


The Mistakes He Made

by Lastsyns



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Dating, Hiding, Hiding Medical Issues, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jack being Jack, M/M, Mpreg, Running, Running Away, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2018-10-14 05:30:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 75,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10529901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lastsyns/pseuds/Lastsyns
Summary: It started as a simple trip to a new planet, so how did it end like this?





	1. Chapter 1

"Come on, Donna. If we don't leave soon we're going to be late," The Doctor complained loudly. 

"I said I was coming," Donna yelled back from the corridor causing him to smile. Though Donna yelled often, the Doctor knew that she never meant anything by it. He quickly wiped the smile off his face as she approached, though, as he really didn't feel like getting hit as well. Moving towards the door, he grabbed his coat pulling it on just as Donna entered the room. "So what is so important that we had to be up early, spaceman?"

"The festival of the sun only happens once a year," the Doctor started. Donna groaned. 

"And you have a time machine," She complained moving towards the door after him. He pulled his coat tighter to himself, stepping out the doors into the dimly lit town. Though it was still night, people moved about the town working or buying their groceries. These people lived in the dark and the festival of the sun celebrated the sun's yearly rise over the city. The Doctor led Donna up to the side of a small hill, laying a blanket out for the two of them to share. He plopped heavily down on it staring out at the field below as the people gathered. They watched as the people danced and sang the traditional songs of greeting as the sun crept higher in the sky. For a brief time, the sun lit the valley illuminating the town's people. Donna leaned forward watching in awe as the people continued to move in the bright sun. The Doctor, however, stared out, barely paying attention as he enjoyed the feeling of the warm sun on his face. He rested one hand on his stomach, propping himself up with the other arm. He frowned as he thought he felt movement deep within his abdomen and not for the first time, he wished he had taken the pill. 

"I'm going back to the TARDIS, Donna," The Doctor informed her as he pushed himself to his feet. Donna looked up at him, the concern showing immediately on her face. The Doctor looked pale compared to when they had been on the TARDIS. 

"Are you alright?" She asked in concern. 

"I'm fine, just watch the festival," The Doctor responded. It was clear that Donna didn't believe him, but she didn't stop him as he made his way back to the TARDIS. He let himself in closing the door behind him before collapsing to the floor of the TARDIS. All of his joy over being at the festival was gone as he once more wondered if he had made the right decision. Placing a hand on his stomach, he closed his eyes as he tried not to remember.

-DW-

He had been on his own. Jack had gone back to Torchwood, while Martha was starting at UNIT. That was alright, though. He could handle being on his own, even if he did tend to make mistakes when there was no one he trusted to stop him. He never thought about the consequences as he rushed headfirst into danger. If he died, he would be reunited with his people, while if he somehow managed to live he would just continue to fight another day. Strangely enough, he hadn't been looking for trouble when he had gone to Arcutan to relax. He wandered down the street enjoying the small shops that lined the unpaved streets. He ate an apple-like fruit that was only grown on the planet before trying one of the smoked fish that was a local delicacy. As the evening progressed, he made his way into one of the small restaurants going to the bar. While he wasn't a fan of alcohol Arcutan was known for their gin and he wanted to sample everything the planet had to offer. It was then that he had made his first mistake, though he didn't know it at the time. No, he would only realize it come morning. 

"My head," he moaned as he opened his eyes. The bright lights in the room let him know immediately that he wasn't aboard the TARDIS like he originally thought but lying in the soft blankets of a hotel room. He stretched, feeling a soreness in his body that wasn't completely familiar. Sitting up, the blankets fell down revealing his bare chest. He looked around the room finding his clothes laying on the floor. Getting quickly to his feet, he scrambled to get dressed. As he was finishing buttoning up his shirt, the door to the bathroom opened and a man with light blue skin entered the room. 

"I was wondering when you were going to wake up," The man told him happily. 

"What did you do to me?" the Doctor questioned him angrily. The man looked vaguely familiar but he couldn't place how he knew him. The man didn't seem concerned, though, by the fact that the Doctor didn't remember him. He sat down naked on the bed, facing the Doctor. 

"I just gave you what you wanted, John," The man answered. The Doctor didn't bother to answer him, as he picked up his shoes and ran out the door. It was only once he was back on the TARDIS, that he allowed himself to break. While he wanted nothing more than to shower, he instead forced himself to the medi-bay stripping himself of his clothes. With shaking hands he cleaned himself up putting his pants and the rags into a drawer on the TARDIS. He then took blood running them through the TARDIS databanks. The blood showed what he feared. The man had drugged him, before using his body. It had taken most of his strength not to just collapse on the floor of the TARDIS as he stumbled his way to the shower. He washed his body throughly, just wanting to rid himself of all evidence of what happened, but little did he know, that night was only the beginning


	2. Chapter 2

For the next few days, he spent the majority of the time in the shower, not caring about eating or sleeping as he focused on scrubbing every inch of his body raw. He replayed that night over and over again in his head trying to make sense of what happened. He didn't understand how the man had managed to slip him the drugs without him knowing. Kneeling on the bottom of the tub, he tried to remember how he ended up in the hotel room. Try as he might, though, all he could remember was being in the bar before waking up in the strange room. He thought of going to Martha for help and advice, but he couldn't do it. Martha had chosen to walk away and he wasn't going to drag her back in. He also couldn't bring himself to tell her how weak he had been. So rather than going for help, he made a decision to try to move past what happened. 

He started simply by forcing himself out of bed the next morning and into the kitchen. He made himself a simple breakfast of tea with a banana. He felt antsy that day choosing to work underneath the console as a way of relaxing. It was hard but he managed to keep from taking a shower until just before lunch. Each day it got a little easier as he pretended that nothing happened. That he had gone to the planet and spent the day having fun. He then had returned safely to the TARDIS spending that night alone in his bed, just like always. He acted like when he went into the medi-bay to test his blood, that it was just for a regular blood test on his energy and not to look for STIs. He was driving himself insane upon the TARDIS, though. Normally, he could spend weeks by himself but now he just felt restless. 

Needing to move, he started investigating Adipose, the diet company that had appeared in London. It was because of that decision that he ran into Donna again. She was just what he needed to feel alive again if only he could find the courage to talk to her.

-DW-

"Spaceman?" Donnna questioned coming into the TARDIS a short time later. She had been enjoying the festival but she couldn't just sit there while the Doctor was obviously hurting. Going back to the TARDIS, she expected to find him hiding in his room or the library, so she was surprised to find him sitting on the floor just inside the TARDIS doors. She flopped down next to him, putting her hand on his arm. "What's the matter?"

"Just feeling a little bit off, that's all," He lied forcing a smile on his face as he looked at her. His eyes betrayed his smile, however, showing the worry that he was feeling clearly. 

"Maybe we should go see Martha," Donna suggested. The Doctor narrowed his eyes at her. 

"I said I was fine, Donna," He snipped angrily getting to his feet. Donna wasn't detered by his anger and followed him across the control room into the corridors. 

"No, you said that you were feeling off. That's not fine," Donna argued him. 

"Leave it, Donna," He yelled back as he headed towards his room eager to get away from her. 

"Doctor," She tried again. He ignored her as he entered his room, slamming the door shut behind him. Irritated, he stormed over to his bed flopping face up on it. He sighed loudly running his hands down his face as he tried to calm down. He knew Donna was right, he should go see Martha. He had the same thought several times since this all began but the problem was if he saw Martha he would have to admit what had happened to his body. He would also have to admit that this thing growing inside of him was real, when he tried so hard to forgot most days that it was there. Grabbing his pillow, he held it over his face. 

When the nausea first started, he didn't think much about it. He had been pushing himself running with Donna trying to feel normal again. Though he was still cautious about what he drank or ate. He carefully watched everything edible that was set in front of him or only ate at diners he trusted. With Donna by his side, during the day he was feeling confident in himself again. That was until the morning that he went into the medi-bay for his nausea. He stared open mouthed at the monitor in complete disbelief about what she was telling him. It had to be some sort of horrible joke. 

"It can't be possible," He argued her. The TARDIS hummed at him sadly as she confirmed her findings for the second time. The Doctor scoffed loudly. One thing he knew for sure was that Time Lord men didn't get pregnant, so rather than trying to find out how the baby came to be, he instead stormed out to the control room. Pulling the panel off the side of the console, he climbed underneath it determined to find the problem in her wiring. Cleaning the wiring and fixing the connections in the first panel, he returned to the medi-bay quickly becoming angry when she returned the same results. 

"You're wrong," The Doctor snipped kicking the wall angrily. 

"What is she wrong about?" Donna questioned coming out of the swimming pool. Her wet hair dripped down her face and onto the towel that she had wrapped around her swimsuit. 

"A diagnostics test that I have her running. She keeps coming up with an impossible result," He told her. It was only a half lie and the closest he had come to telling her the truth from the beginning. "I am going to drop you off at your mum's house so that I can spend time rewiring the console. I will come back and get you when I am done."

"Promise?" Donna questioned. 

"I promise. Give me a few days to fix her wiring and then we will go somewhere fun," The Doctor promised her. She didn't question his motives as he dropped her off down the street from her home. He waved goodbye from the door then sent the TARDIS back into the vortex. Bringing her out just as quickly, he parked her in an alley way a short ways from Donna's house before setting out to prove the TARDIS wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

For days he worked underneath the console, rewiring her console. He overhauled her system fixing everything at once rather than the spotty repairs that he usually did as needed. In the end, she ran smoother and faster than she had since he stole her almost five-hundred years prior. She hummed her happiness as she felt better due to his diligence in repairing her systems. Unfortunately, she couldn't make her thief feel happiness in return as she returned the same diagnosis regardless of how hard he tried to change his fate. Confused and scared, he finally accepted that no matter what he did to the TARDIS she was going to return the same results. Stumbling his way to the medi-bay, he dug through all of the cupboards until he found a pill that would end his problem. Yet, he could never bring himself to take it. 

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the little green pill that would have ended his problem. He would have been sick for a few days but then he would have been able to run around like normal. Except as he held the pill for the first time, all he could think about was that he was going to end the life of another innocent child. The baby growing deep within him didn't know that it had been conceived from an act of hate. It didn't know, how much the Doctor resented it nor how much he wished he could change what happened to him. So instead of taking the pill, he decided to ignore the issue. He ran across the green field or the snowy hills with Donna by his side, finding trouble along the way. For a moment, he could pretend that his body was his own. That was until the movement started. 

"I'm not going away Spaceman, until you open up this door and talk to me," Donna persisted even as he tried to ignore her. Taking her threat as a challenge, he stood up making his way out of his bedroom and into the ensuite. He stripped his clothes off, letting them fall to the floor. He frowned as he noticed the small bump that had grown on his normally skinny frame. He poked it, unhappily as he tried to remember what he had eaten recently. Yesterday while watching a movie with Donna, he had a banana split with chocolate syrup, peanut butter, and raspberry jam. Then after she went to bed, he made himself a plate of chips covered in custard and maple syrup. He had wanted the snack while Donna was still awake but she had made it clear that he wasn't allowed to eat what she considered strange concoctions in front of her after he had the hot dog with pineapple on top. He tried to explain to her that he had a superior palate and that it was a specialty on... Well, he couldn't think of a planet at the time but given enough time he was sure that he could. 

Thinking of the snack made his stomach growl. Maybe after his shower, he would drop Donna off for a few hours so that he could enjoy his meal in peace. Crossing the room to the large shower, he turned on the water standing beneath the spray. As always the water was the perfect temperature and he felt it relaxing his stiff body. He stared down watching the water disappear down the drain. He didn't keep track of the time as he stood there letting the water calm him. He felt tired as his body continued to relax and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed to sleep for a few hours. Picking up the bottle of shampoo, he cleaned his hair and body before getting out of the water. Yawning, he dried off then went to the small medicine cabinet that he kept in the room. Opening it, he pulled out a bottle of vitamins taking two of them as he never seemed to eat right during his travels. He then took an anti-emetic as the vitamins tended to make him nauseous. Finally, he took his energy medication before heading back into his room and crawling naked beneath the soft blankets. He snuggled happily down so that his head was barely sticking out of the top. Feeling relaxed, he let his eyes close hoping that he would drift quickly off to sleep. 

Except his mind had other ideas and as he laid there trying desperately to sleep, all he could think about was the child growing within his body. Despite his constant attempts to pretend he wasn't pregnant, he was going to give birth one day to the child. Then he wasn't sure what he was going to do. He didn't want the child, he wasn't about to let the man who raped him take the baby, nor was he able to give the baby up for adoption due to it being half Time Lord. The consequences of someone find out the child's true heritage would be cataphoric and he wasn't going to let the baby suffer. No child deserved that.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this," he whispered to his stomach acknowledging the child for just a moment. "I can't be your daddy but I promise that I will never let you suffer." Done talking, he rolled over as he tried to force the thought away. His thoughts, however, only became worse as he once more found himself remembering that morning in the hotel room. He could still see the man clearly down to the blue skin around his fingers. The man had claimed that he wanted what happened to his body and that made him feel sick despite the anti-emetic in his system. He gagged, forcing himself to sit up. His hearts were racing and he knew that he wasn't' going to be able to sleep again anytime soon. So reluctantly he threw back the warm covers and climbed out of bed. Dressing back in his suit he made his way out to the control room. Donna was sitting on the captain's chair reading a book and she glared at him as he entered. 

"Ready to answer my question?" She snipped at him as he approached the console. 

"Nope," he responded cheekily. Throwing the handbrake, he sent the TARDIS on her way and back to the one planet that he swore that he would never set foot on again. Donna wasn't the only one who needed answers.


	4. Chapter 4

"Stay on the TARDIS," The Doctor ordered as he pulled on his coat. He tried to seem confident but inside he felt nauseous. All he wanted to do was pull the handbrake and send them as far as possible from this planet. Except if he ran, then he would never get the answers that he needed. He would give birth to the child while wondering why the man chose him. Out of everyone else on the planet, what made the man seem him as vulnerable enough to take advantage of. Whether or not Donna saw the shudder that went through his body wasn't clear as she began to yell at him. 

"I'm not sure what is going on with you, sunshine, but this needs to stop," Donna snipped at him. As she grabbed her coat as well. 

"What exactly needs to stop, Donna?" The Doctor questioned her trying to sound bored as he leaned against the door frame.

"You ignoring me and hiding whatever it is that is bothering you," Donna told him. Softening her voice she continued as she took a step forward. "I know you think if you keep saying you're fine it will eventually be true, but I can tell it is tearing you up inside, Doctor."

"I am fine," The Doctor lied. Turning he went to open the door but Donna put a hand on his arm to stop him. 

"Doctor," She started. He leaned his head against the door frame taking a deep breath. 

"Please, Donna, just let me be fine," he begged her softly.

"Alright, but know that I will still be here when you're not," Donna answered. He turned into Donna, letting her hold him for a moment as he rested his head upon her shoulder. He didn't deserve a friend like her. She had stood by him the last few months despite his angry and general unhappiness. He knew he was also having unpredictable moodswings that made him happy one moment and weepy the next. He never knew which one it was going to be. Releasing Donna, he stood up straight fixing his coat. 

"I'll be back soon," He promised her. 

"I'm going with you," Donna told him. The Doctor shook his head no. As much as he wanted Donna to go with him for support, he didn't want her to know what happened to him. 

"The man I am going to meet is very dangerous and I don't want to put you in danger. Please just stay here and when I get back I promise that we will go somewhere fun," The Doctor asked of her. Donna narrowed her eyes at him.

"If it is dangerous then you need me there to help you," Donna argued him. While she didn't like the Doctor treating her like a child, she understood that he was only trying to protect her. This wasn't the first time that she had to stay behind because he was venturing to meet someone dangerous and she doubted it would be the last.

"Donna," the Doctor drew out her name in annoyance. 

"Don't Donna me," she snipped at him. He sighed. He knew there was no point in continuing to argue her. One of these days he would get a companion who knew how to listen to him when he told them not to wander off. So instead of continuing to argue her, like he wanted to do, he instead let her follow him off of the TARDIS. He led her in the opposite direction of where he had met the man, taking her to a small cafe. They entered sitting down at a table together. He ordered himself a tea, a piece of banana cream pie and a coffee with cherry pie for Donna. They made small talk as they ate. Finishing, the Doctor announced crankily that he had been stood up being careful not to blame Donna for following him. 

Whether or not she believed him, he wasn't sure but she didn't argue him. Paying for their meal, they ventured back out. He took her to a nearby store, wandering in it and letting her buy souvenirs. They then made their way to one of the many parks that decorated the planet. Though the trees were different and the grass was a paler shade of green, there wasn't really a large difference between the park they visited and a park on Earth. They wandered until late in the day before returning to the TARDIS. Once there they relaxed watching a movie together eating ice cream until Donna bid him goodnight. He waved her off, waiting until she was in her room before rushing back to the control room. Thanks to Donna, he was now tired and just wanted to crawl into the bed for the night as well. He couldn't, though. Not yet. First, he needed the answers that Donna had prevented him from getting earlier in the day. 

Making his way out of the TARDIS, he wandered to the restaurant that he had gone to before. He made his way to the bar, sitting down he ordered himself a water as he looked for the man who had abused his body. It didn't take him long to find the blue skinned man sitting with a small group of women. The Doctor kept one eye on his drink as he watched the man laughing and flirting with them. He sipped his water slowly as he waited impatiently for a moment to confront the man. He saw his opportunity as the man excused himself from the table heading to the loo. Abandoning his drink, the Doctor followed him. Making sure the rest of the toilet was clear, he used his sonic to lock the door before approaching the man as he exited the stall. 

"Remember me?" The Doctor questioned the man. 

"John!" the man exclaimed happily, much like he was greeting an old friend. "What do I owe the pleasure of your company tonight?"

"I am not here for a social call. I want to know why you chose me," The Doctor informed him. The man looked at him the confusion clear on his face. 

"What do you mean why I chose you? If I remember that night correctly, you chose me," the man responded as he headed to the sink to wash his hands. "You came to me a few months back asking me to help you feel less alone. We spent the next few nights together and I thought we had something special."

"You're lying," The Doctor growled. 

"I'm not. I thought we had something special until you ran from me," The man pouted. He finished washing his hands and wiped them off on his shirt. Reaching out to the Doctor, he laid a hand on his arm. A shudder went through his body causing him to gag as he took a step back. His mind was reeling at the man's words. How could they have spent days together when he didn't even remember the man beyond waking up in the hotel room.

"You raped me," The Doctor stuttered. 

"You asked for it," the man responded. Going to the door, he pulled on the handle unhappy to find it locked. He turned on the Doctor glaring at him. "Let me out."

"First admit what you did to me and why," The Doctor told him trying to sound calm now that he had the upper hand as the man couldn't leave without him unlocking the door.

"How many times do I have to tell you, you wanted me too," the man snipped at him angrily. 

"I did not," The Doctor yelled. Perhaps it was his anger or the hormones that were surging through his body that made it hard for him to think straight. Still, he wasn't sure how he ended up close to the man with his fingers pressed against the man's temples. It was simple for him to break past the man's defenses infiltrating his mind. He paid no attention to the damage that he was causing as he searched for the memories he wanted. He saw himself being led to the small hotel room that he had woken up in.

"This isn't my TARDIS," he heard himself complain. 

"You're cute when you're drunk," The man flirted with him. He saw the man kissing him reaching for his belt. 

"Don't," He told him slapping the man's hand away as he leaned away from the kiss. 

"Don't be like that, John," The man frowned as he began to undo the Doctor's shirt buttons. 

"I said no," The Doctor snapped. It didn't matter what he told the man, though, as the man forced him to lay on his stomach. The Doctor relived the memory as the man used his body for his own pleasure, not listen to the Doctor, nor caring about the number of times he was told to stop. Finding his release deep in the Doctor's body, he rolled off of him staring up at the ceiling as the Doctor curled into himself beside him. 

"Don't worry, John, you won't remember this in the morning," The man reassured him as he stood. 

Feeling sick, the Doctor pushed through the memories confirming that he had only stayed the one night before releasing the man's mind. He collapsed to the floor in front of the Doctor seizing. The Doctor pulled out his sonic unlocking the door as he ran from the room. He kept running through the restaurant and out the door, not stopping until he reached the safety of his TARDIS. He pulled the handbrake sending them into the vortex and as far away as possible from the planet. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and he was sniffling loudly as he stumbled his way to his room. Collapsing down on his bed, he curled into himself as he cried. Finding the man was supposed to make him feel better by giving him the answers he needed. At that moment, though, he never wanted to move again.


	5. Chapter 5

The Doctor barely slept as he spent most of the night curled into himself crying. Once more, the small green pill was gripped tightly in his hand but he didn't dare bring it to his mouth. The memories that he had obtained from the man were flooding his mind and he now knew that he wasn't the only one this man had hurt. He had lured countless men and women to trust him before taking advantage of their bodies. The Doctor felt no guilt at stopping the man from hurting another unsuspecting person. He just should have found a different way to stop him. He could still see the man seizing on the floor of the toilets and how he had just stepped over him to go back to the safety of his TARDIS. Rolling over, he stared off at the far wall of his room trying desperately to push the memories to the back of his mind. If he could just lock them behind a wall he would be able to continue through his days as if nothing happened. He wanted to lock himself away as well but Donna would know something was wrong and come to find him. 

It was with great reluctance that he finally pulled himself out of the comfort of his bed. He laid the small green pill on his bedside table before stripping off his clothing. Leaving them on the floor, he stumbled his way to the shower. The water was the perfect temperature as always but today that angered him. Reaching out, he turned down the cold water. The hot water hit his skin, turning it red. He stood there, with his hands resting on the wall and his head hanging, letting it burn away the memories and soothe his aching body. He didn't notice, nor did he care when the TARDIS adjusted the water back to a more suitable temperature for his body. He just continued to stand there until he felt a gentle nudging from the TARDIS to move. Only then did he take the time to wash his body, scrubbing his stomach, bottom, and gentiles until they felt raw. He washed his hair, then climbed out of the shower. Drying off, he stood naked in front of the full-length mirror on his wall. He could see the red skin standing out prominently against the rest of his pale body. His stomach had a small bump on it, the baby making itself known even as he tried to ignore it. 

Turning quickly away, he opened his medicine cabinet. Taking his daily dose of pills, he ignored the soothing cream that the TARDIS provided for his skin. He wanted to feel the comfortable heat as a reminder that his body was clean of the man's touch, if not the child growing within him. Continuing his morning as normal, he dressed making sure to return the pill to his pocket before heading to the kitchen for breakfast. By the time that the kettle heated, Donna had joined him. He put a fake smile on his face as he made himself a cup of tea and her a coffee. He made toast for the two of them for breakfast, smothering them in marmalade and peanut butter with a thin layer of cheese hidden under the concoction for his slices with just butter for her. 

"Did you sleep well?" The Doctor questioned as he sat down at the table. 

"I did. Did you?" Donna wondered. The Doctor shook his head no. 

"I didn't sleep much," The Doctor answered her deciding, to tell the truth for a change. He took another bite of his toast chewing it slowly. 

"You never do," Donna commented tiredly. The Doctor nodded his agreement. 

"That is true," He agreed with his mouth full. Though he had been sleeping more recently as his hormones adjusted to the changes in his body. Donna made a face of disgust at him, so he swallowed the food in his mouth. Then took a sip of his tea to wash out the rest of the food before continuing. "We are currently just floating in the vortex, but I was thinking of setting the TARDIS to random and seeing where we end up. What do you say?"

"Can I drive?" Donna asked. 

"No," The Doctor responded immediately without even thinking about it. 

"Oh come on, I have watched you fly and I am sure that I can drive her," Donna complained crankily. The Doctor leaned up to see that she had only drunk a quarter of her first cup of coffee. There was no point in trying to argue her until at least her second cup and even then he tended to lose. 

"Alright," He agreed. What was the worse that could happen? Together they finished their breakfast. He cleaned up while Donna went to shower and change. Joining him in the control room, the Doctor helped her to get situated at the console. He stood right behind her as she took over the main controls driving the TARDIS through the Vortex and almost putting a dent in the 1980's. Her enthusiasm was catchy, and soon he found himself smiling and laughing along with her as they flew. His plans of going to a random place were put on hold, however, as the cell phone Martha gave him rang. 

Answering it, he was pleased to hear from his old friend. Being called back to Earth was the distraction that he needed. With both Donna and Martha by his side, he fought the Sontarans defending Earth from ATMOS. He was so busy that he didn't even stop to think about what happened to his body, finally feeling like his old self again. He was reminded about his fluctuating hormones when he thought Donna was leaving him for good, practically breaking down as he told her the adventures that he had planned for them. He didn't think about the abomination growing deep within his abdomen as he planned on sacrificing himself to destroy the Sontaran ship. At the last moment, he was saved by Luke as he sacrificed himself in the Doctor's place. 

Tired, unhappy about another death, but relieved the world was safe, he returned to the TARDIS with Donna and Martha by his side. Martha didn't plan on going on another trip with him, yelling at him as the TARDIS took off on her own. The Doctor wasn't sure why but just like his hand in the jar, he was excited to find out the reason. When she finally landed, the three of them exited the TARDIS into broken down hallways. They were quickly approached by armed men. They commented on the fact that none of them had marks on their hands as they moved to arrest them. The Doctor was led over to a machine and his hand was forced into it. He immediately recognized the progenation machine, as it sliced his hand to take his DNA. 

"No, no, no, not again. I won't let you do this to me again," He cried out. Using his free hand, he desperately fumbled with his jacket searching for his sonic. Finding it, he quickly changed the settings, aiming it at the machine. The machine shot out electrical burst before bursting into flames. 

"What are you doing?" A soldier demanded to know as the Doctor aimed the sonic at the device holding his hand. He used his sonic to stop the men from shooting them as he hurried back on to his TARDIS. He made sure that Donna and Martha were safely on as well before he pulled the handbrake to send them back into the vortex and away from that horrible place. Trying to stop the tears, he ran from the control room, making it to his room in record time. He hurried into the ensuite, washing the back of his hand. The water burned the cut but he didn't care as at least it made him feel something. Finishing washing, he went out into his room to see that he wasn't alone. 

"I don't feel like company right now, Martha," The Doctor snipped at her. 

"That's too bad because I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me," Martha responded. She stared him in the eyes as she sat down on the edge of his bed. They had played this game many times throughout their travels together. Sometimes she won, other times, he ignored her for days before finally talking. 

"There is nothing to talk about," The Doctor informed her snidely. 

"Don't give me that. Donna says that you haven't been yourself lately. She told me that you keep saying you're fine except that you both know that you're not. Also, I heard you today. I heard you tell those soldiers that you won't let them do this to you again. What did you mean?" Martha questioned. Her tone made it clear that she wasn't asking as a friend but as a doctor who was concerned about her patient. 

"Drop it, Martha," The Doctor practically yelled at her. Martha was unphased by his yelling as she crossed her arms narrowing her eyes at him. 

"You yelling at me just proves that something is wrong. Now you have an option, you either talk to me or you get used to having Donna and me on board full time until you do," Martha advised him calmly. If anything her calm tone made him angrier. He paced his room mumbling under his breath about apes as he contemplated her words. While he missed Martha, with the two of them on board he wouldn't get any peace. They would follow him until he admitted what happened to his body, letting everyone know just how weak he had been. If he just broke down and told Martha now, she could help him as she did many times over the year without question. Going over to his bed, he sat down on it beside her, staring at the wall. Letting himself think about what happened once more brought his tears. 

"It's alright, just let it out," she cooed soothingly as she turned so that she could hold him better. He leaned his head against her shoulder and she wrapped her arms around him holding him close. With everything that happened to him over the last few months, her gentle touch made the tears fall faster and he sobbed into her shoulder as he considered letting someone share his pain.


	6. Chapter 6

"If I tell you something, will you promise that you won't tell anyone," the Doctor questioned softly after a while. He was still sniffling softly and had yet to move his head from her shoulder, just relishing in being held for a moment. 

"I promise," Martha answered immediately. 

"I mean it. You can't tell Donna, the Captain, or even your mum," The Doctor begged her. 

"I promise I won't tell anyone. Just tell me what happened," Martha cooed softly keeping her voice soothing. The Doctor leaned away from her, looking down at the floor. Martha put a hand on his back continuing to rub it softly and comforting him while he gathered his thoughts. Even if he wanted to talk to her, she could tell he was having trouble finding the words. 

"I was," he paused swallowing hard. Clearing his throat he tried again. "I was raped."

"When?" Martha questioned trying to keep her voice calm despite the Doctor's confession. 

"Before I picked up Donna again," He responded. He refused to look at her as he continued. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he began to talk. He told her about waking up in the hotel room, unsure where he was or what the man had done to his body, even if he suspected it from the beginning. He was honest as he told her about hiding in the shower for days, scrubbing his body clean and how it took him time to force himself back out into the universe. 

"Obviously it is still tearing you up inside so why didn't you come to me sooner?" Martha asked him. 

"Because I thought I would be alright. And I was doing better, until," he trailed off again. 

"Until what?" Martha wondered pushing him to talk. He shook his head no as he stared downward. "You don't have to tell me right now, but it is going to continue to bother you until talk about it. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone and I mean it."

"I'm, I'm, I'm pregnant," He stuttered. Saying the words felt like a weight being lifted off his shoulders even as it made the child growing within his body even more real. 

"Oh, Doctor," Martha gasped. "I am so sorry that you have been dealing with this on your own. I know you don't like to talk about yourself but you should have come to me or at least told, Donna. We could have helped you deal with what happened, rather than having you hold it in until you broke."

"I couldn't," The Doctor sniffled. "Most of the time I can ignore the fact that the child exists but it is slowly becoming more active and making itself known."

"Are you keeping the baby?" Martha questioned him. The Doctor shrugged. 

"I don't know what to do about it. I don't want this baby Martha, but I can't bring myself to rid myself of it. I also can't give it up for adoption as being half Time Lord, it will be in danger if someone finds out. I am not going to cause it to suffer," The Doctor explained. He sighed letting his head fall against Martha's shoulder again. "Tell me what I should do."

"You know I can't. I'm sorry, Doctor, but this is a decision that you will have to make on your own. What I can do, though, is help you every step of the way. Starting with a thorough examination in the medi-bay so we can figure out what we are dealing with," Martha advised him. 

"I have already been testing my blood for STI's, whenever I test my energy levels," He admitted. Martha furrowed her eyebrows in concern. When she first started traveling with him, he ignored his energy levels until they caused him to have dishabilitating headaches. It was only at her instance and constant nagging that she got him to start testing his energy levels on a weekly basis and taking energy medication daily. With her help, his headaches became rarer and easier for him to handle. 

"Have you done any test towards the baby?" Martha questioned. Not commenting that she thought testing his blood once a week for STI's was a little excessive. She would deal with that at another time when he felt more secure. 

"No, and I don't want to," The Doctor answered. 

"Can I?" Martha wondered. The Doctor thought about it a moment. 

"Alright, but I want to know nothing about the baby and I mean nothing. If you tell me anything at all, I will get up and leave the medi-bay," The Doctor threatened.

"Okay," Martha agreed, not seeing another choice. Standing up, she offered a hand to the Doctor. He took it allowing her to lead him out of the safety of his room to the medi-bay. She took him over to the first bed in the room, having him climb up on it and remove his shirt. He did so with great reluctance revealing the red skin on his stomach. "Did you have an allergic reaction to something?" 

"No," The Doctor looked down at his stomach seeing the flushed skin. He looked back up at her mumbling very quickly about how he had scrubbed his stomach until the skin was raw. 

"I can provide you a soothing cream to help with the irritation," Martha offered. 

"I like the feeling," The Doctor lied. Martha sighed. Starting her exam, she started with his head, looking in his ears, eyes, mouth and nose. She felt the nodes on his neck and then worked her way down to listen to his hearts and lungs. He was patient with her as she took his blood pressure, temperature and then drew blood. She put the blood into a drawer next to the bed for the TARDIS to analyze while the Doctor laid back on the bed. Pulling the ultrasound machine over, she set it up. Turning to look at the Doctor, she found that he had his eyes tightly closed with an arm over his face making it clear that he didn't want to see. 

"I'm going to put the gel on your abdomen now and then you will feel pressure from the wand. It shouldn't hurt so if there is any pain, I need to know immediately," Martha informed him as she took a seat again. 

"Fine," The Doctor mumbled into his arm. Martha placed the wand on his stomach, finding the baby with ease. Taking measurements, she found the Doctor was just over five months along and that the baby boy was healthy. The TARDIS confirmed her findings by revealing that despite the Doctor's hesitance over keeping the baby, he had been taking vitamins and other medications he needed on a regular basis. Putting the machine away, she took a clean cloth and wiped the gel off of his stomach. 

"You can sit up now," Martha told him. The Doctor opened his eyes, moving to sit up on the bed. He reached for his undershirt, pulling it on and hiding the bump that was now his normally lithe stomach. 

"Did you get the information you needed?" The Doctor asked. 

"I did and I would like to see you in a month's time to make sure that everything is still developing correctly and that you are alright. In the meantime I really think that you need to talk to Donna," Martha informed him. 

"I can't," he answered standing up. Martha held her arms open to him and he wrapped her in a hug again, just holding her close. "Do you have to leave?"

"I told you that I can't stay, but that doesn't mean I am walking away this time. If you need me, I want you to come visit. It doesn't matter if it is in the middle of the night, I will put the kettle on and we will sit down and talk," Martha responded. The Doctor smiled for the first time in days as he released her. Leaving the medi-bay the two of them went to the control room where Donna was waiting. 

"Are you alright?" Donna asked, reaching out to rub his arm comfortingly. 

"I am," he told her. Going to the console, he pulled the handbrake. It was a short trip to take Martha home. Making sure to drop her off only moments after they left, he watched her from the doorway as she headed into her home. He only wished that she would stay.


	7. Chapter 7

Martha sat at her computer feeling frustrated. It had been a week since she had last seen the Doctor and heard his confession but she still had no idea how to help him. The internet wasn't any help as male pregnancy wasn't something that happened during this century, though she did find some interesting fiction stories that had been written on the subject. She did find a lot of information regarding female pregnancies but she wasn't sure how much it would help her with the Doctor. She wanted to call and ask him but he had made it clear that he didn't want to discuss the pregnancy or anything regarding the baby. The only other person she could think to ask, she was forbidden from talking to. She was tempted to call him anyway but she couldn't lose the Doctor's trust. If he found out, she would never see him again and he would lose his only confidant that he had regarding the child. Giving up for the night, she went to her room taking a long hot bath to relax before finally retiring for the night. 

Waking up early the next morning, she made her way sleepily to the kitchen. She made herself a hot cup of coffee. Going to the living room, she reached for the remote on the coffee table turning on the telly. A soft moan from the couch startled her and she turned quickly to see that she wasn't alone. The Doctor was sleeping on his side facing towards the back of the couch. He had brought a blanket with him from the TARDIS and had found a pillow somewhere. Martha smiled despite being initially startled to find out she wasn't alone in her flat, she was happy to see him. He moaned again, rubbing his face against the pillow. Quickly, she turned the telly down not wanting to wake him. She watched him as he sniffled softly, settling down again. Sitting down in her armchair instead, she curled her legs underneath her as she sat watching the news quietly. 

"Is the kettle still hot?" The Doctor asked almost an hour later. 

"It is, do you want a cup of tea?" Martha offered. The Doctor nodded. Throwing the blankets back he revealed he was sleeping in his full suit. From the amount of clothes he was wearing it was hard to tell that the weight he was gaining was centered in his stomach making it look as though he had just gained weight overall. He padded sleepily to the loo closing the door behind him. Standing, Martha went into the kitchen making him a cup of tea with extra sugar in it. She heard the shower start and sighed. Setting the tea aside, she pulled out eggs, sausage, and bread. By the time the Doctor emerged from the shower breakfast was ready and sitting on the small table. 

"Are you hungry?" Martha wondered. 

"Starving," the Doctor admitted as he wandered over. He his hair was damp from the shower and he had pulled back on his trousers along with undershirt leaving his jacket off. Martha could see that his stomach looked even more pronounced than the last time she saw him and wondered how long it had been since ATMOS for him. He took one look at the food before heading into the kitchen. He returned quickly with peanut butter, marmalade, and cheese. Sitting at his place, he opened the jars and began to assemble a sandwich using all the ingredients in front of him. Martha tried not to gag as she reminded herself that he was pregnant and probably having weird cravings. 

"You know that you could have woken me up last night if you needed the company," Martha advised him as she watched him work. 

"I know. I thought about it when I arrived but it was almost two in the morning your time and it didn't seem fair. Even if I don't conform to Earth time, you do, so I got one of my blankets from the TARDIS and laid down for a few hours as well," the Doctor answered her. Lifting the sandwich, he took a large bite of it.

"Well, you're welcome to stay here whenever you want. I have to work today but there is plenty of tea and food in the cupboard. If there is something you want that I don't have, though, just let me know and I can pick it up on the way home from work," Martha offered. 

"You don't have to buy me food Martha. I have plenty on the TARDIS," The Doctor responded. 

"You actually bought food?" Martha questioned with a laugh of disbelief. During the entire time that they had traveled together she never once saw him go grocery shopping. In fact the entire amount of food at any given time that they usually had on the TARDIS consisted of tea, milk, sugar, and bananas. 

"Donna made me," The Doctor answered making a face that clearly showed what he thought about grocery shopping. 

"Speaking of Donna where is she?" Martha asked curious about why she didn't see his companion yet. 

"I dropped her off for a few days to spend time with her granddad," The Doctor explained. 

"And have you talked to her yet?" Martha wondered. 

"I talk to her about a lot of things," The Doctor responded on purposely misunderstanding her question. 

"I meant," Martha started but was quickly interrupted. 

"I know what you meant and I told you I wasn't going to talk to her," The Doctor snipped snidely.

"You need to talk to somebody," Martha argued him. She saw him glance quickly towards the TARDIS and she sighed. Pushing him would just cause him to run. Instead, she changed the subject trying to get an idea how long it had been since their last visit. The Doctor brightened as he spoke of meeting Agatha Christine before taking Donna to the planet of the hats to fulfill one of her dreams. They had then gone on to visit The Fifteenth Broken Moon of the Medusa Cascade, the Lightning Skies of Cotter Palluni's World and the Diamond Coral Reefs of Kataa Flo Ko, all the places that he had promised to take Donna when he thought she was leaving. While it was apparent that he was having fun, it was obvious that she had ignored her request to return within a months time and she made the mistake of pointing it out. The Doctor didn't say anything else as he stood up going into the TARDIS, slamming the door shut behind him. Martha waited a few minutes, thankful when the TARDIS remained in place. Hopeful that she would still be able to reach him, she headed to the doors.


	8. Chapter 8

Going to the TARDIS, Martha knocked on the doors. When the Doctor failed to answer, she tried the handle finding the door unlocked. She opened it going inside. She expected to have to search the TARDIS to find him either hiding in his room or library so she was shocked to see him sitting next to one of the corals just inside the door. He was watching her, his brown eyes weary even as he rested his hand on his growing stomach. She thought that she was going to have to push him to talk so she was pleasantly surprised when he began to speak without prompting.

"I've tried so hard to ignore this pregnancy but the baby makes itself more and more known everyday. I have felt it kick, move, and have had the strangest cravings for foods I never liked before. My normal trousers no longer fit and I have had to start wearing larger shirts. Even Donna has noticed my weight gain, though she doesn't realize it is due to pregnancy. She just thinks it is because of my diet and while happy I have gained weight has suggested that we start eating healthier. She also doesn't realize that we have been going to safer places as I am afraid I won't be able to run like I used to. I don't know how to tell her that I just want this pregnancy to be over so that I can have my old life back," The Doctor informed her as she took a seat in front of him. 

"I know this has to be hard, Doctor, but having a baby changes things. Once it is born you will still have to take it easy as it won't be able to defend itself," Martha started to explain. The Doctor looked up at her, his eyes almost pleading with her to understand as he spoke again. 

"The baby won't be in danger because I'm not keeping it," the Doctor reminded her. 

"So have you decided what you are going to do once it was born?" Martha questioned. The Doctor shook his head no. "I know you don't want to keep the child but you have said it yourself, this child will never be safe if anyone finds out it is half Time Lord. The best way you can protect the child is to keep it and raise it as your own."

"No," The Doctor told her firmly. He moved his hand off of his stomach letting it fall by his side. 

"Doctor," Martha began but was quickly interrupted. 

"I don't want to discuss this thing growing inside me anymore," He hissed. 

"Then can we discuss how you blantly ignored me?" Martha questioned. The Doctor looked at her cocking an eyebrow in confusion at her words. "I asked you to return in a month's time so that I could examine you again."

"I did," the Doctor informed her, sounding as confused as he looked. Martha gestured to his stomach, showing she didn't believe him. He looked down at it and then looked back up at her. "I promise you, Martha, it has only been one month since I last saw you."

"Prove it," Martha told me. The Doctor sighed loudly but didn't argue as he stood following her to the medi-bay. Once there, he grew even more unhappy with her as she made him strip down to his pants. He sat on the bed in the medi-bay regretting his decision to return as she started with his blood pressure and temperature before moving to his head. She worked her way down his body examining him until she reached the top of his pants. His skin was still bright red on his stomach and moving his pants a little she could see it went down towards his gentiles. Going to the cupboard, she retrieved a gown for him giving it to him to wear. He put it on, then reluctantly removed his pants. He didn't look at her as he laid back on the bed covering his face with a pillow. Not liking that he was using a pillow, she tried to carefully take it from him but he held onto it tightly. Realizing that she was on the losing end, and not wanting to upset him any more than she had to, she returned to her examination. 

"Doctor, how long have you had this rash?" Martha questioned. When he didn't answer her, she carefully moved the gown aside seeing the bright red skin on his gentiles and bottom. She was gentle as she examined him, taking a sample of the skin to test to find out what caused the rash. She covered him with a blanket before pulling the gown up further. Setting up the ultrasound machine, she found the baby. She quickly discovered that he hadn't lied to her. While it had only been a week since she last saw him, it had been a month for him. The baby was growing normally and its hearts were strong. Satisfied she put the machine away and fixed his gown. "You can move the pillow now."

"No," The Doctor mumbled through it. Giving him a moment, she left the room dropping off the samples she took in the lab before going to make him a cup of tea. By the time that she returned to his side, he was once more dressed and sitting on the bed waiting for her. 

"I owe you an apology," Martha informed him as she handed him the tea. "I can tell from the ultrasound that I performed that you have only been gone a month and I am sorry for not trusting you."

"It's alright," The Doctor responded waving her off dismissively. He took a long sip of the tea, relishing in the warmth of it and letting it calm him before speaking again. "Travel with me."

"I can't. I have work and a life here. I can't just run off with you again," Martha answered him. 

"Please Martha, just for the next few months until I give birth," the Doctor asked of her. 

"What about Donna?" Martha questioned. 

"Donna will be safe at her home until I return and I promise you Martha, that I will bring you home in time to work today. Just please don't leave me again," The Doctor begged. He had felt so lost and alone since this pregnancy started and just talking to Martha for the day had helped take away some of the loneliness. Then she was gone. He couldn't let that happen again as he needed her voice of reason when it came to helping him with this child. Even if he didn't always like her advice or what she was telling him, she cared about him and just wanted to help. 

"Alright. Give me a moment to make sure the stove is off and then we can travel again for a few months. But know this, mister, if we don't come back you will have to answer to both the Brigadier and my mother about my disappearance," Martha informed him. The Doctor swallowed hard, then nodded. Leaving the TARDIS for just a moment, she made sure that her flat wouldn't burn down in her absence before returning to the Doctor's side. He smiled weakly at her as he sent the TARDIS into the vortex. 

Over the next few days, a lot changed around the TARDIS. While it was a welcome relief to not have to hide his pregnancy while aboard the TARDIS, he regretted his decision as Martha took every opportunity to discuss the child with him. He tried to avoid her as much as possible but she always seemed to know where to find him, with some new book in her hand that she had gotten from the library on alien pregnancies. She discussed the changes to his body as well as what to expect in the early months with a Time Lord child. Even if he didn't want the child, he appeased her by agreeing to set aside a room for the child.

Two weeks after she came on board, he landed the TARDIS outside of a baby's supply store. It took almost all of his willpower to exit the TARDIS with her and go into the store. Once inside, he was overwhelmed with all of the baby clothes, prams, cots and food. Martha though took his hand leading him over to the furniture first. He turned away from it, knowing that he wasn't going to need a bed as he still didn't plan to keep the baby, no matter how much she pushed him too. She didn't push him as she joined him as they headed over to the blankets. Seeing a cute blue set she picked it up, showing it to him. 

"It has elephants on it," He complained as he looked at the bedding set. She set it back on the shelf as he walked down the aisle. Most of the bedding sets had characters or animals on them that didn't appeal to him but he finally found a pale pink bedding set with white blankets that didn't seem that bad. 

"That one is nice, but look this one has stripes," Martha informed him, gently steering him towards a boy's bedding set again. He narrowed his eyes mumbling about the birds that were embroidered on it before moving on. He didn't like any of the prepared bedding sets so Martha took him over to the indiviual blankets and sheets. He picked up a cream colored blanket first, throwing it into the basket, followed by a light gray. He stared at the blankets for a moment before adding a light blue one as well. Seeming to get the hint that he was having a boy, he then proceeded to pick on two sets of sheets with stars on them. Keeping with the star theme, he added both blue and gray blankets to the pile. Martha watched him as he continued with the trend. With the way he moved, she could tell that he was no longer thinking about the child but about finding as many things with stars as possible. Throwing the last one into the basket, he didn't say anything as he turned heading quickly out of the store leaving her to pay for the items. 

Martha watched him go. While they had made progress, she knew that it was going to take longer than two weeks to get him to accept the baby that he had been ignoring for the last six months. She wheeled the basket up to the front of the store, paying for the items before leaving. Exiting, she was thankful to find that the TARDIS was still where they parked it. She carried the bags on board to find that the Doctor was waiting for her by the console. 

"Where do you want me to put these?" Martha questioned him as he sent them back into the vortex. 

"Just leave them by the door. He will need them when he goes to his family," The Doctor informed her.

"Doctor," Martha started. She didn't get a chance to continue as he ran from the console room. Sighing loudly, she set the bags off to the side before going after him.


	9. Chapter 9

Martha wandered the corridors of the TARDIS looking for the Doctor. Much to his annoyance, there were times that the TARDIS would lead her directly to where he was hiding as she knew that he needed to talk. This wasn't one of those times. She checked his room, the kitchen, the library, his two labs, the living area, and the swimming area before giving up. She went back to the console room first, retrieving the bags that she had left by the door. She carried them to the room that the Doctor had set aside for the baby taking them inside. The room was barren with plain gray walls, showing his dislike of the child. Martha laid the bags inside the room beside the door. She was going to have to talk to him and see if she could convince him to buy paint as well as furniture for the room. In the meantime, she left the room going to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea before heading to the library. 

Going up to the second floor, she took a seat at the desk that she had commandeered. She had books spread out on the desk as well as a binder filled with her notes on any information about male pregnancies she could find. She found out that it wasn't completely of in several species. It gave her a good starting place in order to help the Doctor, even if he wasn't forthcoming about his own species. In her pile she had one of his books, but she wasn't able to read it due to it being written in circular Gallifreyan and he refused to translate it for. Still, she had been able to compare the anatomy drawings in the books to the others books, learning slowly about his body. Reaching for the book, she opened it to the marked drawing before proceeding to open her notebook. She instantly grew annoyed to see his handwriting in the margins of the pages.

Most of the notes weren't helpful as they stated that she was wrong but gave her no clue to the correct information. One or two even seem to laugh at her ideas. She flipped through the pages seeing that he had written on every single one. On the last page, however, he had written a single word. Crespallion. She had no idea what it meant or how it would be helpful but he seemed to want her to know it. She circled the word putting question marks around it as she tried to figure out what the word meant. 

"Crespallion?" She spoke out loud, hoping it would help her to understand. 

"It is the second species. Not human like you speculated in your notes," the Doctor's voice sounded from somewhere above her. She stood picking up the notebook as she headed towards the stairs, quickly climbing to the next level. She saw the Doctor laying on the floor near the bookcase. He was on his back with his feet propped on one of the shelves. He had a book open in one hand and a cup of tea next to him.

"It would be more helpful if you told me why I was wrong, rather than mocking me," Martha told him as she dropped the notebook by his head. He turned his eyes to glare at the notebook before looking up at her. 

"I did. Your notes can't possibly be correct because a male Time Lord can't get pregnant and the second species is Crespallion, not human or any of the other species that you speculated might be compatible with Gallifreyans," The Doctor informed her as he turned his attention back to his book. 

"I hate to correct you Doctor, but you are proof that Time Lord men can get pregnant," Martha answered him. 

"This isn't a normal pregnancy. This thing growing in me is a parasite, nothing more," The Doctor spat. Throwing his book aside, he stood starting towards the stairs. 

"Is it possible that there have been other male pregnancies that you are unaware of?" Martha questioned as she started after him. 

"No. My people were loomed not born like the common ape," the Doctor argued her. Going to the corridors he picked up his pace, practically running as he tried to get away from her.

"What do you mean?" Martha wondered as she followed after him. 

"Doesn't matter," he told her. He rounded another corner, opening the first door he came to and going inside. He made a face, scolding the TARDIS as he found himself in the baby's room. He turned to leave, right as Martha opened the door and blocking his escape. 

"I was looking for you earlier. I know it was hard for you today picking out bedding for the child but I think the stars were a good idea. We could paint the walls in here a light blue or gray and draw stars on the ceiling for the child," Martha suggested. The Doctor moved only his eyes to look around the room before focusing on her without saying a word. "Tomorrow, I would like to go shopping for furniture for this room. We can get a cot and a rocking chair as well as a bureau for the clothing." 

"Why?" The Doctor questioned once she went quiet.

"Because your child will need a place to sleep once it is born," Martha answered him calmly. 

"And it will have that place, just not here," the Doctor responded. 

"Doctor," Martha started. 

"This isn't up for discussion, Martha. It is my child and therefore my choice of whether or not I want to keep him once he is born. Pushing me isn't going to make me change my mind, nor is forcing me to set up a room for the child," The Doctor informed her just as calmly.

"So you have decided where you can take the baby to keep him safe when he is born?" Martha questioned. The Doctor gave her a dirty look as he pushed past her hurrying down the corridor again. Martha let him go. There was no point in pushing him anymore today as it was clear he wasn't going to listen. Instead, she returned to the library to study until she grew tired. Only then did she think of eating her supper before retiring to bed. It seemed as if she had just fallen asleep when she was awoken by a cool body joining her in her bed. She opened her eyes to stare into the scared brown eyes of the Doctor. 

"I had a nightmare," He explained. She raised her arm and he cuddled into her. Closing her eyes she felt his soft breath on her skin and heard his soft sniffling. She rolled so that she could hold him better and he buried his face against her chest as he began to sob. She never got to ask him what had upset him as he drifted off to sleep in her arms and come morning he was gone leaving her alone in her bed once more.


	10. Chapter 10

The Doctor ran from the baby's room relieved when Martha didn't follow him. Making it to his room, he slammed the door behind him locking himself in. He went over to his bed sitting down on it as he caught his breath. He didn't want to think of setting up a room for the child, or anything to do with the child but Martha was right. Even if he didn't want to keep the child, he had no clue what he was going to do with the baby once it was born. The safest choice was to keep the baby aboard the TARDIS with him, raising and teaching it until it was old enough to defend itself. He didn't want to keep the baby, though and was determined to find a home that he could leave the child at. Regardless of what he chose, Martha or whoever the baby went to would need to know about the baby's heritage.

Going over to his desk, he took a seat before pulling over a stack of paper. He didn't think about the child as he began to write, describing what he knew about the Crespallions. He had met them once before when he was in his previous body and they had skin so dark that it looked almost painted on. The one that had sired the child had skin that was almost pale blue compared to some of the others. All of the Crespallions had yellowish green eyes and black hair. He couldn't say what the child would look like, though, as he didn't know who genes would dominate. They had a lower body temperature than Time Lord's but not by much, averging 14 degrees celsius rather than 15 like his. Moving to a new sheet of paper, he told her everything that she needed to know about Time Lords, including how his energy worked. He wasn't sure if the baby would need the energy, nor was he sure that the baby would be a touch telepath as the Crespallions weren't. In fact, the more he wrote, the more he realized he didn't know what to expect with this child. If anyone could figure it out, though, it was Martha so he continued to write telling her everything that she needed to know. By the time he finished writing, he had filled several pages but he wasn't done. Taking the pages with him, he went to the medi-bay. There he had the TARDIS help him to draw and label the anatomy of both a Time Lord and Crespallion male. 

Finishing, he stifled a yawn as he collected the papers. There was still more to write including the medications both species could take, known allergies and other information that he thought Martha could research on her own. He started to stand up, but paused as he flipped quickly through his notes speed reading them. Realizing that he forgot something, he quickly sat back down. When he read her notes earlier in the day, he had been horrified to read about how she thought the baby was going to get out of his body and he needed to make sure that she knew that he wasn't going to give birth without surgery. Flipping to a clean piece of paper as he made sure to notate that he was going to need a c-section in order to safely deliver his child. Satisfied, he picked up his papers heading back to his room. Stopping off at the library first, he dropped off the papers on her desk before continuing on his way. 

He showered, once more scrubbing his skin raw before changing into a clean pair of pajamas. Climbing into his bed, he drifted quickly off to sleep. He wasn't sure if it was because of the writings that he did that day or because of Martha forcing him to think about the child, but his dreams were plagued with the blue man. Once more, he was forced to relive the awful event that caused the child to be growing in his abdomen. Waking up with a scream on his lips, he got quickly out of bed. No longer wanting to be alone, he stumbled his way out of his room and into Martha's bed. She didn't tell him to go, nor did she judge him as rolled over taking him into her arms. He couldn't stop the tears over what the man did to him. He sobbed as he just wished that he could go back in time and stop himself from landing on the planet. He wasn't foolish enough to cross his own timeline, though. Still, for just a moment, he allowed himself the selfish thought of doing so. 

He wasn't sure when he drifted off to sleep, but he awoke before Martha. Carefully extracting himself from her arms, he ran from her room. He didn't stop running until he was back in his room. Going over to his desk, he pulled out two sheets of paper. Despite Martha pushing him to keep the child and the fact that he knew she was right, he had made up his mind. He wrote two letters, folding one inside the other. He dressed for the day, putting the letters in the inside pocket of his jacket. Despite being ready for the day, though, he wasn't ready to face Martha. Not yet. Instead, he opened his closet staring at himself in the full-length mirror. He hated his body and the way it had grown fat to give the child room. He hated it almost as much as he disliked the fact that he was carrying the child. Except, for the next few months he had to convince Martha otherwise. He was going to set up a room for the child, follow her advice and do everything possible to convince her that he had changed his mind. That he wanted this child growing inside his abdomen and maybe one day he would actually believe it. He doubted it, though, as he didn't think he could ever except this child as his own. Taking a deep breath, he closed the door before leaving the room and heading to the kitchen to start his day.


	11. Chapter 11

Over the next couple of months, the Doctor did his best to convince Martha that he wanted the baby. He helped her set up the nursery, painting the walls a blueish gray with stars on the ceiling. Despite Martha's idea to paint childish simple stars on the ceiling, he refused. As a way to ignore the child growing in side of him and give himself something to work on, he used the sonic to project a galaxy on the ceiling. He then worked long hours tracing and painting the ceiling until the Kastaboros system decorated the room. He then added an espresso colored crib, dresser, and rocking chair, that were so dark they almost seemed black until the light hit them reflecting red tones that fit perfectly into the theme. He added the gray set of star blankets to the crib, keeping the blue ones packed away for a later day. 

No matter how hard Martha pushed him, though, he refused to set foot off the TARDIS to buy baby clothes until she came back with things covered in cartoon characters. He stormed around the control room, complaining about apes for almost an hour before he took the clothes leaving the TARDIS. He gave them all to a young woman before going inside. When he returned a short time later, he had a couple of simple baby clothes that were planned colored. He held them up to Martha, then dropped them on the captain's chair before disappering again. No matter how compliant he claimed to be, though, she couldn't help but notice the red skin on his stomach and groin remained. Still, she was starting to believe that he had changed his mind about the child. That was until the pain started. 

"Martha," He whined, shaking her awake. She opened her eyes to see that he was pale. One hand was resting on his stomach and he was trembling.

"What's the matter Doctor?" Martha asked. 

"Please, Martha, it hurts," He complained. As he spoke another sharp pain crossed his abdomen making him cry out. He bent into himself holding his breath as he tried desperately to block the pain. 

"You need to breathe Doctor. I know it hurts but holding your breath isn't going to make it better," Martha advised him. He glared at her as he took a quick breath in, letting it out with a groan. "You can do better than that."

"I can't," He whimpered. 

"Yes you can," Martha reassured him as she got out of bed. She rubbed his back comfortingly as she tried to instruct him on the proper way to breathe. He ignored her as he continued to hold his breath until the pain passed. He panted as he tried to catch his breath. "Come with me to the medi-bay so that I can examine you to determine if you are actually in active labor. You may just be having Braxton hicks contractions."

"You mean I will have to go through this again?" the Doctor questioned, the fear in his eyes clear at the thought. 

"You are still a couple of weeks away from giving birth, Doctor, having false contractions is perfectly normal," Martha explained softly as she took his arm starting to lead him to the medi-bay. 

"Please, Martha, don't make me go through this again. I can't," The Doctor begged her as he walked. He didn't want this. He didn't want to have to go through labor for a child that he wasn't even sure he wanted. The thought of going through the pain of false contractions made it even worse and he couldn't help the tears that streamed down his cheeks as he curled into himself. Martha comforted him while she had the TARDIS scan him, confirming that he wasn't in labor yet. The news just made him cry harder and he whimpered, "I can't" over and over again. 

As the night wore on, the contractions faded. He fell into a light sleep, whimpering even in his dreams. Martha couldn't sleep, though, as she pulled out her cell phone. Calling UNIT, she began making preparations for the Doctor to be admitted later in the same day that she had left on for a c-section. It took her several attempts to convince the other doctors that she wasn't playing a prank on them and that she really did have a pregnant male that was going to be delivering soon. They finally agreed to set up a room for him and prepare an operating room for his arrival. While it was the same day for them it was a few days later before the Doctor before the contractions started again. He immediately began begging her to stop the pain and this time she complied. Giving him the time and date, she had him land the TARDIS directly in the UNIT hospital. Once there, he was immediately placed in a wheelchair and rushed back to the operating room. 

"I have a group of doctors waiting to assist me with delivering your son. Once we reach the operating room, I am going to have you change into a hospital gown. After, I will give you an epidural to numb the lower half of your body so that we can perform the c-section. Once he is delivered and you are cleaned up, I have a room waiting for you to recover in until you can return to the TARDIS," Martha explained as she walked quickly beside him. 

"And how soon will that be?" he wondered. 

"A few days at least. We need to make sure that both you and the baby are healthy and that you are healing correctly before I will even think of releasing you," Martha stated. The Doctor made a face at her as he nodded. Reaching the operating room, he stood up out of the dreaded wheelchair to change. He was unhappy about Martha having to assist him as the pain took his breath away. Once changed he was led into the room and he sat on the edge of the bed. He gripped the blankets as he curled into himself following her instructions. He wished more than anything that he was back on his TARDIS as he felt the needle entering his back. The medicine did its job, though, and soon his lower body was numb. Martha helped him to lay back and a screen was placed to block his view of his abdomen. 

"Martha?" He questioned as a strange man took his place by his head. 

"I'm right here, Doctor," She reassured him. She briefly took his hand gripping it tightly in hers. As much as he wanted her to continue to hold his hand, she wasn't able to comfort him for long as she had a job to do. Taking charge, she picked up the scalpel. The Doctor heard her giving the others orders but was unable to feel anything beyond a faint tugging sensation. It grew stronger for a moment, then he heard the screams of a newborn child fill the room. 

"Would you like to meet your son?" A nurse asked as she came around the curtain a short time later with the baby in her arms. The Doctor looked over at the tiny screaming child. He had a small amount of dark hair covering his head. He showed no signs of the man that helped to sire him, but the Doctor couldn't help but be reminded of that horrible night as he stared at the child. Reaching out, he gently touched the child's hand as he apologized silently. It felt like time stood still as he couldn't take his eyes off the baby. Sooner than he realized, though, the screen was removed and he was wheeled to his room. A nurse followed them with the child in a cot and she tended to the baby as Martha made the Doctor comfortable. 

"How are you feeling?" Martha questioned as she ran through his vitals. 

"Tired, thirsty, and generally unwell," The Doctor told her. 

"I'm sorry to hear that but it is to be expected after just having surgery. I will get you a cup of tea here in a few minutes. First I am going to go help the nurses finish cleaning up and weighing your son. He is also going to need a bottle here soon if you want to do the honors," Martha responded. The Doctor looked at the baby, then back to her. He faked a loud yawn, smacking his lips. 

"I'm really tired," He whispered. 

"I understand. Just rest, I will be right here if you need me," Martha responded. Going across the room, he watched as they tended to the child. With their attention drawn away from him, he poked and tried to move his legs, desperate to get out of the bed. He stopped as Martha looked at him. He laid there watching as she sent the nurse out of the room, only to have the same nurse return with a bottle and a cup of tea a few minutes later. He kept his eyes on Martha, drinking his tea as she picked up his child giving him his first feeding. It should have been his job, but he could bring himself to hold his baby. He wanted more than anything to run as far as he could from the room, but his legs prevented him from moving. He felt trapped and he tried not to show his fear over the feeling as he drank. 

"Have you decided on a name for him yet?" Martha questioned coming over to his bed. 

"Not yet," The Doctor told her. He finished off his tea, trying to move his legs again. He was relieved when he saw the faintest movement under the sheet. 

"Well, he is a healthy 3.4 kgs and is a good eater. Later, I will take a sample of his blood so that we can start testing it to find out what allergies to medications he may have," Martha advised the Doctor. 

"Alright," The Doctor agreed. As he finished his bottle, Martha burped him, then tucked him into his cot. 

"Can't sleep?" Martha questioned. The Doctor shook his head no. "You need to rest. Let me get you a light sedative to help you sleep." She offered. 

"I don't need a sedative," The Doctor scowled. 

"Nonsense, your son is in good hands and you have barely slept the last few days," Martha told him. He didn't argue as she left, returning with a syringe filled with painkillers and a second with a sedative. He scowled at her but allowed her to give him both. Settling down in his bed, he pretended to drift off to sleep, desperately fighting the effects of the medications racing through his system. He waited until he heard the door to his room open then close again before opening his eyes a crack. Finding he was alone, he got out of bed as quickly as he dared. He found his suit in the cupboard and took it out holding it in one arm. Reaching into the front pocket, he pulled out the letters he wrote. 

"I'm sorry, little one, but I can't do this," He whispered approaching the cot. Laying the letters on the blanket, he took one last look at his son before leaving the room. 

-DW-

Hearing the sound of the TARDIS leaving, Martha ran to the hallway. She stood watching it in disbelief. There was no way the Doctor should have had the strength to fight off the sedative and walk to the TARDIS on his numbed legs, yet he had somehow accomplished it. Standing there accomplished nothing, however, and while she had feared that the Doctor would run from the moment they landed she had trusted him to remain until she released him. While it worried her as his doctor, it didn't surprise her. Turning she made her way down the hall and to his room. The entire way there, she prayed silently that she was wrong about what she would find. Opening the door, she found the hospital gown and IV laying on the bed. The cot was next to the bed with the tiny bundle sleeping soundly inside of it. Laying on his blanket was a note with her name on it. 

"I'm so sorry little one," Martha apologized to the child as she picked up the note. She opened it and a second one fell out. She caught it as it fell, noting who it was for. Turning back to the note that was addressed to her, she read it through twice. Sighing she folded it, placing it in her pocket. It was short but clear on what the Doctor wanted to happen. Pulling her cell phone out, she dialed the familiar number.


	12. Chapter 12

"Ready or not, here I come," Jack called out. He sauntered nakedly through his office and out into the laboratories of the hub, taking his time to find his hiding lover. There was once a time that he thought that he was too old for games, but naked hide and seek had quickly become one of his favorites. He entered the plant-filled room easily finding Ianto crouching behind a desk. He leaned on it, the happiness clear in his eyes as he looked down at the naked Welshman. "Found you."

"You cheated. You always cheat," Ianto complained as he stood. 

"Yet, you continue to play," Jack laughed helping Ianto out from behind the desk. "I think you like me cheating."

"Do I?" Ianto questioned. Jack nodded as he pushed the young man so that his back was on the desk with Jack towering over him. Jack lifted Ianto's legs taking a step forward as he continued to talk. 

"You do because you like it when I find you. You wait for me with your body hardening in anticipation knowing that when I find you I am going to take you right there," Jack whispered seductively as he pushed himself slowly forward. Bottoming out, he took Ianto in his hand giving him a gentle squeeze. "Tell me I'm wrong."

"You're wrong," Ianto moaned. Jack gave a short thrust and Ianto couldn't help the yelp that escaped his lips. 

"Liar," Jack responded as he claimed Ianto's mouth. Ianto kissed him deeply, letting Jack take charge as Jack moved deep within his body. Their lovemaking was slow as Jack reminded the Welshman just how much he loved him. He fell over the edge first, spilling himself between their two bodies. Jack joined him a moment, falling over the edge with a deep groan before collapsing down on top of Ianto. He lay there trying to catch his breath as Ianto ran his hand soothingly along his spine. As he rested, he heard his phone ringing in his office. Swearing under his breath, he quickly but carefully extracted himself from his young lover's body. Hurrying across the hall, he picked up the phone as it rang again. 

"Torchwood," He answered. He rested the phone on his shoulder and reached for his pants. 

"Jack it's Martha," Martha informed him. Jack paused dropping the pants back on top of the rest of his clothes. 

"Martha Jones, what do I owe the pleasure of this call besides the fact that you missed me?" Jack wondered. "You know we can always use you around here to help out with the artifacts or for a round of naked hide and seek."

"As much fun as that sounds, I am actually calling because I need you up here at UNIT," Martha responded keeping her voice professional and not giving into his flirtations. Hearing her tone, Jack's tone immediately changed to match it. 

"Is everything alright?" Jack questioned once more picking up his pants. This time he put them on followed by his trousers. 

"Not really but I don't want to explain it over the phone. Please just come to the UNIT hospital and I will tell you everything when you get here," Martha answered. 

"I'll be there soon," Jack told her. He hung up the phone with her as he finished dressing. Picking up his coat and keys to his SUV, he hurried out the door to the lab where Ianto was still waiting for him to finish their game. "I am sorry, Ianto, but I have to go. That was Martha on the phone and I am needed at UNIT."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Ianto asked. Jack shook his head no. Stepping forward, he kissed Ianto softly on the lips. 

"I'll be back soon," he promised. Hurrying down the stairs, he ran out the door climbing into his SUV. Peeling out of the parking lot, he started the long drive up to UNIT.

-DW-

Martha hung up the phone with Jack before looking at her watch. On average it took just over three hours to drive from Torchwood to UNIT. Knowing Jack, though, he would be there in just under two hours. She looked down at the baby sleeping peacefully in his cot. He was innocent and blissfully unaware of the pain that his birth had caused and Martha was determined to keep it that way. He didn't need to know that his father had run because of his birth, nor did he realize that who was going to raise him had yet to be decided. What he needed was a home with parents who loved him and Martha hoped that she would be able to provide that for him until the Doctor came around. Wheeling the cot out of the abandoned room, she called for a nurse to clean it as she headed to her office. Opening the door, she found a bag sitting on the chair next to her desk. A quick glance revealed the blue star blankets that the Doctor had purchased for the child at her urging. She left the bag where it was as she took a seat. It seemed that she had just got situated with her work when her phone rang. She answered it quickly, not looking at the caller ID as she didn't want the ringing to disturb the sleeping baby as she leaned back in her chair.

"Hello?" Martha questioned.

"Martha it's Donna. I'm sorry to bother you but something is wrong with Spaceman. He just picked me up at my house and he was stumbling as he tried to walk. I wanted to help him to the medi-bay but he refused telling me he was fine. I was able to get him to his room instead and he collapsed on top of the blankets. I can't wake him Martha and I can't drive this thing or take him to a hospital," Donna fretted as she worried about her friend. Martha couldn't help her sigh of relief, however, over the fact that he had immediately gone to pick up his companion rather than continuing to explore the universe alone. 

"I know this going to sound like a weird request, giving the circumstances, but can you please check his lower abdomen and see if he has a bandage," Martha requested. There was a long pause before Donna answered her. 

"I see the bandage. Is he alright?" Donna questioned. 

"Yes and no. He just had surgery and I gave him a mild sedative because he is supposed to be resting, not running off in the TARDIS," Martha explained to Donna. 

"Dumbo," Donna sighed. "Do you want me to bring him back to UNIT?"

"I would but he will never forgive you if you do. As much as I hate to say it, he is safe aboard the TARDIS. She can monitor his vitals and inform you immediately if something changes. What he needs is to take it easy for the next few days, preferably on bed rest, eat and have his bandages changed when necessary. If you feel you can help with that, I would appreciate it, otherwise, I will ask you to bring him back to UNIT. No matter how much he will hate us for it," Martha responded. 

"I can change his bandages, I know how. I will also make him stay in bed whether he likes it or not," Donna answered.

"Thank you. And Donna, if you ever need help, I am only a phone call away. You can contact me day or night and I will help you as much as I can," Martha told her. 

"I will. Before you go, can I ask you what he had surgery for?" Donna questioned in concern. 

"I am afraid I can't tell you that. What I can tell you is that he needs to talk about it. He won't willingly open up, though, so you are going to have to be patient with him," Martha explained confusing Donna. They said their goodbyes and Martha disconnected the call. Despite still being irritated with the Doctor over the fact that he had chosen to run, she felt a little better that he was with Donna. She would watch over him and make sure that he was taken care of. Now she just needed to do the same for his son. Leaning forward, she started on her paperwork as she waited for Jack's arrival.


	13. Chapter 13

Martha spent the next couple of hours working while caring for the infant. She fed him for a second time as well as changed his nappy. She made sure that the lab had begun testing his blood, as she didn't know any medications she could safely give him nor if he was going to have any allergies. She wished silently that the Time Lord would have stuck around for a few more hours before his sudden departure, but beyond being able to run the test faster aboard the TARDIS he wouldn't have much more information. Martha cuddled the baby close humming absentmindedly as she continued to work. She was distracted by the little one in her arms, however, and soon gave up working. She moved so that she could look at the baby better, laying him on her legs. Now that he was clean it was easy to see that he had darker hair than the Doctor and had light blue skin along the edges of his fingers. Checking she also found the bluish skin along his toes. He began to fuss over the coolness of the room, so she wrapped him back up in his blanket as she cooed softly at him. She took him back into her arms, calming him down before placing him back in his cot. Turning back to her work, she once more tried to concentrate on her reports until she heard the phone ring. 

"Doctor Jones, there is a Captain Jack Harkness here at the gate," The security guard informed her. 

"I have been expecting him, go ahead and let him through," Martha responded. She glanced at the time to see that she was right and Jack had made it in just under two hours. 

"Yes, Ma'am," the guard responded. Martha hung up the phone while she waited for Jack to come up to her office. He had been to UNIT before so he was aware of where her office was without her having to go get him. 

"Come in," she called out hearing the knock on her door. 

"Martha Jones," Jack smiled as he came into the room. She got to her feet going around the desk to give him a hug. He wrapped his arms around her picking her up off of her feet. 

"It's good to see you," Martha laughed. He set her down flopping in the chair behind her desk. It was only then that he noticed the cot in her office. He leaned forward looking at the baby sleeping peacefully within. 

"I see you have a visitor. Aren't babies its age normally kept with the parents or in the nursery?" Jack questioned, lowering his voice. 

"Normally, yes, but I am keeping this child under observation due to special circumstances. He doesn't have any parents here and needs special formula," Martha answered. 

"Poor little guy," Jack cooed at the baby. 

"Yeah," Martha sighed. "I have him until I am able to find a permanent home. Which I am hoping will be soon."

"I would like to help you but I am sure you didn't call me here over one little baby," Jack told her. 

"Actually, he is the exact reason I called you here," Martha informed him. Jack looked up at her narrowing his eyes as he did. 

"Then I am afraid that you wasted your time. I don't have the time nor the resources to take care of a child," Jack replied starting to stand up. 

"Not even for the Doctor's child?" Martha questioned causing Jack to pause. 

"What do you mean the Doctor's child. I didn't think that the Doctor had sex," Jack wondered in surprise as he looked at the child again. The baby was only a few hours old at most making it hard for him to see any signs of the Doctor in the child. "Is he still here?"

"No. He is currently on the TARDIS with Donna. She will look after him but I need someone to look after this baby," Martha stated. 

"And you were hoping that it would be me," Jack concluded. 

"Actually, he was," Martha informed him as she picked up the two letters. Jack took the letters from her. He saw one with her name on it, and a second with his. He opened the one to him first reading it. 

*Jack,

I know that you and I have had our differences over the years, but you have always been there when I needed you the most and if you're reading this, I need you again. I'm sorry but I can't be this child's father right now. He doesn't have a name but I trust you to name him properly for me. Please, Jack, take him, love him and raise him as your own for me until I can be there for him as I promise one day I will return. 

The Doctor*

He took a deep breath before looking at the letter that was addressed to Martha. If anything it was shorter than the letter to him offering him no answers. 

*Martha,

I'm sorry but I can't do this. Please contact Jack for me. He has always been there for me in the past and I am hoping that he will be there for my child.*

"What does he mean that he can't be a father right now. Did something happen?" Jack questioned as he folded the letters and laid them down on the desk. 

"He didn't explain that in his letter?" Martha asked and Jack shook his head no. Martha paused wondering how much she should tell him. The Doctor had sworn her to secrecy while he was still pregnant but through his own letters, he had brought Jack into the fold. Still, it wasn't up to her to decided if Jack should know that the Doctor was raped. "For the last few months, I have been traveling with the Doctor while he was pregnant. It was obvious from the beginning that he wasn't happy with the pregnancy but he seemed to be coming around until the pain started. He was terrified of going into labor so I agreed to the c-section beforehand as he was having Braxton hicks contractions. I didn't think he would run but obviously, I was wrong. He wrote these letters and fled when he was supposed to be sleeping."

"He wrote these letters a few months back. The creases and wording suggest that they have been in his pocket awhile," Jack responded. He looked towards the sleeping child again. "How long does he have to stay here?"

"I want to keep him at least overnight for observation, but he will be released first thing in the morning," Martha answered. Jack stood up. 

"Then I have plenty of time. I will be back in a little while," Jack told her moving towards the door. 

"Where are you going?" Martha wondered. 

"Well if he is going to come live at Torchwood with me, he is going to need a car seat, cot, clothes, food, and blankets to start with," Jack replied. Martha smiled. 

"The Doctor already bought him blankets," Martha responded motioning towards the bag. Jack looked inside of it to see the blue blankets with stars on them. He should have known as the Doctor always did love the stars. Still, it gave him an idea of what he should be buying. Bidding Martha farewell, he left UNIT and headed to the store. 

-DW-

"Martha," The Doctor moaned pitifully as he woke. His stomach was hurting and he felt sick. All he wanted was a drink of water, painkiller, and then to fall back asleep. Without opening his eyes, he rubbed his face on the pillow before whining again. "Martha."

"She isn't here right now spaceman," Donna cooed softly as she came into his room, having been alerted by the TARDIS that the Doctor was awake. He pulled the blankets down, looking at her confused as he opened his eyes. 

"Donna?" He questioned. She sat down on the bed gently running her fingers through the hair beside his head. 

"Don't you remember running from Martha at UNIT before coming to pick me up?" Donna wondered. He furrowed his brow in confusion as he concentrated. He remembered clearly being in the hospital with his legs numbed as Martha cut his child out of his body. He knew that she gave him a sedative and he had pretended to be asleep until he got the chance to run. It was a little hazy as he ran to the TARDIS, stopping to drop off the letters. Then making a quick trip to Martha's office to drop off the blankets. He had barely made it back to the TARDIS as the sedatives threatened to force him off to sleep. The last thing he remembered was wanting Donna, he just didn't remember going to her home to get her. 

"Not really," He admitted. He reached out to catch the hand that she was running along the side of his head. "I'm happy you're here, though."

"Well somebody had to look after you since you decided you didn't need to be on bedrest after having surgery," Donna chastised him softly. She felt like yelling at him but there was no point until he was actually able to keep his eyes open. 

"Yeah. Thank you, Donna," the Doctor whispered. He looked at her with sad eyes. "Water?"

"Of course. I also need to change your bandages while you are awake," Donna told him. He furrowed his eyes again as a thought crossed his mind. 

"Did Martha leave painkillers?" He questioned. Donna rolled her eyes at him. Leaving the room a moment, she returned quickly with a glass of water and two pills. He took the pills from her swallowing them down. He watched her slightly amused as she changed the bandages seeing the staples holding the incision together. His eyes were heavy, though, and it was only after he started to drift off to sleep again that he wondered if Martha had told her what the surgery was for. Reminding himself to ask her later, he drifted back into his dreams.


	14. Chapter 14

Jack made it out to his SUV before the reality of what he had just agreed to hit him. He was going to be a father again, no matter how temporary, to the Doctor's son. He was going to have to deal with feedings, nappy changes, fussiness, teething, colds, and long nights with a baby who needed him for everything. He was taking on this responsibility while still living and running Torchwood without even resulting with the man that he was currently dating. Ianto liked children, though, and spent time with his niece and nephew whenever he had the chance. Yes, they had never discussed children due to the stress of their job, but he was hopeful that Ianto would be open to fostering the baby for awhile. Still sitting in his SUV, he pulled out his cellphone dialing Ianto's number.

"Hello," Ianto answered on the second ring. 

"Ianto. There has been a change of plans. I am going to be spending the night up here in London and heading back in the morning," Jack explained. 

"Is everything alright?" Ianto questioned, the concern clear in his voice. Even if Jack couldn't stay dead, he still worried about how reckless his lover could be. 

"I'm fine, and so is Martha," Jack responded. He took a deep breath before continuing. "She called me up here to ask me to take in a baby for a little while and I told her yes."

"You're going to raise a human child at Torchwood?" Ianto clarified.

"Not human no. The baby is alien and can't go to live safely at a foster home. I have agreed to take him in until which time his parent returns for him," Jack explained. He didn't tell Ianto that the child belonged to the Doctor as that would be a conversation for when they were together rather than over the phone. There was too much history as well as pain between him and the Doctor and Ianto only knew part of it. While he never hid the fact that he loved the Doctor from Ianto, he had always made it clear that the Doctor could never love him back. Ianto claimed that he understood but Jack still worried about Ianto saying no to caring for the baby just because it was the Doctors. 

"How long will that be?" Ianto asked him. 

"I don't know. I am on my way now to pick up a cot, clothes, and nappys" Jack responded. 

"He is also going to need food, creams, toys and blankets," Ianto reminded Jack. Jack couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. 

"He already has blankets and being that he isn't human, I am going to have to get with Martha to find out what rash creams and medicines I can safely use. She also has him on a special formula," Jack answered. 

"If he has special needs, are you sure you want to take him in. Wouldn't it be better if he stayed with Martha?" Ianto questioned. 

"Possibly, but I promise that I will explain everything once we get there," Jack responded. 

"Alright. I love you and I will see you tomorrow," Ianto told him. 

"I love you, too," Jack replied. Disconnecting the call, he felt a little better as he turned on the SUV. He used his phone to look up directions to the nearest baby supply store. Arriving, he looked around the place realizing that he was going to need a lot more than he original planned. He wasn't sure how long he ended up staying in the store as he bought nappys, clothes, bath toys, a bath, a carseat, cot, pram, bottles, pacifiers, and everything else he thought the baby might need. He put the seats down in the SUV, loading everything in the back. Realizing that he had nowhere to put the baby, he proceeded to unload the SUV and put the seat back up. He installed the car seat, putting the bags on the back seat and then the rest in the back. Making it fit, he drove back to UNIT.

-DW-

The Doctor woke up alone in his bedroom. He still felt sore and tired from the surgery earlier in the day, but he also felt more aware than the last time he woke. He remembered that he had left Martha behind at UNIT and that Donna was currently taking care of him. He wasn't sure where Donna had gone off to but he was grateful for her help earlier. She had changed his bandages and provided him with painkillers as well as water without question. Thinking of the water, he pulled his blankets down to see that she had left a pitcher of it beside his bed along with a full glass. He reached for the glass drinking it gratefully before setting the cup back on the bedside table. 

Settling back under the blankets, he ran his hand down his abdomen halting just before he reached the bandage. He could feel that his stomach was flatter than before but it would still take time until he had his lithe body back. Now that he was no longer pregnant, he didn't have to eat as much and hopefully the strange cravings he had would end. He could also take to running again. He would have to start slow but he had no doubts that he would be running again in no time. He wondered if his son would enjoy running as well. With the thought of his son, he paused. The baby was safe with Martha and it would only be a matter of time until he was with Jack. Jack would take care of him raising him properly. He had made the right decision to leave, so why did it hurt. 

He closed his eyes, trying to force his thoughts away from the baby. He thought of taking Donna to the white beaches of Chorn. She would love to see the purple water lapping against the sparkling sand. His son could play in the water and no, he stopped the thought as his son wouldn't be with him. He felt tears prickling his eyes. He couldn't stop the tears as they broke free as his mind focused on the baby that he chose to leave behind. It wasn't his son's fault that he had been conceived due to an act of hate, but the Doctor had still chosen to reject him. He had been a coward choosing to run rather than raising the baby. The tears broke free, rolling down his cheeks as he tried desperately to hold them back. Giving into the tears, he curled on his side wrapping himself around a pillow as he sobbed for his child.


	15. Chapter 15

The Doctor wasn't sure how long he laid crying before Donna came into his room. He didn't look at her as she came over to the bed standing beside it. 

"What's the matter, spaceman?" she questioned him softly. He didn't answer her as he continued to sob. "Are you in pain? If you are you don't have to suffer. I can get you more painkillers if you need them or contact Martha." He shook his head no the best he could as he buried it further into his pillow. She didn't say anything else as she climbed up on the bed sitting down beside him, running her fingers through the hair behind his ear. If anything the comforting gesture just made him cry harder and he held his pillow tighter as he sobbed. She cooed at him softly, making gentle shushing not questioning him further. Not that he would have been able to answer her anyway with how hard he was crying.

He didn't remember falling asleep, but he awoke several hours later to find that Donna was laying in the bed with him. She hadn't bothered to change into her pajamas as it was obvious that she didn't want to leave him alone after finding him crying. While he appreciated her offering him comfort last night, he really just wanted to be alone. Sitting up running his hands down his face, then up to his hair. What he needed was a shower and a hot cup of tea in order to feel like himself again and hopefully begin to put this mess behind him. Getting carefully out of bed, he stumbled his way sleepily to the medi-bay first. The Tardis hummed at him comfortingly blowing warm air on him. He patted the wall in affection as he made his way over to the medicine cabinet. He pulled out his bottle of painkillers, taking two of them before finding a waterproof bandage to put over his incision. Removing the old bandage, he could see the staples Martha used to close the wound. He felt sick knowing that he would carry the scar from the birth for the rest of the time he was in this body. Covering it quickly, he went as fast as he dared to the shower. 

Climbing into the warm water, he stood there letting it run down his body. It relaxed his muscles, and he felt the tension leaving his body. Picking up the washcloth, he proceeded to turn his skin as red as possible along his bottom, groin, and stomach. It didn't matter that he had given birth to the child finally, he still felt tainted from the man touching his body and only the red skin gave him relief. He washed his hair and the rest of his body before getting out of the shower. For a brief moment, he thought about dressing in his suit but he didn't feel up to it and knew that Donna wouldn't judge him for wandering around in his night trousers. He pulled them on, then made his way to the kitchen. He had just finished making himself a cup of tea when Donna appeared in the doorway. 

"For your sake, I really hope I am dreaming as I don't think you are stupid enough to be wandering the TARDIS when you are supposed to be on bedrest," Donna informed him crankily. He knew better than to argue her before she had her first cup of coffee but that didn't stop him. 

"I don't need to be in bed," The Doctor explained to her as he reached for a banana. 

"So you didn't just have surgery yesterday?" Donna questioned him. 

"I'm fine," The Doctor snipped. 

"Do you want me to call Martha and see if she agrees with her decision?" Donna wondered her voice matching his tone. He narrowed his eyes at her but she continued before he could reply. "Or do you want to discuss what had you so distraught last night that you couldn't even speak with me?"

"Drop it, Donna," The Doctor practically yelled at her. 

"Then get back to bed where you belong," Donna did shout. The Doctor didn't even think of ignoring her. Picking up his tea and banana he made his way out of the kitchen towards his bedroom. She watched him going hearing him mumble under his breath about stupid apes and how he was better than them. He didn't dare say it loudly, though, knowing that she wouldn't hesitate to hit him for calling her a stupid ape. He went into the door that belonged to his room, slamming the door loudly behind him. Satisfied that he would climb into his bed to sulk for awhile, Donna went back into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee as she considered what to make the two of them for breakfast. 

-DW-

Jack stayed at UNIT for the night, watching the baby as Martha slept. He wasn't new to caring for an infant as he had children of his own. It had been awhile though, so he was thankful for the time he was able to spend with Martha before he took the infant back to Torchwood. He still wasn't sure to name the child, even if he did have several ideas. Rather than settle on a name, however, he decided to wait until he was able to speak to Ianto to see if he wanted to help name the child they would be raising together. At least until the Doctor returned. If the Doctor returned, Jack amended knowing that he might be raising the child for a few days or until he was an adult living on his own. Either way, he would keep the baby safe for the Doctor. 

It was early the next morning, that he loaded the car seat into the back of the SUV. The baby was released to him with a clean bill of health along with a fresh nappy and a full stomach. Jack hoped silently that he would sleep the entire way back to Torchwood as he drove the speed limit down the freeway. He didn't drive recklessly, use the blue lights or swerve around other cars as he had to think about the innocent life in the backseat. He didn't get his wish, as he had to stop several times to tend to the baby. While he was used to getting to and from London in about two hours, it took him just over four before he finally made it back to Torchwood. Relieved, he took the car seat out of the back, along with the bag of formula Martha gave him as he made his way into the hub. 

"Welcome back, sir," Ianto greeted him as he made his way in. 

"Is that a baby?" Gwen questioned from her chair. Tosh looked up from her computer, seeing Jack holding the car seat. The little boy was sleeping soundly with his head sticking out of a gray starry blanket. Tosh gasped as she made her way over with Gwen. 

"Where did you find him?" Tosh wondered as they approached. Jack set the car seat down on the ground allowing them to get closer. 

"Martha called me to UNIT due to his birth. He is going to be staying with us at Torchwood until his father returns." Jack explained to his team. 

"You can't keep a baby at Torchwood. It isn't safe. Not only do we have Myfawny roosting overhead but we have a weevil in the cells," Gwen argued outraged that Jack was planning on keeping the baby at the hub. 

"I would like to see a safer place for a baby beside Torchwood if he can't live on the TARDIS. On top of that, I have been specifically asked to raise this child as my own for this child by my friend and I plan to do exactly that. Also, being that I live at the hub, I really don't have another choice. So if you aren't going to offer me any useful advice, I suggest you get back to work," Jack snipped at her slightly irritated. 

"Can I hold him?" Tosh asked ignoring Jack and Gwen's argument. 

"Of course," Jack responded. Tosh happily took the baby out of the car seat, cooing at him as she carried him over to her desk. Gwen crossed her arms as she made her way to her own desk, huffing loudly she flopped down beginning to work. 

"So, he is the Doctor's son?" Ianto questioned his voice barely over a whisper. Jack looked at him with surprise that he had figured it out. "You mentioned the baby was part alien and just now you told Gwen that the TARDIS was a safe place to keep the baby."

"You're right, he is the Doctor's baby. I don't know why the Doctor can't be a father to him at the moment but I was hoping that you would help me raise him until the Doctor returns," Jack told his lover. Ianto looked over at the innocent baby in Tosh's arms. He loved children and while he knew of Jack's love for the Doctor, he didn't resent the man for it nor was he jealous of the Doctor. 

"Gwen's right you know, my flat would be a better place to raise him in," Ianto responded. Jack smiled. 

"Just don't tell her that," he laughed. Wrapping his arms around Ianto, he hugged him tightly. Ianto held him just as close for a moment, before breaking away. Going over to Tosh, he carefully took the baby from her. Cuddling him close he went up to Jack's office while Jack retrieved the items he bought from the SUV. For now, they would stay at the hub and hopefully soon set up a room for him at Ianto's. Ianto offered to help him as he saw Jack make several trips, but Jack declined letting him spend time with the infant. Finishing, he flopped down in the chair across from his desk next to Ianto. Raising his arm, he wrapped his arm around Ianto's shoulder as Ianto stared at the baby.

"So does he have a name or do we have to keep calling him the baby," Ianto questioned. 

"I was hoping that you would help me to name him," Jack explained. Ianto looked at Jack out of the corner of his eyes. 

"I've always liked the name Conner," Ianto answered him. Jack smiled kissing Ianto on the head and then kissed the infant. 

"What do you think, Conner?" Jack asked him softly. The little boy made a small grunting noise and both of them laughed. "Conner it is."


	16. Chapter 16

Donna made herself a cup of coffee, drinking it as she wandered the kitchen. The Doctor like normal had little to no food aboard the TARDIS. She did find eggs, a bag of chips and the ingredients to make custard as well as maple syrup. Not sure what he had been eating in her absence, she decided to make a simple breakfast of eggs and toast. She grabbed an extra banana for him and made him another cup of tea. Placing everything on a tray, she took it to his room. Opening the door, she found him sitting on his bed. He was scowling as he stared at the wall in front of him. He also wasn't paying attention to what he was doing as he flipped the sonic screwdriver. 

"I made you breakfast," Donna informed him as she entered his room. He didn't answer her as he continued to pout. Donna wasn't deterred as she made her way over to his bed placing the tray across his lap. The Doctor didn't look at the food as he used his free hand to flip the tray onto the floor. Donna reacted immediately, swinging her hand to connect with his arm. That finally got a reaction from him as he turned his head to look at her with all the anger of the oncoming storm.

"Get off of my TARDIS," He told her, his voice deathly calm. Donna crossed her arms as she stared right back at him. 

"No," she replied firmly.

"Now, Donna," The Doctor snipped. 

"I said no. Now I don't know what has gotten into you lately, spaceman, but I am not someone you can just order around like a child. Now you have a choice, you can either sit here and sulk while you talk to me about what is bothering you or we can go back to the kitchen where you will make me a new breakfast while you talk to me about what is bothering you," Donna yelled at him.

"I thought you said I had to stay in bed," He reminded her sarcastically. 

"That was until you ruined my meal," Donna snipped back. The Doctor nodded slowly as he considered her words. He stood up, not looking at her as he made his way to his ensuite. Following him, Donna put her foot in the doorway, not allowing him to shut her out again. "Would it really be so bad to just talk to me for once about what is bothering you rather than trying to hide? I know you are hurting, Doctor. I've known it for months now and I understand why you decided to talk to Martha rather than me. I'm nothing important. I don't have a medical degree or work for UNIT but I thought I was your friend." 

Donna didn't miss the way the storm faded from his eyes replacing it with such pain and loss that it made her wonder how he could pull himself out of bed each day. He ran his hand to his stomach resting it just above his abdomen as he continued to hold onto the door tightly with his other hand. He looked past her for a moment, to focus on the food laying on the floor where he had thrown it without even thinking about how Donna was just trying to look out for him. She knew that he had surgery the day before on his abdomen and was worried about him because she didn't know why. He couldn't tell her about the little boy he had left with Martha, though. She had always wanted children and to know that he gave up his own child would devastate her. She would leave him and he couldn't lose her the way he lost all his other companions. 

"You are my friend, Donna and I'm sorry. I will make you another breakfast," The Doctor told her softly as he stepped out of the ensuite. He flinched as Donna wrapped her arms tightly around him being careful of his abdomen. 

"Don't be a dunce," Donna informed him as he wrapped his arms around her. He was confused as he laid his head down on top of Donna's but that was a normal feeling when he was with her. He held her silently for a long moment, just enjoying being held. When she finally broke away, he moved to the side of his bed cleaning up the mess that he made. She helped him silently throwing everything into the bin. Once the food was cleaned up, he made his way out to the control room. He didn't say anything as he piloted the TARDIS to just outside of a small store in Cardiff. Donna went shopping, buying food that they needed to make several meals as he stood in the doorway looking in the general direction of the Plass. He couldn't help but wonder if Jack had returned to Cardiff yet with his son. He could go there anytime he wanted to check on his baby, only he didn't. Not yet.

When Donna returned, he helped her take the groceries to the kitchen, then put the food away. After she made him go sit in the living area. He relaxed on the couch as she took care of him, preparing his meals and making sure that he took his medications on time. She tried to talk to him several times about his abdomen, but he changed the subject or ignored her. Finally, late into the evening, Donna retired for the night leaving him alone. He waited until she was really asleep before returning to the control room. From where he was parked in Cardiff, it was a short jump to the hub where Jack was located. He wasn't sure where in the hub his child was located, but a quick scan found that his baby was sleeping in an upper room while Jack had gone to the room below it. Placing the TARDIS on silent as he didn't want to alert Jack to his arrival, he moved the TARDIS to what turned out to be Jack's office. Exiting, he went over to the cot where his son was sleeping soundly. 

"I'm sorry, little one," he whispered in Gallifreyan as he stared down at his son. Reaching out with his hand shaking, he placed his fingers on the side of the baby's head gently stroking his hair. He smiled as his son sighed in his sleep smacking his lips. Hearing movement behind him, he hurried to his TARDIS closing the door behind him. He quickly sent her into the vortex, before collapsing on the Captain's chair. 

-DW-

Jack and Ianto spent the day working as they took care of the infant. They had plenty help from Tosh and Gwen. It seemed like every time Conner was laid down in his car seat for even a moment, he ended up in someone else's arms. Not that Jack minded as he was happy that his small group took quickly to the baby despite Gwen's initial unhappiness at his arrival. As night began to fall, the team slowly left until it was just Jack and Ianto at the hub with Conner. Ianto fed the child, changing his nappy and making him comfortable while Jack assembled the cot. Once it was completed, Ianto laid the baby down staring down at him. 

"What do you think about trying to make our own?" Jack questioned Ianto as he came up behind him. 

"I can't get pregnant sir," Ianto reminded him. 

"Doesn't hurt to try," Jack laughed as he picked Ianto up. He carried him over to the ladder, setting him down. Ianto scurried down it and after a moment Jack followed. Listening for any noises from his office above him, he began to explore Ianto's body with the intent of trying to impregnate him. He paused in his exploration as he thought he heard movement above them. 

"Is something the matter sir?" Ianto panted. 

"I thought I heard something," Jack whispered. He listened closely but he didn't hear it again. Still worried, he got quickly out of bed heading up the ladder. Entering his office, he found Conner sleeping peacefully. A few of the papers from his desk had somehow landed on the floor but other than that there was nothing amiss. Still, something didn't feel right. Abandoning his plans on exploring Ianto's body, he took a seat at his desk pulling up the CCTV footage. He started it at the time that he had come to his office with Ianto. Fast forwarding he hit play as the TARDIS appeared in the hub. He watched as the Doctor came out of the TARDIS in just a pair of trousers. His hair was a mess and his stomach was bright red. He went over to the cot, staring at his son with sadness in his eyes as he gently placed his hand on his head. Hearing Jack, he hurried back to the TARDIS, closing the door behind him. Feeling better that Conner was safe, but confused about why the Doctor didn't stay, Jack leaned back in his chair as he watched the footage for the second time. 

"Problem sir?" Ianto questioned as he came up the ladder after Jack failed to return. 

"No," Jack responded turning off the screen before Ianto could see it. "Let's go back to bed." 

"Are you sure?" Ianto wondered. Jack stood up quickly, moving towards Ianto. Laughing Ianto ran towards the ladder as Jack gave chase.


	17. Chapter 17

It was almost a week later when he returned to UNIT for a brief visit with Martha. While he had lowered his dose of painkiller, his abdomen was still bothering him. He also wanted the staples removed from the incision but couldn't bring himself to take them out. He tried to drop Donna off at her mum's house for a few hours while he visited Martha, but she refused to leave forcing him to bring her with him. At least she agreed to give him his privacy as he went into a separate examination room with Martha. He didn't look at her as he pulled his shirt off, laying it on the chair next to the bed before laying down on it. He stared at the far wall as she pulled on a pair of gloves.

"I take it you still haven't talked to Donna about what the surgery was for," Martha questioned him as she carefully removed the bandage from his red stomach. She was worried about the fact that he continued to punish his body for carrying the child to term. Talking to Donna would help him deal with the pain but he was determined to hide it from her. 

"No," The Doctor answered simply.

"Doctor," Martha started. 

"Don't Doctor me. It is my body and my choice about who I tell," The Doctor interrupted her. Martha sighed.

"I'm not going to try to force you to talk to Donna even if I think it is for the best. She can help you deal with what happened to your body and maybe even come to terms with the fact that you have a son now. I know you are having a hard time accepting him but have you been to see him since you gave birth?" Martha questioned him. The Doctor rolled his eyes at the wall, still not looking at her as he stood up. He reached for his shirt starting to pull it on. "Alright, enough of that"

"Are we done talking about him?" The Doctor questioned softly. 

"Yes," She responded. He paused with putting his shirt as he considered her request. "Doctor, I promise that we won't talk about your son anymore or your reluctance to talk to Donna. Now please lay back down so I can check your incision and remove the staples." He took his shirt back off laying down quietly on the table as once more he returned his attention to the wall. She checked the incision on his abdomen seeing that the staples could come out finally. She carefully removed them cutting through each staple. He tried to run as the last staple was taken out, but Martha made him continue to sit there as she gave him a top to bottom examination. He was extremely unhappy with her as removed his trousers so that she could check the redness on his bottom and genitals. He hated how every time she examined him she would humiliate him by checking on the rash. It didn't stop him from scrubbing his body for hours for just a moment of relief and Martha couldn't help but notice that his skin was raw as ever. It had to be painful to touch, but he didn't complain. 

"Doctor, I know that you don't want to talk to Donna or me about what happened to you being that we're your friends. I understand that you don't like getting that close to anyone and while you talk all the time you hardly say anything. That being said, I think you would benefit from talking to somebody, I even have the perfect person in mind. He has worked for UNIT for years and he is well adapted in helping soldiers who have been through a traumatic event or suffer from PTSD," Martha suggested.

"You mean a psychiatrist," The Doctor clarified. 

"Yes," Martha answered. 

"No ta," The Doctor responded. 

"Rather than just dismissing me, would you please just think about it," Martha requested. The Doctor turned his head so that he could glare at her. 

"If it gets you to shut up then fine I will think about it," The Doctor snipped at her crankily. 

"Don't just agree with me to appease me," Martha argued him. 

"Fine, then no I won't talk to no bloody psychiatrist," He informed her. Standing up quickly he reached for his clothes pulling them on.

"Doctor," Martha tried. He ignored her as he finished pulling his trousers on and picked up his shirt. He practically ran as he made his way across the hall and back into her office. Opening the TARDIS doors, he went up the ramp straight to the handbrake. 

"I take the appointment didn't go well," Donna asked. He glared at her as he sent them into the vortex and away from UNIT. She watched on worriedly as he rushed out of the control room. He was breaking. She could see it in his eyes, even as he glared at her that there was an overwhelming sadness just below the surface. He had suffered from depression in the past and she had no doubt that he was slipping further into a depressive state as she tried desperately to help him. She just hoped that he allowed someone to catch him when he finally did fall.


	18. Chapter 18

Donna spent the day alone, not seeing the Doctor again as he remained hidden in his room and away from prying eyes. He spent time in the shower, reinforcing the redness of his skin making sure to wash away all the feeling of Martha's hands. He had always craved touch in this body and while he still wanted his hand to be held or a simple hug, he wished that she would stop touching his skin below his clothing. He paused in his scrubbing as red water joined the clear water circling the drain. Looking down at his abdomen, he saw that the frail skin on his incision was bleeding. Swearing, he stepped out of the shower. He wandered naked over to his medicine cabinet pulling out a clean waterproof bandage. He placed it over the incision, then returned to his shower. Only when his skin was bright red and sore to the touch, did he finally feel clean enough to leave the shower and return to his room.

When night fell, he followed the same routine that he had for the last week. Landing the TARDIS on the Cardiff rift, he scanned the hub finding his son located in the room below Jack like normal. Ever since the first night, his child had been located in what he quickly figured out was Jack's room. He never saw Jack but was thankful that he was willing to give him a moment with his child. Resetting the coordinates, he quickly landed in the small room. Exiting, he hurried over to the cot where his baby was laying. He had his eyes open and his face scrunched. The Doctor reached out for him, but couldn't bring himself to hold his child. He ran his hand comfortingly along the child's head trying to calm him. 

"I know little one," he cooed softly. He paused as he heard Jack's footsteps approaching the hatch. His mind raced as he tried to figure out why Jack was interrupting his time with his baby. Jack had always just left him alone until he was ready to leave after interrupting the first night and now he was taking that away. Confused, he rushed back to the TARDIS and was gone before Jack was able to enter the room. As soon as he was safely back into the vortex, he collapsed down against the console with tears streaming down his face. 

He grew angrier and quieter over the next few days as Jack continuously ruined his time with his son. A part of him knew that Jack just wanted to talk to him but he didn't want to see Jack. So instead of facing him, he took his anger out on Donna. He ignored her when she tried to speak with him or snipped at her over little things. She didn't deserve it but she stood by him, refusing to let him travel alone. Deep down he was grateful even if he couldn't find the words to tell her. 

"Why don't we go somewhere to relax?" Donna asked him softly one morning. He glared at her from over the console. 

"If you want to relax, I can take you home," The Doctor offered snidely. Donna narrowed her eyes. 

"I'm not the one who needs to relax. Ever since we went to visit Martha you have been a pain in the arse. I have been trying to be patient with you Spaceman because I know something is bothering you but I didn't agree to travel with you just so that you could take your anger out on me. I am your friend and I expect you to start acting like it," Donna yelled at him. He lowered his eyes feeling sorry for his actions. Donna was right, she didn't deserve the pain that he was causing her. She already felt that she was nothing special and couldn't understand why he had chosen her. Once again he was reinforcing those feelings rather than helping her. 

"I'm sorry. You're right Donna, I haven't been feeling myself lately and your right we should go somewhere relaxing. There is a library that is the size of a planet that I have always wanted to visit. What do you say we go spend the afternoon there?" He offered. He smiled at her, the smile not reaching his eyes. 

"Only if we can go to a spa afterward," Donna responded with a smile of her own. The Doctor crossed both his hearts before setting the coordinates and sending them on their way. 

-DW-

Jack sighed loudly as he entered his room to find that once more the Doctor had chosen to run rather than talk to him. Just like every other night for almost two weeks now, he watched the Doctor on the CCTV as he spent time with his child. He had been content to allow the Doctor to have that alone time but he was planning on moving Conner to Ianto's flat soon. He didn't want to hide Conner from his birth father as it was obvious the Doctor needed their time together but unless the Doctor stopped for a moment he wasn't going to be able to talk to him. Leaning down he picked up the sleeping baby. Carrying him over to his bed, he sat down turning so that he could lean against the pillows as he cuddled him close. 

"I'm sorry, Conner. I know you are too little to understand why he keeps running and it took me the longest time to understand that he has to. One day I will tell you about how he saves people and why he chose to leave you with me and Ianto in order to keep you safe," Jack cooed. Conner stretched in his sleep, not hearing what Jack was telling him. Jack kissed him softly on the head. He loved the little boy already and while he hoped that one day the Doctor would return permanently for his child, he knew that it would break his heart. He had only had Conner a short time and he was already thinking about when the baby was older. He would teach him how to fish while they camped. He would take him to Steven's football games and instill a love of running. He had no doubt that his son would be smart and Ianto was a good teacher. He would be patient with the baby helping him with his school work.

"Even if the Doctor does take you away from me, I will always be your uncle Jack and look out for you. Just like I look out for him," Jack promised. Standing up, he carried Conner up the ladder with him as he set out to make a bottle and find himself dinner.


	19. Chapter 19

The library had been a mistake. Rather than the relaxing time that he had promised Donna, he instead ended up having to save everyone from the Vashta Narada before watching a woman sacrifice herself to save him. River had known his real name and one day he would find out how she came to be his wife. He wasn't sure how he would be able to give his hearts over to her knowing that she was going to end up in the library. Donna had also lost someone that day a man that she had created to love her in the computer simulation. Even if her lover hadn't been real, it had felt real to her and she was just as devastated as him over the loss. He couldn't help her as he was having trouble processing his own feelings. He had promised her a spa, but instead, he took her back to her mum's house so that she could be comforted by her grandfather. He had gone to seek his own comfort from his child, yet as he arrived on the rift he found something was different. 

"No, no, no," The Doctor cried out as the scan returned negative. His hearts pounded in his chest as he ran the scan again. Still, there was no sign of his son or of the man who cared for him. He couldn't stop the tears that ran down his face as he collapsed back onto the captain's chair. He tried to think logically about why Jack wasn't there. It was possible that Jack took his son out for the night to another location. They would be back, though, they had to be back. He wiped the tears away with the back of his hand as he forced himself to stand. Through misty eyes, he reset the time to the next night returning to the hub. Once more he found the hub devoid of the two people he was looking for. He sent himself back into the vortex as he stumbled his way to his room. Collapsing onto his bed, he buried his face in his pillow sobbing for his son. He wasn't sure how long he stayed there until he was finally able to force himself back to the control room. Only to find they were still gone. Not sure what else to do, he reset the coordinates to UNIT.

"Finally," Martha whispered to herself as the Doctor came stumbling out of the TARDIS. His face was drenched in tears and his eyes were bloodshot. While she didn't like seeing her friend so upset, she was relieved that the dam had finally broken. She took a step forward in order to comfort him but he immediately took a step back. 

"I can't find my baby," he stuttered as he sniffled loudly. 

"What do you mean you can't find your baby, isn't he at the hub with Jack?" Martha questioned in concern. The Doctor shook his hand no. "I'm sure there is just a misunderstanding then Doctor. I will call Jack for you and find out where he and Conner are staying."

"He named him Conner," The Doctor sobbed louder. Martha sighed as she tried not to chuckle at his unhappiness over the name. Picking up the phone on her desk, she dialed Jack's cellphone number. 

"Captain Jack Harkness," Jack answered as he opened the phone without looking at the caller ID. 

"Hello, Jack," Martha responded. 

"Martha, how can I help you this evening," Jack wondered with a slight flirtatious tone. 

"I was just calling to find out your location as I have a very distraught Time Lord here who is wondering where his son is since your not at the hub," Martha explained. 

"I didn't mean to upset him. I left him a note in my room letting him know that we have relocated to Ianto's house at night," Jack answered. 

"Doctor, it's all right. Jack just took Conner to Ianto's flat," Martha informed the Doctor. 

"I don't know where that is," The Doctor cried. Martha took out a pen and a piece a paper writing it down for the Doctor as she got the address from Jack. She watched as the Doctor hurried back onto the TARDIS before returning to her conversation with Jack.

"He looks a mess, Jack. I don't think he has slept or ate properly in days. I considered trying to keep him at UNIT, but he obviously needs his son at the moment and isn't going to calm down until he sees him," Martha informed the Captain. 

"Don't worry, Martha, I'll look after him," Jack promised. 

"Thank you, Jack. He has been through a lot lately and he refuses to talk to me anymore or Donna. If you can get him to talk to you, I would really appreciate it. Also, if he is there for a few days make sure you watch him when he showers. Don't let him stay in it too long alone or he has the tendency to rub his skin raw," Martha told him. 

"I'll remember that. I have to go now as he is here but I'll update you soon," Jack answered.

"Good luck," Martha responded as she disconnected the call. Jack watched on as the blue box materialized in the middle of Ianto's living room. He was going to have to move it later but for now, he was just thankful the Doctor was there. As the door opened, he could immediately see Martha's worry about their friend as the Doctor stumbled out. He looked around the small flat, his eyes focusing on Ianto who was sitting on the couch feeding the infant a bottle. 

"You named him Conner," the Doctor sobbed as he started to collapse. Jumping to his feet, Jack rushed around the table catching the Doctor as he fell. He held the Doctor to his chest as the Doctor gripped his shirt. He cried deep heartbreaking sobs, unable to talk as Jack ran his hand along his back soothing him. 

"You're alright," Jack cooed. He picked the Doctor up in his arms, carrying him towards the bedroom that he shared with Ianto. 

"My baby," The Doctor whimpered. 

"Conner will still be here when you wake up, but right now you need to rest Doc," Jack whispered soothingly. The Doctor didn't fight as Jack took him into the bedroom, setting him down on the large bed. The Doctor allowed Jack to remove his shoes and his overshirts exposing the red skin on his stomach. Jack was thankful that Martha had warned him about the rash but it was still hard to see. He didn't comment on it as he climbed up on the bed with the Doctor, taking him once more in his arms as he helped him to lay back on the bed. He held the Doctor facing his chest, using one leg to pin the Doctor in place. He ran his hand soothingly along the Doctor's back, continuing to make gentle shushing noises as the Time Lord finally let go. Jack held him until long after the Doctor sobbing slowed and he drifted off to sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

Once Jack was sure that the Doctor was sleeping soundly, he carefully extracted himself from his arms. The Doctor whimpered at the loss of warmth but it was quickly remedied as Jack place a pillow in his arms. He covered the Doctor with the thick blanket Ianto kept on his bed pulling it up to his neck. Turning out the lights on the way out of the room, he found Ianto still sitting on the couch snuggling with the now sleeping infant. Jack sat down next to them wrapping an arm around Ianto's shoulders and pulling him close. 

"How is he?" Ianto wondered softly. 

"He is currently sleeping but I will try to talk to him once he wakes up. I'm sorry and I didn't think before I brought him to your bed. I just knew that I couldn't put him on the TARDIS or I would wake up to find him gone," Jack explained. 

"I understand. He is fine sleeping there for the night," Ianto informed him. He turned his head kissing Jack softly on the lips. They kissed long and slow a moment. Breaking the kiss Ianto laid his head down on Jack's shoulder turning his head so that he could watch the telly. Jack leaned his head against Ianto's just enjoying a quiet moment with his family but soon it was interrupted by a scream from the bedroom. Ianto pulled back, his heart pounding as Jack jumped to his feet. Running into the bedroom to find the Doctor thrashing on the bed in the midst of a nightmare. Climbing up on the bed, he took the Doctor into his arms again. The Doctor screamed again clawing Jack's chest as he tried to get away. 

"You're alright, Doctor. It's just a nightmare and I promise that you're safe," Jack cooed running his fingers through his hair as he once more used his leg to pin the Doctor against him. The Doctor's screaming went quiet as he breathed in Jack's unique scent. Sniffling, he rubbed his face against Jack's chest as his fingers gripped Jack's shirt holding him in place. 

"Is it safe to come in?" Ianto questioned as he appeared in the doorway. Jack nodded and Ianto came in carrying Conner. He laid him in the cot that was now set up in his room. Going to his dresser he changed into a pair of sleeping trousers before climbing up on the bed behind Jack. Snuggling up against Jack's back, he put his arm around him to hold him close as he leaned up. 

"I love you," Jack whispered kissing Ianto softly goodnight. 

"I love you, too," Ianto responded quietly. Laying back, he held his lover as the two of them joined the Doctor in his rest. 

-DW-

The Doctor woke early in the morning. He left his eyes closed as he lay snuggled against Jack's chest. He normally didn't like to be held in place or restrained as it meant danger and possibly pain. With Jack, however, it made him feel safe. He thought briefly about getting out of bed and running to the TARDIS but he didn't want to. He didn't want to stay either and as much as he wanted to be alone, he wanted the company as well. He sighed as he came to the conclusion that he didn't know what he wanted and hadn't known for a long time. He had been running for so long that it felt nice just to stop for a moment and spend time with Jack, Ianto, and his son. Thinking of Conner, he lifted his head looking for him. He could see him out of the corner of his eye in a cot and he tried to roll over for a better look. Jack held him tightly in place causing him to fight to move. Loosening his grip, Jack allowed him to roll so that his back was to Jack's chest. Jack's arms immediately tightened again and the Doctor resigned himself to being stuck in bed as he stared over at the cot. He could barely see his child over the side of the cot and that upset him. Last night when he came to the flat all he had wanted to do was spend time with his child but Jack had taken that decision away from him by forcing him to bed. Whimpering he squirmed in Jack's arms desperately trying to get out of them so that he could go to his baby. 

"Shhh," Jack shushed him gently.

"Let me go," The Doctor whined pulling roughly on Jack's arm. Jack released him and the Doctor sat up quickly in the bed. He heard Ianto groan and looked over to see Ianto pulling the blankets up higher as he turned to face the wall. Jack sat up in bed with him as the Doctor turned his attention towards the cot. 

"How are you feeling this morning?" Jack wondered softly. The Doctor shook his head. He didn't react as Jack reached up gently brushing the hair behind his ear. "You had everybody worried last night."

"I'm sorry," The Doctor finally responded. 

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you by moving Conner to where you couldn't find him. I should have found a better way to tell you then a note in my room when you refused to talk to me," Jack informed him. The Doctor looked over at Jack with a sadness in his eyes.

"I shouldn't have ran from you. I wasn't thinking clearly," the Doctor admitted. 

"Well your here now and that is what matters. Maybe after Ianto goes to work the two of us can discuss why you ran," Jack suggested. The Doctor shrugged. 

"Maybe," he responded. 

"In the meantime, how about a nice cup of tea and a banana?" Jack offered. 

"Yeah," The Doctor whispered. Jack carefully got out of bed being careful not to wake Ianto as he had been up and down most of the night with Conner. Jack had offered to get the baby at one point but Ianto had declined as he didn't want the Doctor to start screaming from his nightmares again. As Jack headed towards the door he heard the Doctor speak up again. "I also need my pills."

"Are they still in your medicine cabinet?" Jack wondered and the Doctor nodded. Jack left the room heading towards the TARDIS. He knew all about the Doctor's energy pill from the year they spent together on the Valiant. The Master had taken great pleasure in denying the Doctor his medication causing the Doctor to have headaches that made him sensitive to both light and sound. Jack spent many days unable to help the Time Lord as he was thrown at his feet in the broiler room. The Doctor had taken what little comfort he could by wrapping himself around Jack's legs and covering his eyes and ears. 

"I'm up," Ianto moaned as Conner started to cry his unhappiness wanting his morning bottle as well as a nappy change. The Doctor watched as Ianto stumbled sleepily out of the bed going straight to the infant's cot. Picking Conner up in his arms, he carried him over to the bed laying him down on the end of it. He changed his nappy and sleeper wrapping him in a clean blanket. "Do you want to hold him while I make his bottle?"

"No," The Doctor answered. Ianto looked at him with confusion but started towards the door with the little boy causing the Doctor to panic. "Don't take him." Ianto came back over with the child offering him to the Doctor. The Doctor didn't know how to respond as he had never held the baby before. Ianto put Conner in one arm, using his other hand to lift the Doctor's hands. Carefully he moved his baby so that the Doctor was helping to hold him. The Doctor lifted his other arm supporting Conner's head as Ianto gently pulled away, leaving himself within reaction distance just in case. He watched on as the Doctor held him out for a moment before finally bringing him close to his chest. 

He looked in wonder at his son as he held him for the first time. Conner's skin was cooler than his and he leaned down breathing in his unique scent of milk and lotion. Moving the blanket he could see the baby had blue around the tips of his fingers as well as dark brown hair. It was the only indication that he was part Crespallion as the rest of his features reminded him of the Doctor's own current face. He ran his finger's carefully across Conner's temple feeling the little mind reach out to his. He pulled away as he looked into the baby's eyes. Conner was a touch telepath just like him and he needed to bond in order for him to grow properly. He couldn't bring himself to bond, though, not yet and he felt guilty as he thought of asking Jack to bond with his son after asking him to raise the baby. Fixing Conner's blanket, he brought his son to his chest holding him close as once more he began to cry. 

"I'm sorry," He whispered over and over again to his child. He barely noticed as Jack returned to the room climbing up on the bed again with him. 

"Here take these. They will make you feel better," Jack told him softly as he put a couple of pills in the Doctor's hand. Jack was relieved as the Doctor barely looked at the pills placing them in his mouth. He trusted that Jack wasn't going to poison him and therefore didn't notice the small white depression pill that Jack had placed under the vitamins and energy pill. Jack held the cup of tea for the Doctor allowing him to take a large drink of it washing the pills down. Setting the cup down on the nightstand, he held the Doctor close to him until he calmed down. He didn't look at Jack as he gently moved Conner so that Jack could take him. 

"He needs his bottle," The Doctor informed Jack his voice hoarse from crying. 

"You can feed him if you want to," Jack offered as he took the little boy. The Doctor shook his head no, laying down he tucked himself into the strange bed staring at the wall. Jack left his side for only a moment as he went to retrieve a bottle for Conner. Returning he sat back down by the Doctor's side content to spend the day in bed with him.


	21. Chapter 21

The Doctor lay quietly while Jack fed Conner his bottle. He could hear Jack cooing softly over the baby so eventually, his curiosity got the best of him and he rolled so that he could watch Jack interacting with his son. It was obvious that Jack loved the baby as he cuddled and cooed at the infant kissing him softly on the head as he ate. Conner stared up at him the whole time, his brown eyes watching Jack as he ate. Finishing his bottle, Jack put him against his shoulder patting his back until Conner burped loudly spitting up down Jack's chest in the process. Jack smiled as he moved Conner so that he could look at his face. 

"You did that on purpose didn't you?" Jack questioned the infant. Conner's face scrunched and he let out a small cry. Jack pulled him close again, placing him against the opposite side of his chest. "I'm not mad. I know you didn't mean to throw up on me. It was just an accident."

"You care for him," The Doctor spoke up finally. 

"I do," Jack agreed. 

"Why?" The Doctor asked. Jack looked down at him, the confusion clear in his eyes. He could see that the Doctor's own eyes mirrored his as he stared up at the baby in Jack's arms. When Jack didn't answer him right away, though, he turned his eyes to look at Jack. Their eyes met and Jack could see the pain behind the confusion. 

"What do you mean, Doc?" Jack questioned softly rather than answering him. 

"Would you care for him if he wasn't my son?" The Doctor wondered as he turned his attention back to Conner. Conner had calmed down and was snuggling with Jack contently. 

"I wouldn't have him if he wasn't your son. I would have had Martha send him to a foster home or find an alien community here on Earth that could take him in. That being said, he is a sweet little boy and Ianto and I have been enjoying taking care of him for the last two weeks," Jack informed him. He laid Conner down on the bed between him and the Doctor as he pulled off his dirty shirt. He threw it to the side of the bed as he continued to talk. "Can I ask why you don't care for him?"

"Would you care for a baby that was forced upon you?" The Doctor questioned his voice barely above a whisper as he placed a hand softly on Conner's chest. 

"I'm sorry, Doc, I didn't know," Jack whispered as he realized what the Doctor was telling him. It was no wonder that the Doctor had rejected the child. It also answered his question about how the Doctor came to be pregnant even though Jack was positive that the Doctor never had sex. He felt anger over the man who hurt the Time Lord and wished his death silently. 

"I told Martha not to tell you," The Doctor admitted. He pulled Conner closer to him, snuggling him as Jack laid down so that the baby was between them. He reached out laying his hand down on the Doctor's arm. 

"I can't imagine what you are going through, but you are welcome to stay here for as long as you want to and I will take care of Conner for as long as you need me to," Jack informed him. 

"Will you bond with him?" The Doctor questioned. Jack narrowed his eyes. 

"What do you mean by bond?" Jack asked trying to clarify.

"He is a touch telepath, Jack. In order for his mind to grow properly, he needs to have his mind joined with another in a family bond," the Doctor explained. 

"As much as I care for Conner, my answer is no," Jack answered. The Doctor's eyes went wide with shock as he didn't expect Jack to tell him no. He looked up into Jack's own eyes, the question clear. "I am not going to bond with your son, Doc. You may want me to now because you are hurting and feeling confused but one day you are going to regret it."

"I won't," The Doctor started but Jack interrupted him before he could continue to lie to both himself and Jack. 

"Maybe not right now, but when you are feeling better and have taken the time to think about what you are asking me to do then you will regret it. You care about your child and despite the circumstances I can tell you only want what is best for him. You asked Ianto and me to take care of him and while I may not be mind-blind, I am not a telepath. Bonding with me, won't help his mind to grow. Not only that, I have seen the way you look at your son. You returned night after night just to be with him and while you may not want to raise him now one day you are going to want to take him with you. When that day comes, it will hurt you more to know that I bonded with him and that you can never have those early moments back with him," Jack explained to the Doctor. The Doctor moved his hand, turning so that his back was to Jack. 

"Doc," Jack started. 

"I'm tired, Jack," The Doctor interrupted not wanting to hear it anymore. Jack nodded as he stood up bring Conner with him. Moving towards the living room door, he could see that despite the Doctor claiming he was tired, he didn't close his eyes as he stared at the wall. Tears were streaming down his cheeks again and he sniffled softly. Jack changed his mind about letting the Doctor sleep. Turning, he laid Conner in his crib. Crossing back over to the bed, he climbed up on it so that he was facing the Doctor. Placing a hand gently on his arm he stared into the confused eyes. 

"Everything is going to be alright," Jack told him softly. 

"You don't know that," The Doctor responded his voice hollow. Jack smiled at him as he pulled the Time Lord closer to him. 

"I do, though, I know everything," Jack teased him. The Doctor huffed but didn't argue him as he snuggled closer to Jack's chest. Jack understood depression and how everything seemed overwhelming at the moment for the Doctor. He would feel better, though, and more able to handle everything once the pills took effect and he actually talked about what happened to him. "Now, how about a nice banana while I find us something to eat."

"I'm not hungry," The Doctor argued. 

"Sure you are," Jack commented, sitting up with the Doctor in his arms. Picking the Time Lord up, he carried him out of the bedroom placing him on the couch. Leaving the Doctor alone for a moment, he put the kettle on and grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl on the counter. Returning to the Doctor, he held the fruit out for him. The Doctor glared at him as he took it. Jack tried not to smile as he turned heading back into the kitchen to cook them lunch. The Doctor had come to him for help and regardless of whether or not he actually wanted the help, Jack was going to make sure he got it.


	22. Chapter 22

Jack dug through the fridge, finding a few eggs, sausage, mushrooms, and tomatoes causing him to decide to make omelets for breakfast. He wasn't sure what the Doctor would want on his, however, so he poked his head out of the kitchen to ask him. Not seeing the Doctor right away, he ventured farther into the room hoping silently that the Doctor hadn't decided to run in his absence. He was relieved to see that the TARDIS was still sitting in the corner even if he didn't see the Time Lord. Going further in the room he peeked in Ianto's room first seeing that Conner was sleeping peacefully even if there was no sign of his father. He turned to find that the Time Lord was still on the couch. He had laid down tucking his legs underneath himself as he curled into himself. His head rested on the arm of the couch as he stared at the blank television screen. 

"I'm going to make omelets for breakfast, what do you want in yours?" Jack questioned him. The Doctor just blinked as he continued to stare forward causing Jack to try a different approach. "We have vegetables as well as sausage that I can add to the eggs or I am sure I can find cheese if you would prefer that instead." Again no answer. Jack sighed. "Alright, I will just make you whatever I decide to have. I like to have meat with extra meat and tons of veggies on it."

The Doctor made a face at the suggestion but didn't argue. Jack shook his head going back into the kitchen. Despite his suggestion, he knew that the Doctor wouldn't actually enjoy having an all meat omelet. He pulled out the eggs and veggies as well as sausage making himself an overflowing meat one and then the Doctor a simpler just veggie one. He picked a banana out of the bowl on the counter and put it on the Doctor's plate as he carried them out into the living room. The Doctor hadn't moved in his absence still staring blankly at the telly. Jack sat the plate down on the coffee table in front of him then sat down by his legs as he started on his own meal. The Doctor ignored his food as Jack at hungrily. 

"You don't have to stare at the blank screen. We can turn on the telly and find a show to watch or a movie," Jack suggested. 

"Do you have the Lion King?" The Doctor questioned finally answering him. 

"No, I'm pretty sure we don't own that one," Jack answered. The Doctor didn't look at Jack as he stood up, making his way onto the TARDIS. Jack worried for a second that he was going to try to leave but the doors were left wide open until he returned a few minutes later with a DVD case in his hand. He put the DVD in the player, before taking his spot back on the couch. Jack turned on the television and hit play on the DVD, surprised when the Lion King started to play as he thought the Doctor was joking. "You actually want to watch this movie?"

"I like the Lion King," the Doctor responded. He ignored his food as Jack finished his own meal. Conner was crying by the time he finished and Jack went to get him making him a bottle. He sat down against the Doctor's legs, feeding Conner while he watched the movie. Once he was done, he changed his nappy and put him in a clean sleeper. As he started to lean back once more, the Doctor held his arms out for his baby. Jack tried not to smile as he handed Conner to the Doctor. The Doctor took his son, cuddling him close to his body. Jack watched him as the Doctor stared at the screen, not paying attention to the child that he was cuddling close. He looked lost and if he were being forced to hold the child even if he had taken his son willingly. 

"You don't have to hold him if you don't want to," Jack informed him. 

"I know," The Doctor whispered. Jack stared at him wondering what was going through the Doctor's head. He was so absorbed in watching the Doctor that he jumped as a knock sounded at the door. Getting to his feet, Jack went to the door. He opened it slowly, surprised to see that Martha was standing there with a bag in her hands. 

"Martha Jones, did miss you me already?" Jack flirted giving the Doctor warning that Martha had arrived. 

"I did, but I'm here to see the Doctor," Martha play flirted back. Jack opened the door wider allowing her to come inside. The Doctor glanced over at her but was more interested in watching as Simba returned to the pride lands to save the others. Martha went over to the couch, taking a seat next to him. "Not hungry for an omelet?"

"No," The Doctor answered. Martha reached into the bag pulling out a small container. 

"I brought you chips. I wasn't sure how you wanted them so I also brought maple syrup and custard as well as brown sauce," Martha told him. He smiled as he took the container from her. He thought his strange cravings would stop once the baby was born but his favorite snack while pregnant still sounded delicious. He handed Martha his son as he took the bag from her. He added the custard and maple syrup on top of the chips. Digging in with his fingers, he picked up the gloopy mess. 

"You're really going to eat that?" Jack questioned looking at it with disgust. 

"Leave him alone," Martha snipped at him. The Doctor looked between Jack and Martha as he placed the chip in his mouth. It didn't taste as good as it used to but that didn't stop him from eating another. Jack shook his head going into the kitchen to get a fork for the Doctor to use. The Doctor took it from him laying it on the table as he continued to eat with his fingers. "I was thinking, after we finish eating we should go on the TARDIS."

"No," The Doctor interrupted angrily. "I'm not going on to the TARDIS and letting you examine, poke, prod, or do anything else to my body." 

"I'm not asking for you. I have been having trouble identifying Conner's allergies due to his unique system. I was hoping you would allow me to use the TARDIS's medi-bay to run tests on him," Martha explained calmly despite the Doctor's outburst. 

"You don't need me for that. You know how to use the systems in the medi-bay on your own," the Doctor responded. Standing up, he took his meal into Ianto's bedroom with him slamming the door behind him. Jack looked at the door then back to Martha. While he was happy to see her, he wasn't happy with the Doctor hiding from him. 

"Do you want to talk to him or should I?" Jack questioned motioning towards the door. Martha shook her head. 

"Just give him time, Jack. He will come around eventually," Martha answered. Cuddling Conner close to her, she headed into the TARDIS. Jack watched her go, waiting until she disappeared. Going into the bedroom, he found the Doctor had thrown the rest of his chips away and was sitting on the ground with his knees tucked to his chest. Jack sat down next to him, reaching out to wrap his arm around the Doctor. The Doctor leaned away from him not wanting to be touched. Jack dropped his arms to his side as he sat next to the hurting Time Lord and wondered how he could help him.


	23. Chapter 23

The Doctor sat staring at the ground in front of him. He could hear Jack breathing softly beside him and see him out of the corner of his eye. He knew that Jack desperately wanted to comfort him but he didn't want his comfort at least he didn't think that he did. He still wasn't sure of himself despite having a good nights sleep and a morning meal. He felt as confused as ever about his son and while a part of him just wanted to hold his baby, a larger part wanted to run. Except he couldn't. Not only because Martha was currently in his TARDIS but because he didn't feel confident in himself. He wasn't sure how long he sat there before Jack stood up moving out of the room and Martha dropped to the floor next to him. 

"Are you done with my TARDIS?" The Doctor asked her softly. 

"I am. She was very helpful with testing Conner's blood and now I have a few medications that I can use if needed. She also confirmed that he is a very healthy little boy who is growing well. Jack and Ianto have been taking good care of him and I am pleased to hear that you have also taken an interest in your son," Martha explained to the Doctor. 

"I can't seem to stay away," The Doctor whispered. 

"That's not a bad thing, Doctor. It's alright to love him despite the circumstances of his conception. You can be a father to him," Martha told him.

"I can't," He answered. The Doctor lifted his head to stare at her. The pain was clear in his eyes as his brown eyes met hers. She held up her arm for him to lean into her but he ignored her just like he ignored Jack prior.

"I know it doesn't seem like it now, but give it time. You have already come further than we both expected at accepting that he is your son. Sitting in here, ignoring him won't help anything. You need to talk with us and I still think it is in your best interest to take pills that can help make it a little easier," Martha suggested to him. It wasn't the first time that she suggested that he take pills for his depression and they both knew that it wouldn't be the last. She had first suggested the pills after he refused to come out of his room for days aboard the TARDIS, then again while they were stuck in 1969 together. She tried again after the Valiant then while she helped him through his pregnancy. Each time, he refused telling her that good Time Lords didn't need pills to control their emotions. 

"Jack already gave me one this morning," The Doctor responded. He had noticed the small white pill underneath his regular morning pills. It had been easier just to take it rather than argue Jack that he didn't need it. 

"Are you going to continue to take them?" Martha questioned. The Doctor shrugged as he pulled himself to his feet. He could see Jack sitting on the couch cuddling Conner as he tried not to listen to their conversation. "Where are you going?"

"To take a shower and then I promised Donna that I would take her to a spa to relax," The Doctor answered as he headed towards his TARDIS.

"Are you sure that is a good idea?" Martha wondered as she chased after him.

"Probably not," the Doctor replied as he slammed the TARDIS doors behind him. Martha sighed loudly as she looked at Jack. 

"Don't worry, I will talk to him when he returns tonight," Jack told her. Martha walked over flopping on the couch beside him. As she watched the TARDIS disappear, Martha didn't doubt that the Doctor would eventually return. She just hoped that Jack would be able to get through to him.

-DW-

The Doctor knelt on the floor of the console room crying. The cold steel of the knife against his wrist did nothing to calm him. He hated the body that he was in. Hated the way it was continuously violated by others. He just wanted it to end. He had gone to Midnight in hopes of relaxing and spending time with Donna. The first day had been fine as together they settled in. They walked the leisure palace, had dinner at the small cafe before retiring to their separate rooms for the night. He had been tempted to return to Jack as he laid in his bed alone staring up at the ceiling. He needed a night to himself. time to think about what he really wanted. By morning he still didn't know, however. 

He took himself to the shower, then forced himself to meet Donna for breakfast. She had wanted to relax by the pool all day but what was the point of coming to a planet with a diamond waterfall if you couldn't see it. He should have listened to her. He should have stayed by the pool. If he had he would have been bored but at least his mind would have been his own. That thing had invaded his head and the humans on the bus had tried to kill him out of fear. Only the driver had managed to save his life prior to them throwing him in the extonic sun. He had left the planet with Donna shortly after returning to the leisure palace and maybe one day she would forgive him for dematerializing the TARDIS around her and forcing her to stay with her family. It was for the best as she didn't need to be there when he regenerated into his new body. He would find a new companion, move on and put everything behind him once more. 

He ran the knife up his wrist feeling the hot blood joining the cool blade. The pain seared through his arm but he ignored it. The pain would be temporary and his new body wouldn't carry the evidence of how this body ended. It was hard to grip the knife in his already damaged arm but he held the knife as tightly as he could as he pressed the blade to his other wrist. 

"Doctor?" Jack questioned as he came onto the TARDIS. The blue box had returned to Ianto's living room only moments before but the Time Lord had failed to exit. Concerned, Jack had gone into find him kneeling on the floor with blood dripping down into the grating. "Sweethearts, please give me the knife."

"I can't," The Doctor told him, his voice hollow as he pressed the blade firmer against his wrist. Blood seeped out around the blade running down his hand.

"I know you are hurting but ending this body isn't the answer," Jack informed him as he inched closer. He wanted to take the knife from the Doctor but he didn't want to rush him and cause the Doctor to panic and hurt himself even worse than he already had. "Just put the knife down and talk to me."

"I hate this body," The Doctor answered. 

"No, no you don't. You love this lithe body," Jack informed him. The Doctor shook his head no. 

"This body isn't mine anymore," The Doctor whispered. Jack was finally close enough to grab the Doctor's hand pulling the knife out of it. He threw it behind him as he scooped the Doctor up in his arms. The Doctor cried out fighting him as Jack rushed to the medi-bay. "Let me go. I just want to regenerate."

"No," Jack responded. He ran to the first bed putting the Doctor down on the bed. The Doctor seemed to lose his fight as Jack put pressure on his wrist to stop the bleeding. His hands were covered in the Doctor's blood as he fought to save the Time Lord. The drawer next to the bed opened as the TARDIS provided him with bandages, anesthetic, and a suture kit that he could use to fix the Doctor's wrist. 

"What do you need me to do, sir?" Ianto questioned as he came into find Jack struggling to fix the Doctor's wrists as he laid limply on the bed. The Doctor's eyes looked at him for a moment but quickly returned to staring at nothing. 

"Put pressure on that wrist while I stitch this one," Jack answered. Ianto grabbed a clean cloth and the Doctor's arm. He put pressure on the last damaged wrist as he watched Jack stitch the Doctor's right arm. The cut ran from the bottom of his wrist to almost halfway up his arm and took awhile to stitch closed. He had Ianto wrap bandages around his arm as he moved to the Doctor's left arm. As he worked Ianto left the TARDIS to check on Conner who he had left sleeping in his cot. Finishing up with the Doctor's arms, Jack picked the Doctor up in his arms. Carrying him off of the TARDIS, he carried him to Ianto's bed. With Ianto's help, they stripped him down to his pants and washed the blood off his hands and arms. 

"You need a shower, Jack," Ianto told him as they finished. 

"I can't leave him alone," Jack answered as he looked at the too quiet Time Lord. 

"I've got him," Ianto responded. Laying down, Ianto took the Doctor into his arms holding the lithe man close to him. The Doctor stared forward not caring who was holding him as he waited for the regeneration energy to take this body away from. Knowing the Doctor was safe, if only for a moment, Jack reluctantly went to shower.


	24. Chapter 24

Jack didn't bother to close the bathroom door completely behind him as he wanted to be able to hear if he was needed. He undressed laying his clothes down on the counter. He should have grabbed a new pair of trousers but didn't think about it as he was focused on getting back to Ianto and the Doctor. Reaching into the tub, he had just turned the water on when the wail of an unhappy child sounded from the living room. 

"I've got him," Jack called out. He started to just head into the living room but changed his mind at the last minute deciding to wrap a towel around his waist. Normally he wouldn't bother as Ianto was used to seeing him naked and Conner was too young to know or care what he wore but he didn't think the Doctor would appreciate seeing him naked. Opening the door all the way, he made his way to the cot where Conner was crying his unhappiness. He scooped him up in his arms cuddling him close. He could immediately smell part of the reason of his unhappiness and he scrunched up his nose over the stench. 

"What has Ianto been feeding you?" Jack questioned carrying him into 

"Just his regular formula," Ianto answered from the bedroom.

"Then we need to find him another one," Jack responded. He changed the baby's nappy and then dressed him in a clean outfit. Carrying him into the kitchen with him, he made him a fresh bottle as Conner continued to wail. "I'm sorry. I promise it's not that bad. I will have a nice bottle for you in just a moment." He tried his best to comfort the unhappy infant as he warmed his bottle. Conner, though, wouldn't calm down until he was finally gulping down his meal. Jack shook his head as he carried him into their room. 

"I can take him while you shower," Ianto offered. 

"Are you sure?" Jack wondered as he looked at his lover. Ianto was holding the Time Lord tightly against his body as they laid on the bed. The Doctor was still staring at nothing as he lay shriving softly. Ianto released the Doctor, pulling his arms free. He sat up reaching for the baby. Jack handed him down to Ianto making sure he had the baby securely. The bottle slipped from Conner's mouth for just a moment and his face scrunched. He screamed his unhappiness as Ianto quickly replaced the bottle. The Doctor didn't seem to care as Jack reached down to pull the blankets up to cover his almost naked body. As he did, he noticed that the Doctor's ankle was bruised and swollen. He left the room for just a moment, retrieving a bag of ice as well as a clean towel. He laid the towel gently on his ankle, then placed the ice on it. Fixing the blankets, he covered the Time Lord up to his chest making sure to leave his wrists exposed. He didn't like how quiet the Time Lord was as normally the Doctor never seemed to shut up. He reached out to run his fingers along the Doctor's head but he pulled away. 

His heart hurting for his friend, he turned going back to the bathroom. He turned on the water, letting it warm up. Hearing his cell phone, he sighed. It didn't seem like was going to be getting a shower anytime soon, not that he really wanted one anyways. Picking up his trousers from the floor, he pulled out his cellphone. Glancing at the caller ID, he wasn't surprised to see Martha's name. He had expected her to call at some point. He flipped open the phone bringing it to his ear. 

"Hello," He answered his voice monotone. 

"Jack. I'm sorry to bug you but I just got off of the phone with Donna. She says that their trip to the luxury spa didn't go as planned and she is worried about him. He forced her to stay at her house and she is worried that he is going to do something stupid," Martha explained. 

"Like slit his wrists?" Jack questioned. 

"Oh my god. Is he alright?" Martha gasped. 

"As well as can be expected. I sutured his wrists and he is currently resting with Ianto," Jack told her. 

"I'm on my way," Martha informed him. 

"No," Jack responded immediately. 

"What?" Martha questioned in surprise. 

"I said no. The Doctor is currently stable and his wrists have been sutured closed and bandage. What he needs right now is to rest, then to talk to someone about what happened," Jack replied. 

"I can talk to him," Martha argued. 

"Hell of a job you did last time," Jack snapped at her. He regretted his words as soon as they were out of his mouth. It wasn't Martha's fault that he chose to leave yesterday morning. It also wasn't her fault that he didn't call to check on the Doctor after he failed to return last night. He just thought that the Doctor wanted a night alone and he deserved it.

"Jack," Martha drew out his name. As both the Doctor's friend and doctor, she didn't like his terms. The Doctor needed both psychiatric and medical help. She wanted to run over there to tend to the Doctor making sure that he was alright. She had to trust Jack, though. Jack would never on purposely hurt the Doctor. He would strive to do what is best for him regardless of whether or not the Doctor agreed. 

"I know it is hard, Martha but he is safe at the moment," Jack interrupted before she could continue. "I also know that you want to be here for him but what he doesn't need at the moment is another doctor. Give Ianto and I a few days to coddle him while we try to get through to him. I will make sure he eats and takes his pills and gets the help he needs. After a few days, I will bring him to the hub and you can fuss over him all that you want."

"Alright," Martha agreed, not feeling like she had another choice. "But I want you to call me if anything changes. I don't care if it is in the middle of the night, you call me."

"I will, I promise," Jack reassured her. She reluctantly hung up the phone. Jack put his own phone away as he finally climbed into the shower. The water was too hot but he didn't bother to adjust the temperature. He let the water wash away his pain and rinsed off the Doctor's blood from his skin. Finishing quickly, he dried off returning to his room. In his absence, he found that the Doctor had rolled onto his back with Conner laying on his chest. He had one of his hands resting on the baby's back. Ianto was lying on his side beside the Doctor with his arms wrapped around him. He had his head close to the Doctor's and was speaking softly. Jack couldn't hear what he was saying but he could tell the Doctor was listening. He didn't get closer, instead choosing to go make them all cups of tea and coffee as he let Ianto try to reach the hurting Time Lord.


	25. Chapter 25

Ianto finished feeding Conner his bottle and burped the child. The entire time, the Doctor just laid there staring at the wall not paying attention to Ianto nor his child. Ianto was surprised that the Doctor didn't try to run while Ianto was occupied but just like aboard the TARDIS he seemed to have given up his fight. Ianto adjusted Conner holding him out to the Doctor. The Doctor made no move to take his child so Ianto took the decision out of his hands. With gentle pressure on the Doctor's shoulder, he guided him so that he was laying on his back. Carefully he laid Conner down on the Doctor's chest, moving the less damaged of the Doctor's arms to hold the infant in place. He checked to make sure that the ice pack was still against the Doctor's ankle before laying down and taking the Doctor into his arms. He rested his forehead against the side of the Doctor's head as he began to speak.

"I've been here," Ianto stated as he gently ran his fingers along the Doctor's bandaged wrist. The Doctor glanced at him briefly in confusion before returning his stare to the ceiling. "I've been to the very bottom where I felt that I had no other choice but to take my own life. If it hadn't been for my sister, I wouldn't be here. She found me and saved me. Because of her, I went on to University before working at Torchwood. I know from Jack that you don't agree with Torchwood but we have done a lot of good. We have saved countless lives over the years and all the help that I have given them would never have happened if I had succeeded that night."

"Jack has also told me stories about you. When I first heard of you, I was working for Torchwood One," Ianto admitted. He heard a soft growl from the Doctor's throat and he couldn't help but smile. "According to the official Torchwood charter, you are enemy number one. We are supposed to capture you on sight and if capture isn't possible, then we are to kill you. Jack would never allow it, though and for good reason. Despite what Torchwood says, you are a good man."

"I'm not," The Doctor whispered finally, his voice so low that Ianto had trouble hearing him. 

"You are, though. Jack has told me about all the people that you helped save. You were up there on the Sycorax ship on Christmas day. He even told me how there was a year that never happened for anyone else but the people at the eye of the storm. If it wasn't for you then the universe would have ended. The universe needs you, Doctor, even if you don't agree at the moment. More than that, Jack cares for you and so does Donna, Martha, and Conner. You have people who love you and want you to be safe," Ianto informed him softly. 

"And you?" The Doctor questioned turning his head so that he could look at Ianto. 

"I barely know you but Jack cares for you and so does Martha. You also gave Conner a chance for a good life, even if you aren't sure how you feel about him," Ianto responded. He leaned up kissing Conner softly on the side of the head. Laying his head back down, he gently pressed his forehead against the Doctor's. "I love Conner and have been enjoying caring for him. Jack and I both hope that we can still be part of his life when you finally decide to take him with you."

"I don't think I am going anywhere soon," the Doctor answered. He wasn't stupid and he knew that Jack was going to make him stay until they were sure he wouldn't try to kill himself again. At the moment, he still wanted to. He wanted to run from the bedroom and onto the TARDIS to finish what he started. Only he didn't. He just laid there feeling the heavy cool weight of Conner on his chest and the warm body of Ianto pressed against his side with his arms holding him tightly. He could feel the burning pain of his wrists and the ache in his ankle dulled by the ice.

"No, but that's alright. You can stay here with the three of us until you are ready to travel again," Ianto agreed. Hearing a knock at the door, he raised his head to see Jack standing in the doorway with three steaming cups. 

"Mind if I come in?" Jack questioned. 

"Not at all," Ianto responded. Jack came into the room as Ianto sat up on the bed in order to take the cup without spilling it all over himself. He took his cup of coffee from Jack, holding it in his hands. The Doctor turned his head to look back at the ceiling. He could see Jack holding two more cups out of the corner of his eye and he thought about just ignoring him. Instead, he placed a hand on Conner's back as he forced himself to sit up. He took the cup from Jack bringing it immediately to his lips. The tea was overly sweet and too hot for a human to consume. He hummed his pleasure as he took another sip. The bed dipped next to him as Jack took a seat. He didn't pull away as Jack wrapped an arm around his shoulder holding him. 

"How are you feeling?" Jack wondered. 

"Lost," the Doctor admitted. 

"I promise it will get easier. Ianto and I are going to be right here with you," Jack promised him. He pulled the Doctor carefully making him lean closer. The Doctor finished off his cup of tea and handed it back to Jack. Holding Conner with both arms, he leaned his head against his shoulder. "Martha called me while I was trying to shower."

"When will she be getting here?" The Doctor wondered, his voice hollow. 

"I told her not to come. Your wrists are bandaged and you will be fine with me and Ianto for a few days," Jack answered him. 

"Thank you," The Doctor whispered. Jack kissed the Doctor on the top of the head before leaning his head to rest against the Doctor's.

"Rest now and in the morning you need to call Donna and let her know that you are alright. I also need to contact Gwen in the morning and pass off the running of Torchwood for a few days," Jack explained. He turned slightly setting his cup down on the bedside table before releasing the Doctor. He took Conner from him carrying the sleeping baby back over to his cot. He laid him down in it making sure he was comfortable. Turning out the light in the room, he then returned to the bed. He took Ianto's cup from him placing it next to his own. The Doctor didn't fight as he was helped to lay back in the bed. Jack fixed the blankets so that all three of them were tucked beneath them as Ianto snuggled against him from behind holding him tightly to his chest. Climbing into the bed, Jack laid down in front of them. Jack laid his arm across the Doctor, resting his hand on Ianto's arm. None of them slept right away as they laid in the darkness just holding each other for a moment. Jack wondered how he could help the Doctor as Ianto just hoped that he got through to the Time Lord. Exhaustion eventually took over, though, and soon they were all sleeping peacefully in each other's arms.


	26. Chapter 26

Jack let Ianto and the Doctor sleep as he got up to tend to Conner several times during the night. He normally didn't need much sleep so he didn't mind getting up with the infant. Each time, he would make sure Conner was fed and had a fresh nappy before returning the baby to his cot. Around three in the morning, however, Conner decided that he didn't want to sleep anymore. Jack ended up sitting out in the living room. He played with Conner's arms and made him kick as he cooed at the baby. Conner just stared up at him and Jack couldn't want for him to learn to smile and laugh. He thought sadly for a moment that Conner might no longer be staying with them when it happened. He quickly pushed the thought away as he smiled at the little boy. 

"You're just not going to let me get any more rest tonight are you?" He questioned his tone soft but happy. "You don't care it is almost four in the morning now. You want to play and dance. That's alright, I don't mind. We just need to make sure that your daddy continues to sleep peacefully because he is hurting, Conner. So we can kick and play but we have to do it quietly okay?" Conner kicked at him and Jack laughed. Soon it was obvious, though, that the baby was becoming over stimulated. Jack wrapped him in his blanket, cuddling him close. He hummed softly until the infant fell asleep in his arms. He wasn't ready to put Conner back in his cot yet, though, so he continued to hold the sleeping child close as he relaxed on the couch. 

"Morning sir," Ianto whispered as he came out into the living room. He stood behind the couch, leaning over it so that he could kiss Jack on the lips. "Conner keep you up all night?"

"Kind of, but that's alright I didn't need to sleep last night anyway," Jack answered him. Ianto rolled his eyes. While he knew that Jack could go days without sleep due to his immortality, Jack was always happier and more energetic when he slept at least a few hours. 

"Coffee?" Ianto questioned. 

"Please," Jack responded. He watched Ianto disappear into the kitchen as he pulled himself to his feet. Carrying Conner into their room, he laid him gently down in his cot. Crossing the short distance to the bed, he pulled the blankets down from the Time Lord's face. The Doctor scrunched his nose at the sudden change in temperature. He rubbed his face on the side of the pillow as a soft snore escaped. Content that the Doctor was alright, Jack covered him back up and then moved to the bottom of the bed. He had checked the Doctor's ankle several times during the night as it continued to swell and bruise. Now it was a colorful array of black and purple, making Jack wonder what happened. He hoped to get his answers soon, though making the Time Lord talk about himself would be an even bigger challenge than getting him to stick around for a few days. 

"Did you want me to make him a cup of tea?" Ianto asked softly. Jack shook his head no. 

"Let him sleep," Jack answered going to the door. He closed the door behind him, leaving it open just a crack so that he could hear if Conner or the Doctor needed him. With both of them asleep, he turned his attention to Ianto. Over his long years, he had often used sex as a way of comfort. He had wanted to sleep with his young lover last night, but with the Doctor sharing their bed it wasn't possible. So now, he took the opportunity to slip his hand down Ianto's trousers as he pulled him close. 

"What if he wakes up?" Ianto questioned as he felt his body responding to Jack's touch. He couldn't help it as Jack's hand knew exactly how to convince him to respond. Also, after months of having sex inside the hub, there was almost a thrill he found at thought of getting caught. It didn't matter if it was by one of the other members of Torchwood that he had to still work with later in the day.

"Then you better be quiet," Jack replied as he continued to tease Ianto with his hand. Ianto couldn't help but thrust his hips as Jack's hand moved. He pushed his lips to Jack's, tasting his mouth as together they stumbled the few steps to the couch, collapsing down on it. Ianto tried to hurry Jack as he listened closely for any sign that the Time Lord was waking up. Even with the thrill of possibly getting caught, he didn't want the Doctor to actually catch them. 

"Sir," Ianto whimpered into Jack's mouth as his hand released him. He was so close to reaching completion but Jack wasn't going to let him off that easy. He both loved and hated Jack for it at the moment as his body ached. Reaching down, he brushed his fingers across his own member but Jack slapped his hand away. 

"Uh, uh, uh. You didn't think you were getting off that easily did you?" Jack wondered. Ianto watched as Jack arched his back off the couch lowering his trousers to his thighs. Ianto groaned. He didn't even think about his actions, though, as he stood up lowering his own trousers. He heard the cap of the lube that Jack always kept nearby as he straddled Jack's hips. Sitting back slowly, he took Jack deep into his body feeling a slight burn as he did. He kept going until his bare bottom met Jack's skin. It was his turn to tease Jack as he moved slowly up and down, staring into his lover's lust filled eyes. He couldn't help the soft whimpers of Jack's name as he brought them closers and closer to completion. Finally, he couldn't hold back any longer. He bit down on Jack's shoulder as he fell over the edge with a long, low groan. Jack followed him a moment later as he bit back his own cry. 

"You squeaked," Ianto giggled. 

"I did not," Jack argued. Ianto nodded forcing himself to stand on shaky legs. His body felt like jelly and he wanted to remain joined with his lover but he made sure to fix his trousers as Jack fixed his own. The thought of a shower briefly crossed his mind before collapsing on the couch next to Jack. He kissed Jack softly on the lips as Jack wrapped an arm around him. Holding him close. 

"The coffee?" Ianto wondered. 

"It can wait a moment," Jack told him as he pushed their lips together again. Ianto didn't argue as he kissed him back. Jack reached up thumbing the side of Ianto's face as he deepened the kiss. Pushing him gently to lean back on the couch, he was ready for a second round. The sound of a moan from the bedroom caused him to pause though. He broke the kiss with several short kisses as he smiled down at his young Welsh lover. "Later," he promised.


	27. Chapter 27

Jack carefully untangled himself from the Welshman's arms with lots of soft kisses along his cheek and neck. Ianto could feel himself responding again, causing him to curse Jack softly. He hated Jack as together they got to their feet abandoning their second round on the couch. He reached down adjusting himself as Jack's eyes watched him. He raised his eyebrows playfully as he started towards the shower. He couldn't help the chuckle that escaped as Jack gave chase. Their second round was frantic as they stood under the hot water. Using on their hands, they kissed deeply as they brought each other to completion. Washing away all the evidence, they finished showering and dressed before exiting back into the living area. 

"I'll make us both coffee and him a strong cup of tea," Ianto told Jack as he started towards the kitchen. He could hear the Doctor mumbling to himself louder in the room as he continued to sleep. It was only a matter of time before he either woke on his own or they decided to wake him to relieve him of his nightmares. 

"If he is waking up, I am going to go retrieve his morning pills and fresh bandages for his arms. I should probably look into painkillers while I am in there as well," Jack informed Ianto. Ianto nodded watching as Jack disappeared into the blue box. Going into the kitchen, Ianto made them their drinks. He made sure to make Jack's just how he liked it and then made the Doctor a cup of tea with extra sugar. Hearing the Doctor become louder, he left the drinks on the counter as he headed into his room to soothe the Time Lord. 

"You don't have to do this. There is another way. I can help you," The Doctor cried out. "Please, don't do this. I know it seems as if they are angry, but I promise you that they are just frightened. If you just talk to me I promise that I can help you. Just let me help you."

"Shhhh, it's alright," Ianto cooed soothingly as he ran his fingers along the side of the Doctor's head. The reaction was instantaneous as the Doctor lashed out at him. 

"Get out of my head." The Doctor screamed in pure terror as he fought against Ianto. His hand connected with Ianto's arm causing a deep red mark to appear. Ianto pulled back unsure what to do. He had dealt with Jack becoming violent during his nightmares before and while he wasn't frightened of the Time Lord, he also wasn't sure how to help him as he continued to scream. "Help me. Somebody, please help me."

"Ianto, get off the bed," Jack told his lover calmly as he entered the room to see the Doctor fighting against an invisible enemy. 

"I don't know what happened. He was talking in his sleep, so I came in here to wake him and he started to scream," Ianto explained. He caught the Doctor's hand as it swung again. 

"I'm sorry Ianto it is because you are scaring him. You need to stop trying to wake him and get off the bed," Jack responded. He approached the bed ready to take over trying to calm the Doctor. 

"How am I scaring him?" Ianto asked in confusion as he got off the bed letting Jack take his place.

"He is a touch telepath and you are, for like of a better term, mind blind. For some reason, he isn't able to block you and can feel you in his mind. That is why he is screaming at you to get out of his mind. He feels like he is being invaded," Jack replied. He wasn't sure if he was right without actually being able to ask the Doctor, but his theory made the most sense based on what Ianto had told him. Jack made sure his own telepathic walls were in place before he reached out to gently caress the side of the Doctor's head. 

"It's time to wake up now, sweethearts," He cooed. When that didn't work he gave the Doctor's shoulder a rough shake. The Doctor's eyes popped open, the fear evident in them as he looked around the room. Seeing Jack, he threw himself into his arms gripping his shirt tightly. 

"They were going to kill me," the Doctor sobbed as he held on to Jack. Jack wrapped his own arms around the Doctor holding him close to his body. 

"Who were?" Jack asked softly. 

"The people on the bus," The Doctor answered. The dream still fresh in his mind, he told Jack about how he had visited the planet midnight with Donna. He explained about wanting to see the diamond waterfall only to have the bus break down during their journey. If it hadn't been for the stewardess, he would have been thrown out into the extonic sun with no chance of regeneration. 

"You're safe now. Those people will never be able to hurt you again," Jack promised as he silently vowed to kill every single person who had been aboard the bus. He no longer wondered what had finally pushed the Doctor over the edge into trying to take his own life. The Time Lord had been through enough in his long life without having the humans turn on him and try to kill him as a creature invaded his mind. He must have been so scared and so confused by what happened to him that he saw no other choice through his depression. 

"Is that how you hurt your ankle," Ianto questioned sensitively as he stood by. 

"Yeah, as they were pulling me my foot got caught on the seat," The Doctor answered. 

"Well, we will ice it and I have a couple of painkillers for you to take to help with the pain in your arms and in your ankle," Jack responded. He released the Doctor from the hug they were sharing moving his arms so that he could carry the Doctor as he stood. Scooping the Doctor up, he carried him out to the living room and sat him gently on the couch. Ianto disappeared into the kitchen, returning a minute later with a new bag of ice and the Doctor's tea. The Doctor took the tea, as Jack propped his leg up on a pillow before applying the ice. He didn't argue as he was then handed a small handful of pills to take. He swallowed them down with his cup of tea. As Jack reached for his right arm, though, he averted his eyes not ready to see the damage that he caused his body yet. Jack was gentle as he cleaned the wound and wrapped a new bandage around his arm. He let the Doctor transfer the tea between hands before doing the same to his other arm. 

"One day you are going to have to acknowledge what you did," Jack told him as he settled down beside the Doctor. The Doctor nodded, leaning against Jack as he sought warmth and comfort. Jack wrapped his arm around the Doctor holding him close while Ianto took a seat beside them. 

"I will," The Doctor whispered. He looked down at the bandages that stretched up his arms. They both burned painfully and he knew that the skin would be red under the black pieces of thread that lined the wounds holding them closed. He shuddered, pushing himself even further into Jack as Ianto wrapped his arms around him from the other side to help warm him. Grateful for the two men, he took comfort from their touch.


	28. Chapter 28

They sat contently for a while, just enjoying their drinks and the comfort of each other's arms. That changed, however, as Conner began to cry from the bedroom. Ianto immediately got to his feet, heading in to check on the infant. Looking at the time, Jack also reluctantly got up leaving the Doctor alone on the couch. The Doctor continued to stare forward as Jack pulled out his phone first calling Gwen. Their conversation was relatively short as he passed on leadership of Torchwood to her for the next few days. She knew that she could always call them if an artifact came through the rift, but as long as it remained quiet they would be left alone. 

The second call he made took longer. Martha had to have been waiting for him because she answered on the second ring. She also wouldn't just take that he is doing fine as an answer. Jack called Ianto back into the living room with Conner as he made his way onto the TARDIS. Once there, he gave her a complete update on the damage done to the Doctor's wrists, how red his stomach was, what pills he was taking, and if he had eaten or drunken anything since his arrival. He tried to get off the phone several times but Martha kept reminding him that if she was there she wouldn't have to bother him. Finally, though, he was able to get her off the phone and return to the two men. Entering, he found Ianto sitting in a chair feeding Conner while the Doctor lay curled up on his side staring at the wall. 

"Your turn, Doc," Jack told him holding out the cell phone. The Doctor's eyes widened as he stared at it, refusing to reach out for the phone. Jack laughed. "Don't worry, Martha is no longer on the line. However, we agreed that you were going to call Donna in the morning and let her know that you were alright."

"Fine," The Doctor sighed. He winced as he pushed himself to sit up using his sore arms. Taking the phone from Jack he dialed the familiar number to Donna's cell phone as Jack flopped down on the couch beside him. The phone rang through to voicemail as Donna failed to answer the unfamiliar number. Unphased, he hung up without leaving a message calling her right back. 

"What do you want?" Donna snipped as she answered the phone. She had barely slept the night before as she worried about the Doctor. When she did manage to fall asleep for a few minutes, her dreams were plagued with him dying either by his own hands or being thrown into the extonic sunlight of Midnight. She had given up on sleep around three in the morning as she sat at the table drinking several cups of coffee just waiting for news on her spaceman. She had seen the pain in his eyes as he left her behind and she was terrified that she was going to get a call from Martha telling her that he had died. 

"Donna," The Doctor answered softly.

"Oh my god. You had me worried sick. I thought you were dead or worse," Donna yelled at him her tone changing from angry to worried as she spoke. 

"I'm fine," he answered his voice monotone. He heard Jack make a noise with his mouth. He glared at him briefly but Jack didn't care.

"Where the hell are you, Spaceman?" Donna demanded to know.

"I'm at Jack and Ianto's flat temporarily. At least I think it is temporary. The length of time really just depends on when they think I am able to travel again. Though, my ankle is quite sore. Maybe I could just hop on one foot around the console. Can you imagine me hopping?" The Doctor rambled. He looked at Jack again as he felt a hand on his back, rubbing softly. Jack shook his head as the Doctor went quiet. 

"You're not making any sense. What happened, Doctor? Why are you trapped at their flat?" Donna questioned him. The Doctor sighed, running his free hand to the back of his neck and rubbing it.

"I lied to you. I should have told you the truth long ago but lying was easier," The Doctor admitted. 

"So tell me the truth now," Donna told him softly. The Doctor shook his head no, even if she couldn't see it. 

"I can't. I don't want you to hate me, Donna," He whined at her. 

"And I'll still be your friend no matter what. Just talk to me," Donna begged him. The Doctor felt trapped. Even if he wanted to run he couldn't on his leg. He looked at Jack for help but Jack refused to provide it. He sat quietly not sure what to tell her. 

"Why don't you invite her over?" Jack suggested. The Doctor held out the phone to Jack and he took it. "Donna?"

"Who the hell is this?" Donna snipped. 

"Captain Jack Harkness," Jack flirted with his tone. 

"Stop it," The Doctor mumbled as he groaned. 

"The Doctor is currently with us at Ianto's flat and we are planning on having steaks for dinner if you're interested in joining us. It will also give you and the Doctor a chance to talk," Jack suggested ignoring the interruption. 

"Alright," Donna agreed. Jack gave her the address to the flat before telling her goodbye. He put the phone back into his pocket.

"So we have a few hours until she gets here. What would you like to do in the meantime Doc?" Jack questioned him. The Doctor rolled his eyes. He wasn't stupid and he knew that what he wanted and what was actually going to happen were two different things. So he chose the easiest of his options. 

 

"I want a shower," The Doctor spoke up after awhile. Even though he was content sitting on the couch with Jack, he felt sweaty and dirty. Also, his skin on his stomach was a lighter red color and he wouldn't be happy until it burned red again. He couldn't see Jack's face so he missed the look that passed between him and Ianto before Jack responded. 

"Don't you think a bath would be easier at the moment?" Jack questioned him softly. 

"I do, but I still want a shower," The Doctor agreed. He knew that he was going to have trouble standing on his ankle and that both of his wrists needed to be wrapped in plastic. 

"Alright, so the next thing you need to decide is who you want to go in there with you." The Doctor gave him a look but Jack stood his ground. "I'm sorry, Doc, but it hasn't even been twenty-four hours since you tried to end it. On top of that, Martha told me how you like to rub your skin raw. So, either you shower with one of us in the bathroom with you, or you don't shower at all. The choice is yours. 

"Not much of a choice," The Doctor grumbled unhappily. He looked over at Ianto first, who was still tending to Conner. He had finished his bottle but he was happy being snuggled. He then looked to Jack. The Captian and him had a long history and it was no secret that Jack wanted into his pants. Despite that, he also knew that Jack was willing to help him regardless of the cost. He trusted that Jack would take him into the shower and that is all they would do. He wouldn't have to worry about the Captain touching him inappropriately or making him feel any more embarrassed than he already did. 

"Well?" Jack questioned as the Doctor sat quietly debating his choices. 

"I'll shower with you," He sighed finally. 

"Good choice," Jack smiled. Standing up, he offered the Doctor a hand. The Doctor gripped Jack's hand tightly as he stood his sore ankle screaming at him in pain. Gritting his teeth, he limped slowly to the bathroom as he wondered if Jack was right and he should just take a bath instead. Not ready to give up quite yet, he supported himself on the counter before sitting down on the closed lid of the loo. Holding his arms out in front of him, he watched as Jack wrapped plastic around the bandages to keep his stitches dry. He refused to look at Jack as he then took off his pants throwing them on the counter. Jack started the water, then helped him to his feet. He continued to stare down as he climbed into the shower. The water was a little too warm, but he didn't mind. He stood there trying to ignore his ankle while he let the water soothe him. Reaching for the soap, he lathered a washcloth well then started on his stomach. 

"Time's almost up," Jack informed him as five minutes passed. The Doctor grumbled as he gave up trying to turn his stomach red. He washed his body the best he could, then shampooed his hair. Turning off the water, he pulled the curtain back to see Jack standing with a towel. He took it, wrapping it around his waist as he allowed Jack to help him out of the shower. Jack turned his back as he dried off before dressing once more in just a pair of pants. He didn't complain when Jack proceeded to pick him up and carry him back to the living room once he was dressed. Pretending to grumble about it, he leaned into the warmth of Jack's arms as they settled once more on the couch together.


	29. Chapter 29

The morning passed slowly as the Doctor laid on the couch once more refusing to talk. While he ate a small meal of bananas with eggs, sausage, and toast, it was less than he needed to sustain his body. Jack tried to push him to eat more, but he refused, stating that he was full. He also refused to take Conner at first, causing Jack to wonder if he was pushing his little boy away again. The Doctor, however, was terrified that the creature that had invaded his mind was still lying in wait. He refused to put his child in danger by holding him or accidentally connecting to his mind. 

"I need to go on to the TARDIS," The Doctor whispered as he held his arms close to his body to make sure that Jack and Ianto couldn't force him to hold his child again. 

"That's not going to happen at the moment, so why don't you tell me what you need from the TARDIS and I will get it for you," Jack suggested softly. 

"I need her to help me check my wall," The Doctor answered. Jack nodded his understanding as he turned to the Doctor. 

"I can help you do that," Jack informed him. The Doctor narrowed his eyes slightly. While he trusted Jack, he was also afraid if the creature really wasn't gone it would take ahold of Jack and make him hurt the people in the flat including his child. 

"Please, Jack. I don't want to put you or anyone else in danger. If the creature is still in my mind, she can contain it," The Doctor begged. 

"Alright, we will go into the TARDIS just long enough for her to help you," Jack agreed. He didn't wait for the Doctor to try to stand, instead scooped him into his arms and carried him onto the TARDIS. Still holding the Doctor, he carried him over to the first coral allowing the Doctor to rest his head against it. While it would have been just as easy to take the Doctor further into the control room, he was worried that he would try to run the minute he touched the console. By holding the Doctor in his arms, he was able to keep control of the Time Lord, even if it was only for a moment. 

The Doctor didn't mind as he opened his mind to the TARDIS. She hummed through him in a way that was familiar to him as breathing as she tried to reassure him that the creature was gone. She had tried to calm her thief when he returned from the leisure planet but he had been too distraught to listen to her. After he forced her to leave Donna behind, she did the only she could do and take him to humans who would help him. Now, she joined with his mind reinforcing the wall that had nearly shattered during the psychic attack the day before. It would take time before the wall was completely healed and he felt himself again. During that time, the humans could keep him safe and keep him from slicing his arms again. 

While the Doctor was comforted by the TARDIS, Jack was being updated about the Time Lord's condition. She automatically scanned his body as the two of them entered, concerned about his weak condition. His ankle, while not broken, had been severely sprained as he was pulled by the other passangers. He had lost a lot of blood from slicing his wrists, but he didn't need any additional blood. He just needed rest and extra potassium the next few days to renew his energy. Jack reassured her that he would keep the Doctor safe and she hummed her happiness through him causing Jack to smile. Finally, with both men comforted, she gently guided the Doctor to release his mind and he did so warily. He made sure to keep the bond they shared opened so that he wouldn't lose her completely.

He felt sleepy as Jack carried him back out to the living room laying him down on the couch. He stretched out contently, even reaching for Conner as Ianto offered the tired little boy. Jack's worries ceased as the Doctor finally took the little boy laying him on his chest. He lay there rubbing his back slowly as Jack turned on Toy Story for the Doctor to watch. He realized that he shouldn't have bothered, however, as within moments, he was sleeping contently with Conner. Jack got an extra blanket from Ianto's bed using it to cover the Doctor and the sleeping child. While he would have liked nothing better than to sneak into Ianto's bedroom for a quickie he remained close by in case the Doctor had a nightmare or Conner needed him. 

It was almost an hour later when there was a knock at the door. Confused, Ianto got to his feet going to answer it. 

"Hello. How can I help you?" Ianto questioned as he looked out to see an unfamiliar red haired woman glaring at him.

"Are you Jack?" Donna wondered. 

"One second," Ianto told her. Closing the door slightly, he turned to look at his lover. "Jack, there is a young woman here to see you." Confused Jack went to the door opening it. 

"Where is the Doctor?" Donna snipped as the door opened again. She tried to peer past Jack, but he stopped her stepping out into the hall. While he hadn't expected Donna to arrive until supper time, he wasn't surprised that she had rushed down early in the day as he understood her worry about the Doctor. 

"Before you come in, there are a few things you need to know," Jack explained to Donna as he took a step out into the hall. Donna listened horrified as Jack explained the bandages on the Doctor's arms. He didn't tell her about Conner, not yet, as he only knew part of the story. He didn't stop Donna as she went around him into the flat. Seeing the Doctor sleeping on the couch, she hurried over to it. Her spaceman looked pale and sickly. She could clearly see the bandages on his wrists with one stretching up almost to his elbow. She reached out gently brushing her fingers along the bandage as she took in the baby in his arms. The baby couldn't have been more than a few weeks old and looked slightly like the Doctor. It didn't take her long to figure out that the baby was born about the same time the Doctor had surgery on his abdomen. Surgery that looked almost like a c-section scar, but that was impossible, wasn't it? She chuckled at the thought that her spaceman could give birth, even as she felt both angry and confused that he had tried to end it. 

"Is the baby his?" Donna questioned softly. Jack nodded.

"His name is Conner," Jack told her. "Ianto and I have been watching him since his birth." Donna moved her hand up to the Doctor's head moving his hair off his forehead. The Doctor scrunched his nose as the hair brushed across his nose. Donna did it again, this time on purpose causing the Doctor to sneeze. He opened his eyes looking at her unhappily as he reached up wiping his nose on his bandage. Jack sighed seeing the movement. Leaving them alone for a moment, he headed towards the bathroom to get clean bandages for his arm. 

"Donna," The Doctor whined as he opened his eyes. 

"Don't Donna me. You have a lot of explaining to do starting with why didn't tell me you had a son," Donna scolded him. He nodded before looking down at the baby still sleeping soundly on his chest. 

"I couldn't," The Doctor started. 

"Ah, ah, ah. First things first. Don't you ever scare me like that again," Donna growled angrily as she interrupted him. The Doctor's eyes went wide as Donna raised his her hand. As she moved closer to him, he squinted his eyes waiting for the impact. When he felt her arms wrapping around him being careful of his son, he dared to open his eyes. He could see the worry in her eyes as she tried to hug him. Carefully moving Conner, he allowed Ianto to take him as he turned to wrap his arms tightly around Donna. With his baby out of the way, he felt the sharp sting of a slap on his arm before Donna wrapped her arms tighter around him. Confused, he hugged her back thankful that he still had his friend.


	30. Chapter 30

Donna continued to hold him tightly, not wanting to let him go. Not that he minded, he rested his head on his friend's shoulder, holding her just as tightly. His friends continued to amaze him as they embraced him and cared for him despite his decisions. He had been so afraid of losing Donna when she found out that he had left his son in another's care because she had always wanted children. Yet, here she was holding him, forgiving him for his actions but not for trying to take his own life. He moved his arm so that he could see the white bandages against his pale skin. Quickly he raised his eyes as he felt guilty for slicing his wrist. He should have gone to Donna and told he was hurting rather than taking his pain in his own hands. He felt that he had so much to ask her forgiveness for that he decided to try to make it up to her and tell her the truth when she started asking questions. 

"Who is his mother?" Donna asked finally as she continued to hold him close. The Doctor was grateful that he didn't have to look her in the eyes as he answered her. He tried to ignore the fact that Jack and Ianto were nearby listening to every word that was shared between them. 

"He doesn't have one, technically. Do you remember when we were traveling on the TARDIS and you told me that while you were happy I was gaining weight that we needed to try to eat healthier?" The Doctor questioned.

"I do," Donna responded. She remembered clearly having the conversation with him because while it had been a few months since that conversation for him, it had only been a few weeks for her.

"He was the reason that I had gained the weight. I couldn't keep my lithe body if I wanted him to be healthy," The Doctor answered. Donna leaned back so that she could look him in the eye. She expected to see a smile on his face as he teased her about being pregnant but it was clear from the look in his eyes he wasn't lying. He had really carried the child deep within his abdomen. 

"So if you are technically his mother, who is his father?" Donna wondered. 

"It doesn't matter. That man is not his father and even if he wanted to help me with Conner, he would never be allowed near my child," The Doctor responded immediately. 

"Fair enough," Donna told him. He had a darkness in his eyes as he spoke about the man that showed his contempt. Even without him saying it, Donna could tell the man had hurt her spaceman, even if she wasn't sure how She leaned back so that she could look for the infant. Ianto was still cuddling him as he sat in the armchair trying to ignore their conversation. Donna stood going to take the baby from him and seeing the opportunity Jack flopped down beside the Doctor with the fresh bandages in his hands. The Doctor looked at him confused as Jack reached for his right wrist and began to unwrap the bandage. 

"You just changed my bandages," The Doctor told him in confusion. 

"I did, but whether or not you realize it, you used your bandage as a handkerchief earlier," Jack explained to him. The Doctor nodded. Jack was right, he didn't remember using his bandaged arm. He once more kept his eyes turned away as the sutures were revealed. He heard Donna gasp and he turned his eyes downward, ashamed of his actions. He wanted to run onto the TARDIS and hide from them but they would never allow it and neither would the TARDIS. He felt tears rising again and he closed his eyes tightly as he lowered his head.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about Conner before now. We could have brought him with us when we went to Chora to relax, or taken him to see my granddad. He loves children and would have been excited to see him," Donna chastised the Doctor softly as she tried to distract him from his wrist. "If he does come on the TARDIS, though, I am not changing his nappies. For all, I know his urine will be radioactive."

"I can do it," The Doctor whispered not taking the bait. Donna glanced at Jack who raised his eyebrows as he shrugged. He finished bandaging the Doctor's wrist and he let it drop down in front of him. 

"Since everyone is here, why don't I go ahead and start the steaks now. We can have them for lunch and then have something small for dinner," Jack questioned. 

"Alright," Donna agreed. 

"Ianto can you help me in the kitchen?" Jack asked wanting to give the Doctor a moment alone with his friend. 

"Yep," Ianto answered immediately. Standing he followed Jack into the small kitchen within the flat.

"I am sorry you couldn't talk to me, spaceman. I knew something was wrong but every time I asked you just told me you were fine. I know why you chose to go to Martha over me, but I could have helped you," Donna told him keeping her voice low. He couldn't look at her as he listened to Jack and Ianto pulling out pots and pans in the kitchen. 

"I couldn't tell you, Donna. I wanted to so many times, but if I admitted I was pregnant with him, I would have also had to admit how he was conceived and I couldn't do it. I tried so hard to ignore him but eventually, I couldn't anymore and I didn't want you to hate me over the fact that I didn't want him," The Doctor admitted. 

"For being such a genius, you are a dumbo sometimes. Just a big old space dunce," Donna told him. He got a small smile on his face as he dared to raise his head. 

"Yeah," he agreed softly. He could see that she was still holding Conner in her arms and he reached out gently taking his baby's hand. The edges of his fingers were more prominently blue than when he was born but the Doctor was grateful the color didn't spread. Donna noticed the coloring and tried to gently rub it off. The Doctor chuckled. He stopped her as he explained that the baby was part Crespallion. He told her how they had varying shades of blue skin and that his son had the blue skin on his fingers and toes. By that time the steaks were done and Jack carried them out with Onions and mushrooms to put on top. With three sets of eyes to watch him, the Doctor couldn't pretend he wasn't hungry. Reluctantly, he started to eat with the rest of them as Jack changed the subject. He half listened as Jack spoke about some of the planets he had visited before regaling them all with a naked escape story that had Donna's face bright red. 

"Blimey, Jack," the Doctor spoke up as he felt the hotness in his own cheeks. Jack looked rather proud of himself as he managed to embarrass everyone else in the room. 

"Well if anyone else has a better naked escape story, I would be happy to hear it," Jack told them. He looked at Ianto who shook his head no, Donna did the same before his eyes focused on the Doctor. The Doctor didn't answer him as the last time he had been forced out of his clothes, he had also been forced to conceive Conner. Dropping his fork, he got quickly to his feet hurrying towards the TARDIS. He heard Jack swear as he gave chase. "I'm sorry, Doc."

Making it inside, he ignored the pain in his ankle as he hurried to the corridors. His ankle throbbed with every step and threatened to give out on him but he didn't care as he continued to hobble as quickly as he could. He cried out as his leg finally gave out and he fell hard to the floor. He put his hands out to stop himself and pain jolted through the cuts on his arms. Feeling pathetic, he curled into himself sobbing as Jack reached him.

"Come here," Jack cooed softly as he leaned down picking the Doctor up into his arms. The Doctor wrapped himself around Jack burying his face against Jack's neck, as once more he turned into a sobbing mess. He cried until he couldn't anymore and he went silent in Jack's arms. He didn't react as Jack picked him up carrying him off the TARDIS and out into Ianto's living room. He felt himself being set on the couch and felt Ianto's arms wrap tightly around him from behind as he continued to cling to Jack. He felt a soft kiss on the back of his head and another on the front. Feeling lost but safe in their strong arms, he let himself believe just for a moment that one day the three of them could be happy.


	31. Chapter 31

The Doctor was so content being held by the two men, that he forgot that Donna was still there. He was reminded as a cup of tea was offered to him and feeling slightly embarrassed about being caught in such an open display of affection, he untangled himself from the embrace so that he was sitting between them. He took the cup of tea, sipping the scalding liquid. It had only one sugar in it meaning that Donna was upset with him. He had learned quickly to judge how she felt by the amount of sugar in his tea. No sugar meant that she was mad while three meant that she was worried. He gave her a weak smile but he could tell that it did nothing to alleviate her worry.

Even if he didn't think he deserved the attention he was receiving, the Doctor quickly came to realize that he enjoyed being coddled by the three of them. At no time during the day was he left alone, even much to his embarrassment when he had to use the loo. Though Jack was kind enough to turn his back, giving him the illusion of privacy. While he was on the couch, however, he was constantly being touched either with quick hugs or in Jack's case gentle kisses on his head. He relished in being held for long periods by both Jack and Ianto as they sat quietly watching a movie. He even enjoyed just having their legs touch as they sat talking or eating their meals.

For dinner, Jack made a simple meal of bacon sammies with crisps. They ate around the small coffee table with Ianto, Donna, and Jack each choosing to indulge in a bottle of beer while the Doctor continued to sip his tea. He didn't mind the other's were drinking in front of him as he didn't really favor any alcohol in this body besides wine. In his last body, he would have gladly joined in on a beer, though he preferred the harder alcohols like whiskey or bourbon. With the meal finished, Donna stood up stretching. 

"I should be heading back to Chiswick," Donna told them with a yawn. 

"You're welcome to stay here tonight. We have plenty of room either here on the couch or in Conner's room," Ianto offered. 

"Conner has a room?" The Doctor questioned. He had been to the flat twice now and had never seen any indication of another room. He had just assumed that Conner shared a room with Jack and Ianto and would continue to share as he got older. 

"Yes, it's through that door," Ianto answered pointing to a door that was partially blocked by the TARDIS. Curious the Doctor got to his feet going over to the door. Opening it, he found a small room that was bright compared to the darker room he prepared aboard the TARDIS. The walls were left white with light brown furniture. The blue star blankets he had picked out were decorating the crib and the changing table. Jack or Ianto had also picked out a star mobile and had simple decorations on the walls. 

"What do you think?" Jack wondered as he came up behind the Doctor. He leaned on the TARDIS as he watched the Doctor stare into the room. 

"It's small but looks cozy," The Doctor told him. "It's also brighter than his room on the TARDIS." 

"He has a room on the TARDIS?" Jack questioned. 

"Of course he does," The Doctor answered indignantly and then continued in a lower voice that Jack almost missed. "Martha made me set it up." He didn't look at Jack as he turned and headed back to the couch. He flopped down on it, almost sitting on Ianto in the process. Ianto didn't mind as he wrapped an arm around the Doctor's shoulders, dropping a kiss on the top of his head. 

"I don't think I will fit in the crib," Donna told them as she looked in the room. The Doctor was right, the room was small. There was also no bed currently in it besides Conner's crib and she doubted that they could fit another bed in the room. 

"You still have your room aboard the TARDIS, Donna. You are always welcome to sleep there," The Doctor reminded her. 

"Now that sounds like a good idea," Donna agreed. She walked over to the couch giving her spaceman a hug before disappearing onto the TARDIS for the night. With her gone, Jack turned to the two men sitting on the couch. 

"Bed?" He questioned. Ianto shook his head no. 

"Not quite yet. Conner is going to want another bottle soon and I want a shower," Ianto answered. 

"Go shower, I can feed him if he wakes up before you are finished," Jack advised his lover. He switched places with Ianto on the couch taking the Doctor into his arms. He waited until he heard the water in the shower start before he began to speak. 

"You are going to have to talk about what happened sometime, Doc. Holding it in is what led you to this," Jack told him as he gently ran his fingers along one of the Doctor's bandaged wrists. "And to run away earlier today. You will never be able to move past this if you don't open up to someone."

"I will always have a reminder of what happened to me regardless of whether or not I talk about it," The Doctor argued softly. He looked towards the cot where his son was sleeping. 

"Do you resent Conner?" Jack questioned. The Doctor shrugged his shoulders. While he liked to think that he loved his little boy and didn't blame him for his birth, another part of him wished he had the courage to take the little green pill.

"I love my son," The Doctor answered finally. 

"I know you do but that's not what I asked. I asked if you resented him because of his birth. I know you are trying but it isn't fair to Conner. He doesn't need a father who only shows up for a few hours at night and refuses to bond with him because of the pain he carries over his birth. If you just talk to me or Donna, or Ianto, or Martha, or just about anyone else and let some of the pain go, it will get easier," Jack advised the Time Lord. The Doctor took a deep breath as he reached up to rub the back of his neck. Even if he didn't want to admit it Jack was right and he needed to talk. 

"I don't remember what happened," The Doctor told him honestly. 

"What do you mean you don't remember?" Jack asked him in confusion.

"I mean I don't remember. I had gone to a small bar to relax and then woke the next morning in a strange hotel room. I only knew something was wrong because a man I had never seen before came out of the shower," The Doctor whispered. He looked down as he remembered the confusion he felt at seeing the man who called him John. He had run from the hotel room as quickly as possible not looking at the blue skinned man. That night had changed his life and he realized Jack was right. He had let it control him. He had stopped openly trying new foods and had made sure that he was locked away safely in his TARDIS at night rather than spending the night in new places. There was even the fact that he hadn't tasted a drop of alcohol, even if he used to favor the occasional drink to help him sleep. Reaching over he picked up Jack's beer bringing it to his mouth. He scrunched his nose in disgust as the cool liquid crossed his tongue. He didn't care as Jack took the bottle from him, setting it back on the table. 

"What happened to the man?" Jack wondered as the Doctor offered no more information. 

"He can't hurt anyone ever again," The Doctor answered coldly. He leaned into Jack more, just taking comfort as Jack wrapped his arms tightly around him. They stayed cuddling quietly until Ianto finished his shower. He fed Conner and got him ready for bed, tucking him into the cot in their room. Climbing up on the bed, Jack laid on his back lifting both his arms. Ianto cuddled up to Jack on one side with the Doctor on the other each using his chest as a pillow. The Doctor smiled as he felt a soft kiss on the top of his head as Ianto reached over, laying his hand on the Doctor's side. The Doctor followed suit, resting his own hand on Ianto. Closing his eyes, he listened to Jack's heart as he drifted slowly off to sleep.


	32. Chapter 32

Over the next few days, they fell into a quiet routine around the flat. The Doctor had never enjoyed routines before, finding them tedious and boring. Much to his unhappiness, though, he found himself enjoying the company of four people who cared about him. Kisses on his head and cheek came freely from Ianto and Jack while Donna chose to hug him close. Conner was always available for a long cuddle when the Doctor needed it and with a lot of prodding, he even fed his son his first bottle. He watched Conner's eyes as he ate hungrily but only finished part of his bottle. While he seemed to be developing normally, the Doctor couldn't help but notice that Conner seemed sluggish as he moved his eyes to look at the Doctor. He also seemed overly floppy barely moving in the Doctor's arms. 

"Not feeling well," Ianto cooed as he noticed the Doctor move the half eaten bottle from the baby's mouth. He took Conner from the Doctor, gently patting his back. 

"Martha is going to be down tomorrow to check on the Doctor. She can examine him at the same time to make sure everything is alright," Jack informed them. The Doctor nodded, feeling guilty. Conner wasn't sick, that much he knew. 

When he was a child on Gallifrey, he had heard stories about children who didn't bond with their parents. If those children survived their infancy, they grew up with both developmental issues as well as learning problems. For the longest time, he didn't understand why the parents refused to bond with their children as even though he had been born and not loomed like a proper Time Lord, his own parents had still bonded with him. He thought he understood when he met other's who were in his current situation, but it took having Conner for him to truly understand how they could reject their child. Still, he couldn't bring himself to bond with Conner, not yet. 

Instead, he fought with himself as he sat quietly on the couch. He had chosen not to abort his child and carried him to term in order to give him a chance at life. Even if he hadn't wanted his son, he had left him with Jack to give him the best chance at life. In order for him to continue to live and grow, he needed to bond. He had already asked Jack to bond with Conner and been told no. That left him to bond with his son. He waited until late in the night after Donna had gone home since they planned on returning to Torchwood the next day. The three of them were laying in bed together with Ianto in the middle. The Doctor pretended to sleep as he listened to Jack tending to Conner. Spreading out, he left no room for Jack to cuddle with him as he waited for Jack to come back to bed. 

"Goodnight, little one," Jack cooed as he laid Conner back in his cot. The Doctor felt the blanket being pulled up higher on his body, tucking it around his shoulders before a gentle kiss was dropped on the top of his head. He sniffled softly rubbing his face as he turned it away from Jack. He heard Jack chuckle as the bed shifted as Jack climbed back on. He dared to open his eyes, waiting until he heard Jack's breathing even out. Very slowly, he eased himself from Ianto's arms being extra careful not to wake up the sleeping men. He paused as his feet hit the floor watching them sleep for a moment. When they didn't react to his climbing out of the bed, he crept slowly towards the door. It would have been very easy for him to run. To get on his TARDIS and take off, only he didn't. Instead, he gently picked his son up in his arms carrying him with him out to the living room. Sitting down on the couch, he laid Conner down on his legs. Reaching down with shaking hands he put his fingers to Conner's temples closing his eyes. 

"I'm so sorry, little one," The Doctor whispered as he tried to connect with his son's mind. The baby's mind was further from the surface than it should have been and the Doctor could only imagine how lonely he felt with no one to connect to. He had felt the same loneliness when the other Time Lord's were ripped from his mind but he had the TARDIS to help him. Conner had no one. He was gentle as he coaxed the babies mind closer to the surface. Tears pricked his eyes as he could feel unconditional love from his child. He had rejected his child, but Conner still loved him and he felt as if he didn't deserve that love. He leaned down, kissing Conner's forehead as he joined their minds together in a family bond. Releasing Conner's temples, he picked up his son cuddling him close. "I'm so sorry. Daddy is so sorry."


	33. Chapter 33

"Somebody's feeling better," Ianto mumbled the next morning as Conner screamed his unhappiness to the quiet room. The Doctor didn't give the other's a chance to get up as he pulled his tired body out of the bed. He had stayed up for hours last night, just holding his son and rocking him while he apologized. During that time he fed him, then changed his nappy before finally, exhaustion had overtaken his healing body and he had returned Conner back to his cot to sleep. Whether the other two men noticed his absence was unclear as they were curled up in each other's arms sleeping peacefully. He had taken his place beside Ianto placing himself as close as possible to the Welshman's back warming himself up as he drifted off to sleep. 

"Daddy's here," He cooed as he scooped Conner up in his arms. He was staring at Conner's face, happy to see that his eyes were focused on him, so he missed the look that crossed between Jack and Ianto as he called himself, daddy. He cuddled his baby close cooing that he was alright as he headed into the living room to change his nappy and get him a bottle. 

"Well that's new," Jack commented with a sleepy smile as he watched the Time Lord interact with his child. He kissed Ianto softly on the lips before pulling himself out of bed. He made a bottle for Conner while the Doctor changed his nappy. Snuggling his baby close, he took the bottle from Jack placing it in his mouth. Jack sat down on the couch beside him, wrapping his arm around the Doctor's shoulders. The Doctor yawned as he laid his head on Jack's shoulder. Jack dropped a kiss on the top of his head. 

"Someone's feeling better," Ianto commented as he brought out tea and coffee. He handed Jack his coffee and set the Doctor's tea on the coffee table. As he stood up straight, their eyes met for just a moment, letting the Doctor see a brief flash of anger that was gone just as quickly. "I am going to shower and then I will make breakfast while the Doctor showers."

"Sounds good," Jack responded. The Doctor waited until Ianto had crossed the small flat and closed the bathroom door before lifting his head so that he could look at Jack. 

"Is Ianto mad at me?" He questioned. Jack shook his head no.

"I don't think so, what makes you think he is mad at you?" Jack wondered. 

"Just curious," The Doctor lied. He smacked his lips, laying his head back down and closing his eyes. He didn't mean to fall back asleep but the next thing he knew a gentle hand was rubbing his shoulder. He opened his eyes to find Jack kneeling in front of him. 

"Time to wake up," Jack cooed softly. He yawned, sitting up he reached for his tea to find that it had gone stone cold. He quickly figured out that he had been asleep for a few hours, which explained why the tea was cold and why he was alone in the flat with Jack. 

"Where are Ianto and Conner?" He questioned sleepily. 

"Ianto is already at work and Conner is asleep in his cot," Jack answered. He picked up the Doctor's cold tea, heading into the kitchen to get him a new cuppa. "I would have let you sleep longer, but Martha is due at the hub in an hour and you have an appointment with her." The Doctor made a face as he considered running. Turning his head, he first looked to the TARDIS and then to the front door of the flat. Either were good options but had their drawbacks. If he took off on the TARDIS and she actually let him move, he couldn't bring Conner with him and he would miss Jack and Ianto. On the other hand, if he left through the front door, there was nowhere on earth that he could hide that someone couldn't find him. He missed his opportunity as Jack came back in the room with his tea and a banana. He ate the banana, then took his daily pills without complaint. He would have loved to stay on the couch with Jack all day but he wasn't going to be able to avoid Martha forever. So he took it upon himself to show he was being compliant and headed to the shower to start getting ready.

"I need to shave," he commented as he looked in the mirror after his shower.

"I can help you shave and also give you a haircut later today if you like," Jack offered. The Doctor reached up grabbing his hair and pulling it down in front of his face. It had gotten long in the last few months as he had stopped caring while he was in the last stages of his pregnancy with Conner.

"Alright," he agreed. Knowing that he had no other choice, he reluctantly dressed in his suit as he got ready to head to the hub. He was relieved that his suit jacket covered the bandages on his arms but he still put his long coat on. He retrieved Conner from his cot, cuddling him close for comfort as he followed Jack out of the flat to the SUV. He allowed Jack to buckle Conner into his car seat, then climbed into the passenger seat. He stared out the window as they made the short trip to Torchwood. He recognized the plas as the TARDIS's favorite refueling spot and that made him smile briefly. He cuddled Conner once again as he followed Jack into the building. He kept reminding himself that this wasn't the same Torchwood that had opened the rift letting the cybermen through and taking Rose from him. This Torchwood had been changed for the better by Jack. 

"Come on," Jack told him gently reaching out to take his hand as he paused in the entry way. He didn't let Jack as he held his head up, trying to show his confidence as he followed Jack into the hub. He had been in Jack's office and bedroom before but never into the main room. He took in the three people working on computers around a large machine. To one side there were stairs leading up to an office and to another room. He could see a large room with a window. Behind the window was a table with several chairs around it. He moved further into see two sets of stairs leading down. One set he couldn't tell where they went but the second led down to an autopsy room. He could see Martha waiting down in the room for him and he considered taking a chance with what was down the second set of stairs rather than going to her.

"You might as well get it over with," Jack whispered in his ear. He sighed knowing Jack was right. Reluctantly, he handed his son over to Jack setting off down the stairs. Reaching Martha, she wrapped her arms around him holding him tight. He returned the hug, holding her just as close. 

"I have been so worried about you," Martha told him. 

"I'm fine," he answered her automatically. 

"Don't you dare lie to me as we both know you aren't fine," Martha scolded him. He sighed hanging his head. She was right he wasn't fine, but he hoped silently if he kept saying it one day it would be true. Jack joined them a few minutes later and he released the hug as he followed her through a side door that led to a small lab. He was thankful for the privacy as for a moment he was worried that she was going to examine him where everyone could see. His relief quickly faded as Martha made him strip down to his pants and put a gown on. He was tolerant as she checked his eyes, ears, nose, and throat. He followed her instructions on breathing as she listened to his hearts and lungs. She was pleased to see that his incision was still healing well and that the rash on his stomach had begun to clear up. 

"Alright, I am done with the initial examination but I still want to check your rash and stitches. Do you want Jack to step out of the room while I do?" Martha questioned trying to respect his privacy. 

"No," He whispered. He removed his pants then laid back on the bed, turning his head away from her. Reaching out, he took Jack's hand in his gripping it tightly as he closed his eyes. She was quick but gentle as she checked on the rash that had once covered his genitals and bottom. Jack had to have been monitoring his showers as his skin was no longer bright red or warm to the touch. Finally, she removed the bandages from his wrist, seeing the damage he had caused himself. Jack had did a good job on the sutures, allowing her to rewrap his arms without having to disturb him any further. 

"Alright, Doctor, it looks like you're healing well. I want to see you again in about two weeks but next time I will come to the TARDIS," Martha told him. He nodded as he pulled his pants on under the gown then started on his trousers. She started to step out of the room to give him privacy to dress but Jack stopped her. 

"Before you leave, I would like you to examine Conner," Jack informed her. 

"Conner's fine," The Doctor spoke up, throwing the gown aside. 

"He hasn't been eating well and was acting lethargic yesterday," Jack reminded him. 

"That is because he needed to bond," The Doctor responded. He finished buttoning up his shirt, put his tie on and then started on the jacket.

"What do you mean bond?" Martha questioned. 

"A bond is the joining of minds. There are several different types of bonds including a marriage bond, family bond, and friendly bond. In order for a Time Lord's mind to grow properly, they bond with their parents at birth. When I bonded with him last night, his mind was further from the surface than it should have been which is why he wasn't acting normal. He will be fine now that we bonded," The Doctor explained. 

"You bonded with Conner?" Jack asked happily. The Doctor nodded. He smiled as Jack wrapped his arms around him tightly. He kissed the Doctor on the side of the head causing the Doctor to roll his eyes. More for Martha's benefit than the fact that he actually minded. 

"Still, I would feel better if I examined Conner just to make sure he is alright," Martha told them. 

"Fine," The Doctor agreed. He didn't look at her as he moved away from Jack and went out into the hub to look for Ianto. He wasn't sure where the young Welshman was or why he was mad at him but he was determined to find out.


	34. Chapter 34

Jack followed him out of the secondary room and into the autopsy room. He wasn't ready to let the Doctor be on his own yet as in the back of his mind he still worried that the Doctor was going to attempt to take his own life again. And while he was happy that the Doctor had finally bonded with Conner, a part of him wondered just how long the Doctor had been alone last night without anyone noticing. While the Doctor was alone anything could have happened, including him running off in the TARDIS with Conner. Jack sighed, Conner was the Doctor's son and he had every right to take his baby with him. Jack just hoped that he waited until the two of them were ready and not just because he had finally accepted his child. 

"Conner's this way," Jack spoke up as he started towards where he had left Gwen watching the infant. The Doctor had stopped following him, however, as he looked around the hub for the young Welshman. 

"Where's Ianto?" The Doctor questioned not seeing him. 

"He is probably down in the archives like normal. Do you want me to take you to him?" Jack asked. The Doctor nodded. Jack turned heading down the second set of stairs with the Doctor following him. At the bottom of the stairs was a line of cells. In the first one was a strange looking alien and the Doctor stepped closer for a better look. The creature attacked the cell causing the Doctor to raise his eyebrow as he inspected it. "Janet be nice."

"You call it Janet?" The Doctor wondered slightly amused. The creature listened to Jack, as she growled once more at the Doctor before backing off towards a bed on the other side of the cell. 

"Not sure what else to call her because she doesn't speak. She seems to respond to the name, though," Jack answered. Reaching into a bag beside the cell, he pulled out what looked like several cookies and placed them into the food slot. Janet rushed over, claiming the treats before returning to her corner. The Doctor watched her with interest. He was vaguely aware of her kind but he thought that they had gone extinct several years ago. "Come along, Doc, Ianto is this way."

He didn't listen right away as he continued to observe the creature. Hearing Jack clear his throat, he glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes. Jack motioned for him to follow him and he sighed. He would have to convince Jack to let him study the creature more closely at a later time. For now, he reluctantly turned away from the cell, letting Jack lead him down a short hall away from the cells. In the room at the end, he found an office that was filled with filing cabinets. On one end of the room was a large door with a lock on it. On the other was a large desk that was covered in papers with a single chair. Ianto was busy working on the computer that also sat on the desk as he typed up the paperwork in front of him. Hearing the two men enter the room, he paused in his work turning to look at them. His eyes narrowed briefly upon seeing the Doctor but he quickly wiped the look away as he turned his attention to Jack. 

"Can I help you, Sir?" He questioned his voice pleasant. 

"The Doctor has asked to stay with you while I help Martha to examine Conner and make sure that he is alright," Jack explained. Ianto glanced briefly at the Doctor. It was clear by his look that he didn't want the Doctor to stay but he didn't argue Jack's request.

"Alright," he agreed. 

"I'll be back soon, then we can all three go out for lunch," Jack told the two of them. The Doctor acknowledged that he heard Jack with a wave of his hand as he wandered over towards the large door. Pulling out his sonic, he scanned the door smiling to himself as he did. The door would be easy for him to hack even with its dummy wires and second passcode. Maybe after he finished exploring he would offer to help Jack create a more secure lock. First, though, he wanted to find out what was behind the door. 

"Would you like a cuppa?" Ianto offered behind him. 

"Why are you mad at me?" The Doctor wondered, not answering his question or turning around. 

"I'm not," Ianto answered immediately. The Doctor pocketed his sonic with a sigh as he turned around. Leaning against the door he analyzed the young Welshman. Ianto looked away first reaffirming to the Doctor that Ianto was lying to him. He continued to watch Ianto quietly until Ianto finally realized that he had no choice but to speak to the Time Lord. "You called yourself Conner's daddy."

"I am Conner's daddy. No matter how much I tried to ignore the fact that I was pregnant with him, or how far I ran after he was born, I still found myself wanting my son. Me being his father, though, doesn't mean I am going to take him from you and Jack. Even if I was allowed to travel at the moment, the TARDIS is no place for an infant or a toddler for that matter. He is safer living with you and Jack," The Doctor told Ianto. 

"What about when is older?" Ianto questioned still not sure. While he was relieved that Conner wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, he was still wary about the Doctor taking the child. 

"That's up to Conner. If he wants to travel with me on the weekends, we can always go to safe places. During the week, though, I suspect he will be busy with his studies and football," The Doctor responded. Ianto smiled. 

"Do you even know what football is?" Ianto teased him slightly. 

"That is the one with the orange ball isn't it?" The Doctor asked. Ianto shook his head no. "Oh well, that is for Jack or you to teach him." The Doctor smiled at Ianto and he smiled back relieved that Conner wasn't going anywhere. The Doctor's smile faded quickly, though, as a darkness filled his eyes. 

"What's the matter?" Ianto questioned as the Doctor started towards the door of the room. 

"They're hurting Conner," The Doctor responded his voice low but his eyes narrowing in his anger. He moving towards the autopsy room. He stormed into the room seeing Jack holding Conner while Martha had a needle stuck in his thigh, giving him an injection. Conner was screaming his unhappiness at them as Jack made gentle shushing sounds trying to soothe the baby.

"Doctor?" Jack asked seeing the Oncoming Storm staring at the two of them. He looked from Jack to Martha his unhappiness clear. 

"Conner's energy levels are a little low, so I am giving him a booster of energy medication to help his body convert the potassium he is receiving," Martha explained. The Doctor nodded slowly. He waited until she removed the needle before going forward and taking Conner from Jack. Before Jack had time to react, he was out the door pulling his sonic from his jacket in the process. Jack heard the sonic and the click of the door locking them in. 

"Shit," Jack swore rushing to the door. He tried unlocking the door but the door was stuck fast thanks to the sonic. Standing back, he kicked the door, and then kicked it again as it failed to budge. 

"Doctor, open this door," he yelled, knowing the Doctor was no longer out there but trying to get the Time Lord to let them out. In response, the lights in the room turned red as the perimeter alarms blared through out the hub. That only meant one thing. Someone had tried to exit through the main entrance of the hub without knowing the passcodes and Jack had a pretty good idea on who it was. Pulling out his cell, he messaged Ianto to find the Doctor as he fought with the door. He swore kicking the door harder and then throwing his full weight against the door. 

"Stand back," Ianto called through a moment later. Jack listened taking a step back. He heard Ianto kick the door from the other side, then kick it again. The door finally swung inward. Jack didn't wait as he rushed up the stairs. The hub was a hive of active as Tosh and Owen worked to turn off the alarms and bring the security system back online. At the same time, Gwen was typing furiously trying to bring back up the CCTV. One thing was clear, though, the Doctor and Conner were gone.


	35. Chapter 35

Unlike Ianto, Jack always thought that he would be alright once the Doctor came to take Conner again. He knew from the start that their time with the little boy was temporary and just hoped that he would continue to be like an uncle to the child once he was gone. Only he didn't want to see Conner leave like this, without warning with a father who was still on suicide watch. Not that he thought that the Doctor would hurt his child when the Doctor had done everything in his power to make sure that Conner was safe with people who would love him. The Doctor, on the other hand, wouldn't hesitate to put himself in danger if it meant protecting others, especially the ones he loved. He was also hurting still and Jack was terrified that he was going to try to end his life by his own hand again. 

"Where the hell is he?" Jack yelled at his team. No one answered him as they continued to work. Angry, Jack slammed his fist into the wall causing Gwen to jump. "Why the hell didn't anyone stop him?"

"We didn't seem him until he was already at the door, by then it was too late," Gwen answered him patiently. 

"If something happens to him, I am retconning all of you," Jack threatened them. 

"Jack," Martha drew out his name unhappily. 

"He doesn't mean anything by it, Martha. This isn't the first time that he has threatened to retcon us while angry and I doubt it will be the last," Ianto whispered. Martha nodded. He raised his voice as he addressed Jack. "Are we sure that he actually made it outside or is it possible that he is hiding somewhere in the hub?"

"I don't know. Did anyone actually see him leave?" Jack questioned. A course of no's sounded from his other members. "Ianto, go check the archives and the cells, Martha my office, room and kitchen, then report back here." Martha and Ianto took off towards the areas designated by Jack. They checked the hub but there was no sign of the Doctor anywhere meaning that he had managed to get outside before the hub went into the lockdown. Reporting back to Jack only succeeded in upsetting him more but there was little they could do until they managed to get the hub out of lockdown and the doors open. 

"Got it," Tosh called out as the lights turned back from red to the light fluorescent yellow that normally lit the hub. Jack typed the code in for the door relieved when the locks released letting him out. He ran out the visitor's entrance into the Plas. Twenty minutes had passed from the time that the time the lockdown started until he was able to leave. The Doctor could have been anywhere by now and Jack had no way of knowing which way the Time Lord went since he had taken down the CCTV. He just hoped that the Time Lord was back on his way to his TARDIS. He ran frantically towards his SUV, praying that he would catch him before he made it back to the flat. As he ran, though, out of the corner of his eye he saw a man sitting on the bench near the water. It took him a long moment to realize that it was the Doctor sitting staring at the water. He closed the door to the SUV as he sprinted to the Doctor's side.

"What the hell were you thinking? You not only locked Martha and me in the medical lab, you also put the entire hub on lockdown for the last twenty minutes," Jack screamed at him as he approached. The Doctor didn't look at him as he held Conner close to his body but he visibly flinched as Jack yelled at him but Jack wasn't done. He had spent the last twenty minutes thinking the worst and so while he was relieved to find the Time Lord hadn't gone far, that didn't stop his anger. 

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking clearly. All I could think about was the fact that Conner was in pain and I needed to get him out of Torchwood to somewhere he would be safe," The Doctor admitted. Jack was still angry but the Doctor's admission made him pause. He sat down hard on the bench beside the Doctor. 

"Have you been out here the entire time?" Jack questioned trying to speak quieter but ended up yelling still in his anger. The Doctor shook his head no as he absentmindedly moved Conner further away from Jack. Jack saw the movement and rubbed his temple as he talked through gritted teeth. "Where did you go?"

"Down towards the shops that I saw on the way here. I was going to get Conner ice cream or a pastery before I remembered he was too little. So I bought him a small bear instead," The Doctor told him. He reached into his pocket pulling out a small brown bear with a blue ribbon around its neck. Jack took it from him looking at it.

"When you disappeared from the hub, I was worried that you were going to disappear with Conner. While I know you have every right to take him, I am not ready to see him leave," Jack admitted. 

"I promised Ianto I wouldn't take him yet but I shouldn't have to ask when I want to see my son," The Doctor advised Jack. 

"You're right you shouldn't and if it wasn't for the bandages on your wrist, I wouldn't be worried about you disappearing with him," Jack snipped at him. The Doctor started to stand up and Jack sighed. Yelling wasn't accomplishing anything or making him feel better. He reached out taking the Doctor's arm stopping him from running. The Doctor paused in his movement as he continued to stare forward. "Sit down."

"So you can yell at me more?" The Doctor questioned his voice hollow. 

"No," Jack answered. The Doctor sat back down beside Jack, holding himself stiffly. Jack reached out laying a hand gently on his back causing the Doctor to flinch again. He sighed returning it to his side. "I'm sorry, I yelled at you but you had me worried Doc. Next time you feel the need to run, tell me and I will run with you. I will even give you the code so you can exit the hub without crashing our security system."

"I can help you update it," The Doctor offered softly trying to make amends. Jack smiled. 

"Maybe another day," Jack agreed. He lifted his arm inviting the Doctor into his arms. The Doctor hesitated for a moment before he leaned over laying his head down on Jack's shoulder. He reached out taking the bear from Jack's hand and tucked it beside Conner letting Jack wrap his arm around the Doctor's back, gently rubbing his arm. "Why don't we take a few minutes to relax, then the two of us can go back in the hub to get Ianto and I will see if Martha will babysit Conner so I can take the two of you out to lunch. Later I will take you home and help you shower and shave like I promised."

"Alright," The Doctor agreed. He sighed as he felt Jack kiss him on the top of the head. He turned to look back out at the water, listening to the waves lap against the cement wall. Conner's whimpers soon reminded him that he had taken the little boy without a bottle or a fresh nappy. Standing up, he accompanied Jack back into the hub. He didn't let Martha take Conner right away as he chose to feed him and then change his nappy. Then they were held up as the Doctor decided that he wanted to shave and have his hair cut before they went out to eat. Jack agreed, hoping that the Doctor wasn't just stalling because he had changed his mind. Looking in the mirror after Jack finished, he was pleased to see that Jack had managed to keep his sideburns even and that his hair wasn't too short on the top. 

"Ready to go?" Jack questioned as the Doctor stared in the mirror. 

"Yep," The Doctor answered, popping the p at the end. He was hungry and going out to eat did sound like a good idea, even if he was suspicious that he had unknowingly agreed to a date with the Captain.


	36. Chapter 36

Jack drove the three of them to a small little Italian restaurant that he enjoyed. He had considered carefully before choosing it as he wanted a place that had food that all three of them would eat. While the French restaurant that he often frequented with Ianto would have been a good choice, he didn't want Ianto to think that the Doctor was intruding on every aspect of their lives. Even if the Doctor did become a larger part of their lives, he wanted Ianto to have one place that was just for him. Reaching over, he took Ianto's hand in his squeezing it tightly. Ianto returned the gesture with a small smile on his face. Releasing his hand, Jack parked the SUV. Before the engine was off, the Doctor scrambled out of the backseat bouncing happily on his feet.

Together the three of them went inside with Jack holding the door open for the two men. They were taken to a small circular booth and the Doctor chose to sit on one side with Ianto sat on the other with Jack. Jack couldn't help but notice the way the Doctor kept pulling on his sleeves making sure that the bandages remained covered. Moving sides of the table, he took the Doctor's hand in his bringing his wrist to his mouth. He gently kissed the bandaged arm causing the Doctor to give him a weak smile. They snacked on bread as Jack and Ianto chose to indulge in a single glass of red wine each. The Doctor thought about joining them but with the medications, he was on he decided it would be best to stick with water. For lunch, Jack and Ianto both ordered pasta, while the Doctor decided to go with the salmon cakes. He picked at his food, however, as he listened to Jack and Ianto discuss work. 

"Not as hungry as you thought?" Jack questioned as he was almost done with his own meal of ravioli. Ianto had a couple bites on his plate while the Doctor had eaten only eaten half of one of the salmon cakes. 

"No," The Doctor agreed. He pushed the food around his plate. He pushed the plate towards Jack and Jack took the fork bringing a bite to his mouth. He offered the Doctor the next bite and the Doctor narrowed his eyes as he continued to stare at him. Undeterred, Jack moved his fork so that it was closer to the Doctor's mouth. Rolling his eyes, the Doctor accepted the bite of food. He reluctantly ate the rest of the salmon cake along with a few bites of Jack's pasta. Determining he was still hungry, Jack then proceeded to order dessert for the three of them. While he split a coffee dessert with Ianto, the Doctor wasn't too upset that he was left with a banana banoffee ice cream covered in toffee for himself. He ate the entire dessert without complaint, stopping before he licked the bowl clean. 

Their stomachs full, Jack paid the bill before they returned to the hub to continue working. Rushing inside, the Doctor retrieved Conner from Martha as she sat on the Torchwood couch holding him as he slept. The Doctor barely broke his stride as he snuggled his son to his chest. He was happy to have him back after their brief time apart but that didn't stop his plan. With Jack and Ianto in the main hub, he quickly made his way down the stairs to the archives. Jack swore as for the second time in a day, the lights turned red as the system was hacked. Only this time he had a pretty good idea where the Time Lord had run off too. 

"If you were that curious about what we keep in the vault, you could have asked me," Jack told him more calmly than he felt as he entered the room. The door to the vault was wide open and the Doctor was looking at the first row of labeled artifacts. 

"Then you would have lied to me because we both know that you don't need a hyper-bomb that you have mislabeled as an explosive device," The Doctor informed Jack. The caution sign warned that the explosion could take out a city block but the Doctor was positive it could take out more than that if placed in the wrong hands. 

"If you would actually look up the archive attached to the artifact, you would see that I disabled the device. The explosives that were inside that made it a hyper-bomb has been destroyed," Jack informed him as he stepped into the vault with the Doctor. He motioned to a number that was written at the bottom of the card. "All of the artifacts have basic information on the card in front of them but the details of what we know are linked to this number. So I would appreciate it if you read the file before you decided to judge me on being inept despite my years in the Time Agency as well as the time I spent traveling with you."

"I'm sorry," the Doctor apologized, hanging his head. 

"It's alright. Why don't you give me Conner for a little while and I will get you a tablet that you can use to pull up the archives," Jack suggested. He reached out for the little boy. 

"Mine," the Doctor cried out, turning so that he blocked Jack with his body.

"I'm not taking him far, Doctor," Jack promised surprised by the Time Lord's actions. The Doctor's face blushed with embarrassment as he kissed Conner on the top of the head. Jack could tell he was fighting with himself as he handed Conner over to Jack. Jack briefly left the vault, returning a moment later with the tablet. He sighed as the Doctor didn't wait for the password, instead, he used his sonic to unlock the tablet in order to begin reviewing the information. Rather than start another argument with the Doctor, Jack leaned against the wall holding Conner to his chest. The Doctor glanced at them out of the corner of his eyes, happy to see that Jack had kept his word and was keeping Conner close. He wasn't sure what came over him a moment before when he became possive over his son. Rather then figure it out, however, he instead focused on the artifacts inside the vault.


	37. Chapter 37

"Do you want to discuss what that was about?" Jack asked calmly as he watched the Doctor exploring the artifacts. The Doctor didn't look at Jack as he continued to examine one of the artifacts. He had been staring at the same one for the last ten minutes as he tried to figure out what it was. It was listed as an unknown weapon in the database but he wasn't sure if it was a weapon as he had never seen one before. Intrigued, he was trying to narrow down what planet it might be from so he could figure out its use as well. 

"I told you I was curious about what you kept down here," The Doctor answered on purposely misunderstanding. He put the artifact down picking up his sonic in one hand and the tablet in the other. He had been using the sonic to scan the item and then pull up the correct screen on the tablet. Now, he used it to enter in the information he knew about the artifact so that he could use the TARDIS to figure it out later. 

"While I don't like that you broke into my vault, I knew it was going to happen eventually. What I didn't expect is your sudden possessiveness over Conner," Jack informed him. The Doctor glanced over at him finally using his finger to push his thinking glasses back up. They had appeared from his pocket as he examined one of the first artifacts. The Doctor claimed they were just for thinking but Jack suspected he also needed them to see the words clearly. 

"If you will allow me to, I can reorganize your vault for you. I also plan on taking a few of the items and placing them in the TARDIS," The Doctor told Jack rather than explaining how he felt. 

"That's fine. You can also help me to build a new lock for the vault that is more secure. But only if you tell me why you felt the need to keep Conner from me. I know you were upset earlier when you heard felt Conner crying in pain, but you also know that I would never allow harm to come to him," Jack answered acknowledging the Doctor's ability to help with the vault while not letting him avoid talking about Conner. The Doctor sighed loudly setting down the tablet and sonic, he took off his thinking glasses. He rubbed the bridge of his nose with one hand as he laid his head against the shelf. 

"I don't know," he finally responded softly. He continued on with his voice barely above a whisper making Jack strain to hear him. "I haven't felt right since I became pregnant with him. And it could just be the hormones that changed in my body or the bloody pills that I have to take, but even though I know he is safe with you, I suddenly didn't want you to take him. I just needed him to be in my arms where I could protect him. Even now, I am fighting myself not to just take him from you." He took a deep breath. He had said more than he wanted to but there was no taking it back now. He knew Jack had heard ever word despite how low his voice was. 

"It's going to be alright," Jack informed him as he took a step forward coming up behind the Doctor. He held out the infant so that the Doctor could see his son out of the corner of his eyes. The Doctor reached out to take his baby bringing him to his chest in order to cuddle him close. Jack laid a comforting hand upon his back, running it slowly upon his spine. 

"You can't possibly know that," The Doctor told him. He straightened up pulling away from Jack so that he could look him in the eyes. 

"You're right I don't know that everything is going to be alright. Everything could go to hell tomorrow but one thing I have learned over the last one hundred years is that you have to keep moving forward," Jack responded. The Doctor saw a brief glimsp of pain in the Captain's eyes as he spoke. It ran deep and the Doctor wondered what happened to the man he knew beyond what Jack had told him. 

"I do move forward," The Doctor sighed. 

"So do I," Jack replied softly in the same tone. He understood the pain of moving forward alone. He out lived every one he had ever loved except for the Doctor, and would again. Even the young Welshman that had stolen his heart would only be with him for a moment in time. A moment that he planned to cherish for as long as possible. "I know it is hard Doctor, but you need to find someone that you trust to talk to. Someone that can help you carry a little of your pain."

"Talking doesn't help. It just makes the nightmares worse as my memories resurface. It is better just to forget," he informed Jack softly as he cuddled Conner closer to him.

"Until you try to take your own life again," Jack wondered gesturing towards the Doctor's arms. The Doctor looked down at the bandages.

"Memories didn't cause me to do this," The Doctor admitted. He had already told Jack more than he wanted to. Would it really hurt to open up to Jack? He knew that Jack wouldn't judge him or use the information against him. Jack had proven that time and again over the years including while they were on the valiant together. He had spoken to Jack during their long hours chained up together in the boiler room before the Master would realize that his energy headaches had faded. 

"Oh?" Jack questioned as the Doctor didn't elaborate. The Doctor slid down the shelf sitting down on the floor of the vault. Jack flopped down next to him. He didn't touch the Doctor or say anything to him as he waited for the Doctor to continue. 

"This body was no longer my own," The Doctor finally explained. 

"Because of Conner?" Jack clarified. 

"Him, the man who sired him, the creature on the planet midnight, they all own part of this body now. I just wanted my body to be my own again," the Doctor whispered. He leaned towards Jack and Jack lifted his arm allowing the Doctor to rest against him. The Doctor shuddered as a sob escape quickly joined by another one. He allowed Jack to comfort him as he came to the conclusion that Jack was wrong. Talking didn't help anything.


	38. Chapter 38

Jack sat holding the Doctor for a long moment on the floor of the vault. The Doctor cried, holding his son tightly to his chest after his admission that he had tried to change the body that was no longer his own. And even though Jack desperately wanted to, he wasn't sure how to help the hurting Time Lord. Memories, he could have handled. He had his own memories that caused him pain that he would rather forget. He could have talked to the Doctor for hours about pain from dying or that was inflicted on him by his once friend. During their hours together in the boiler room, they had discussed their lost childhood homes and different people they had met over the years. They had even at one point discussed the children they both had over the years. The Doctor had been vague about his three boys but Jack had told him about all the children he knew were his including his own son that he had carried at one time. Despite understanding the toll the Doctor's body had gone through, he had no words to help the Doctor with the fact that he no longer felt his body was his own. 

"Do you still want to regenerate?" Jack asked the Doctor softly. 

"Yes," The Doctor admitted. While he was trying, given the chance he knew that he would take the knife to his wrists again. 

"Is there anything I can do to help you change your mind?" Jack questioned and the Doctor shrugged. Jack had already done so much for him. Both him and Ianto had spent three days cuddling him and making him feel loved. He didn't want it to end even if he did feel like he was intruding in their lives. "Would going back to the flat help?"

"No," The Doctor answered. He used his sleeve to wipe his eyes. He started to pull away from Jack, but Jack held him tightly not letting him move quite yet. He just needed to feel the Doctor's cool skin against his and know that the Time Lord was safe in his arms. The Doctor sighed, resigning himself to the fact that Jack wasn't ready to let go yet. Not that he really minded. Jack body ran hot due to the autron energy that kept him alive and it felt good in contrast to his cooler Time Lord body. The moment was ruined as Ianto came running into the vault.

"Jack," Ianto gasped slightly out of breath from running down the stairs. "I'm sorry but you're needed."

"What's the matter," Jack asked quickly but carefully extracting himself from the Doctor's arms and getting to his feet. 

"Something organic has come through the rift landing right in the vicinity of a known weevil den," Ianto stated. 

"Shit," Jack swore starting towards the door. He stopped mid step, almost tripping over his own feet as he remembered the Doctor. He couldn't take the Doctor with him and put him at risk with the weevils. Nor could he leave the Doctor behind when he was still suicidal. 

"Go, I'll stay here with him and Conner," Ianto told Jack. 

"Are you sure?" Jack wondered. As Ianto nodded, Jack took a step towards his Welsh lover. He pushed their mouths together kissing him deeply for a brief moment before turning towards the door. Both Ianto and the Doctor could hear Jack yelling orders at the rest of the team as they rushed towards the exit on their way to the weevil den. The hub went silent of human noise leaving Ianto and the Doctor alone with Conner in the vault. The Doctor didn't look at Ianto as he pulled himself to his feet turning back to the artifacts. He wasn't able to hold his son, hold the tablet and sonic while looking at the artifact but that didn't stop him from trying. Ianto left the Time Lord alone for just a minute as he went up to Jack's room. He quickly found what he wanted returning to the Doctor's side. 

"Here try this," Ianto offered, holding out the baby carrier. The Doctor glanced at it before returning his attention to the artifacts. 

"I'm not wearing that," he advised Ianto. Ianto sighed stepping closer. 

"Jack said the same thing at first and I will tell you the same thing I told him. Wearing this will free up your hands allowing you to keep Conner close to you in order to continue to work unless you want me to take him or to put him in his cot," Ianto suggested. The Doctor resisted telling Ianto mine as he held Conner a little tighter. Ianto held out the carrier again and the Doctor debated with himself as he turned allowing Ianto to help him put the carrier on. Once Conner was secured to his chest, he turned back to the shelf picking up the tablet and his sonic. He had to admit that it was easier to work now that he had both hands free. Feeling more confident he set to work. Keeping one eye on the Doctor, Ianto left the vault returning to his filing. 

When Jack returned a few hours later, he was covered in mud and had a very unhappy dog like creature in a crate. The animal was whining continuously as it scratched at the pet carrier. Jack ignored the animal for a moment, setting it down in his office. Going to his room, he stripped off the muddy clothes throwing them in the trash bin. He showered, then dug the clothes out transferring them to the laundry basket for Ianto to wash. He dressed in a clean pair of clothes then headed down to the vault to see his lover and the Doctor. Going down the stairs, he could hear music playing loudly and going into the archives, he found the room empty. He moved further in, a surge of angry surprise going through him as he looked in the vault. 

His once clean vault was torn apart with piles of artifacts spread all over the floor. He watched on as the Doctor picked up an item scanning it with his sonic before handing it to Ianto to put away. Ianto made sure to put the correct archive card in front of the artifact. Neither one of them noticed him as they laughed and listened to the music. Pushing the anger aside, Jack went further into the vault. The Doctor turned smiling at him and revealing Conner strapped to his chest. Conner was awake but content on his daddy's chest. 

"What are you doing?" Jack asked the obvious as it was clear to him they were reorganizing the vault. The Doctor pointed his sonic towards the door and the music went quiet allowing him to speak to Jack. 

"Cleaning," The Doctor answered. "Your catalog of artifacts was hard to understand so I decided to fix it. Once we are finished you will be able to find an artifact quicker and will also be able to easier identify as well as store new artifacts that come through the rift." 

"Is it safe to leave them laying on the floor like this?" Jack questioned. He knew what was in his vault and he didn't like thinking of a hyper bomb laying on the ground regardless of whether or not it was defused. 

"All the dangerous artifacts are near the back of the vault and the explodey ones are stored already," The Doctor responded. "It is going to take me a few more hours to finish rearranging the vault and then I have several items that I need to identify."

"Then that can wait until tomorrow. Right now, I need you to come with me and help me to identify the animal we found," Jack informed the Doctor. The Doctor's eyes lit up and he happily followed Jack out of the vault. Ianto secured the vault behind them causing the Doctor to chuckle as they all three knew he could just let himself back in. Hooking his arm through Jack's, Ianto kissed him softly on the cheek welcoming him back. Jack took Ianto's hand squeezing it as they approached the office. The creature had gone momentarily quiet but it began whining again as they approached. 

"What has the mean Captain done to you?" The Doctor cooed. He unhooked Conner from his chest, passing him to Jack before kneeling down in front of the crate.

"Careful Doc," Jack warned as he adjusted the baby. 

"He's terrified, Jack. Think how you would feel if you were just taken from your home by a rift and then forced into a cage that is too small for you, by a creature you have never seen before," The Doctor chastised Jack as he opened the crate. The creature scrambled as far back in the cage as possible as the Doctor held his hand out to it. "I'm not going to hurt you. I know the mean Captain put you in this horrible cage but he was just trying to help. You're safe, though, I promise no one is going to hurt you. So come out and let me see you."

Ianto and Jack watched as the Doctor slowly coaxed the creature out of the crate. It walked out, sniffing the air as its large brown eyes searched the room. In the light of the hub, it was clear to see that it looked like a small dog with large pointed ears and a rounded face. Its body was long and skinny with canine front legs but its back legs were longer and almost rabbit like. It was a strange looking creature with its fluffy gray fur and short tail. The Doctor placed his hand on its back stroking its fur slowly. 

"You are beautiful," He cooed. Jack didn't see it as the creature looked weird to him.

"Do you know what it is?" Jack questioned and the Doctor nodded. 

"It's a CaniOryct. They live on a small planet on the other side of the galaxy. It will be a quick jump in the TARDIS to take him home," The Doctor explained. 

"Is he dangerous?" Jack wondered. 

"He can be, just like all creatures but he isn't going to attack for no reason if that is what you are asking," The Doctor explained. 

"Alright, then can you please put him back in the crate so we can get him back to the flat. We can take him home real quick and then settle down for the night." The Doctor ignored Jack as he picked the creature up in his arms heading for the hub doors. Jack and Ianto exchanged as Jack started after him. Ianto picked up the crate chasing after the two men as together they left the hub.


	39. Chapter 39

The Doctor climbed out of the SUV immediately going to the back to get the of the crate. He had reluctantly agreed to put the CaniOryct in the crate on the ride back to the flat as they didn't know how it would react to Conner. The Doctor knew that he would never forgive himself if the creature hurt his son due to his own thickness while helping it. That didn't mean he liked it. Nor did he like hearing the creature whine pitifully as it scratched on the cage desperately looking for a way out. Despite feeling bad for the creature, he left him in the crate as he carried him up to Ianto's flat. Jack let them inside and he crossed straight over to the TARDIS disappearing into the blue box. He walked around the console getting it ready for the short trip while he waited for Jack and Ianto to join him on board. 

"I know and I'm sorry. It is only for a short time longer," he promised the CaniOrcyt as it whimpered at his feet. He had set the cage beside the captain's chair so that he could keep an eye on the creature but it only seemed to upset it more. He looked down to see it looking up at him with large scared eyes through the bars. Kneeling down, he reached one finger in order to scratch the creature on its head. It reacted immediately turning its head to snap at him. The Doctor pulled back quickly. 

"Are you okay?" Jack questioned coming on to the TARDIS to see the Doctor jumping back. 

"Yeah," The Doctor answered looking at his finger. The creature had managed to graze the skin, causing thin red lines of blood to appear. Jack came up behind him looking at his hand. 

"We should go to the medi-bay and clean those cuts," Jack suggested. The Doctor shook his head no as he got to his feet. 

"It's not that bad," the Doctor informed him. 

"Even so, he is a creature from another planet with unknown bacteria in his mouth. I would feel better if we cleaned the cuts with antiseptic, just in case," Jack told him. After years of working at Torchwood, he didn't take bites or cuts from alien creatures lightly. He had watched more than one companion and friend over the years get infections and lose limbs from seemingly harmless cuts. The Doctor opened his mouth to protest again but Jack wouldn't be swayed. "Either we go to the medi-bay and clean your hand or I keep the creature here under quartine for the next two weeks."

"Fine," The Doctor huffed. Jack went to the TARDIS doors first to inform Ianto they would be in the medi-bay when he finally made his way on board. He had stopped off to get Conner fresh diapers as well as more formula, just in case. Jack made his way to the medi-bay with the Doctor. The Doctor stood there unhappily as Jack took a swab of the cut, putting it in the drawer for the TARDIS to test. He then cleaned the cut with a strong antiseptic that made the Doctor hiss and try to pull away from him. Finally, he wrapped his finger in a clean bandage. By then the TARDIS returned the results that the bacteria wasn't dangerous to the Time Lord and no further treatment would be needed beyond cleaning the cut. Happy with the results they went back to the control room. 

"Ready?" The Doctor asked as they entered to find Ianto sitting on the Captain's chair with Conner. He had Conner in his arms as he had grown tired of the car seat and the carrier. He was still fussing unhappily in Ianto's arms. 

"Yeah," Ianto commented as Jack nodded. The Doctor smiled as he pulled the handbrake sending them on their way. The TARDIS rocked towards the side and Jack put a steadying hand on Ianto's shoulder to keep him on the chair. The Doctor ran around the console hitting buttons and pulling levers as the TARDIS rocked the other way. Conner screamed louder as Ianto held him close and the Doctor was momentarily distracted by his son's distress. He missed getting the next sequence into the console on time causing the TARDIS to shudder violently throwing him to the floor.

"Sorry," The Doctor apologized as he pulled himself quickly to his feet. 

"Is it always this bumpy?" Ianto questioned using one arm to hold Conner tightly to him as he gripped the seat with the other. 

"Usually," Jack answered. The Doctor glanced up at them as he tried to enter the sequence again. He pulled a face at Jack's comment before turning his attention back to the controls. Jack made sure that Ianto was steady then hurried to the console to help the Doctor. While he wasn't able to drive the TARDIS by himself, he knew enough in order to help the Doctor steady her. With his help, they quickly had the TARDIS flying smoothly on to her destination.

"Is he alright?" The Doctor asked as he was able to step away from the controls and check on his son. He couldn't tell why Conner was so unhappy as he just felt a general distress coming from his young son. 

"As far as I can tell, he is just overstimulated and tired of being held. I will lay him down once we get back to the flat," Ianto commented. 

"Nonsense, he can sleep in his cot here," The Doctor stated. Leaning over he took Conner from Ianto carrying him into the corridors. Ianto and Jack both followed as he took the screaming infant a short way down the hall. He opened a plain looking door next to an elaborate oak door that Jack knew was his room. Looking inside, Jack paused surprised by the elaborateness of the room. The crib, dresser and rocking chair were made of the same dark wood that had red tones to it. Though the lighting was soft it enhanced the brightness of the galaxy that was painted on the ceiling and down the walls. The stars shone brightly and Jack was temporarily mesmerized by it. He stared up in awe, amazed by the detail that had gone into the painting.

"Did you paint this, Doc?" Jack questioned. 

"I did. It's the Kastabourous system. His heritage and my home. I thought since he would never be able to visit it, he should at least be able to play under the stars I loved so much," The Doctor explained as he laid Conner down in the cot. He kissed him softly on the head, cooing he loved him as the baby continued to scream. Straightening up, he watched Jack pull his eyes away from the ceiling to look at him. Their eyes met and Jack's heart broke as he saw the pain in the Time Lord's eyes at the mention of his lost home. He didn't think about his actions as he crossed the room taking the Doctor into his arms holding him tightly. Ianto came up from behind, wrapping his arms around the Doctor's back and laying his head on his shoulder. Together they held the Doctor kissing him on the back of his head and on his cheek making him feel loved. He reveled in the feeling of the two men that he was quickly coming to care deeply for holding him. He sighed as the TARDIS alerted him that the landing sequence had begun and he had to pull away from the warmth they provided. 

"I'll stay here with Conner," Ianto informed them as he stood over the little boy. He had calmed down now that he wasn't being held and was fighting sleeping with soft cries. Ianto made gentle shushing noises as he reached out to rock the cot softly. Leaving him to tend to Conner, Jack and the Doctor returned to the control room. 

Despite landing at the coordinates the Doctor input, he refused to let the creature loose yet. He wanted to be positive that they were in the right place and in his territory. If they weren't and just released the creature anyway he could wind up hurt or dead and the Doctor wasn't going to let that happen. At least that is what he explained to Jack as the quick trip turned into another hour of the Doctor scouting the woods they landed in. Jack suspected the Doctor was really just curious about the new planet but the Doctor denied it. Still, the planet was beautiful with its bright red sun and large old trees. It was obvious that this planet hadn't been touched by settlers yet as the undergrowth was thick making it hard to walk. Jack tailed after the Doctor making sure he was safe as the Doctor confirmed they were in the right place. Finally, he returned to the TARDIS and let the CaniOrcyt loose. It huffed unhappily at them as it turned its tail up running into the woods. The Doctor watched it disappear, then closed the door. 

"Ready to go home?" Jack wondered. The Doctor looked at him curiously. 

"I am home," The Doctor responded, patting the coral. The TARDIS hummed happily blowing warm air on her thief. 

"I meant are you ready to return to the flat," Jack clarified. 

"Yeah," The Doctor sighed. Going to the controls, he input the coordinates for Ianto's flat. Glancing up at Jack, he made sure he wasn't paying attention as he then hit the randomization button next to the coordinates. Trying not to smile, he wondered where they would end up as he sent the TARDIS on her way.


	40. Chapter 40

The Doctor danced around the console, hitting buttons and pulling levers. He turned faucets and rang a bike bell a few times. He smiled as he received a quick hug as he made his way past Jack, who was still unaware they weren't heading back to Ianto's flat but onto a new destination. The Doctor didn't let on as he returned to the front of the console to begin the landing sequence. He casually hit the button to turn off the randomization as he worked. Finally, he placed the handbrake back on securing her in place. Keeping his face as blank as possible, he watched as Jack strolled over to the door opening it. 

"Doctor," Jack drew his name out in annoyance as outside was not Ianto's living room like Jack expected but a barren wasteland. "Where are we?"

"We should be at Ianto's flat," The Doctor answered narrowing his eyes in what he hoped was confusion. He glanced down at the coordinates, double checking that the randomization button was turned off. Turning to the monitor, he couldn't help the smile on his face as he saw that they were on a new planet with a new landscape to explore. He scolded the TARDIS softly for not listening to his directions while mentally he connected with her letting her know his excitement and thanking her for bringing them to the planet. Jack came up the ramp and around the console looking at the coordinates that the Doctor had set. He looked suspiciously at the Time Lord upon seeing that the coordinates were indeed set for Ianto's flat. He reached for the handbrake and the Doctor's face fell. He put his hand on top of the brake to stop Jack from sending them home. 

"Jack," He couldn't help the whine that escaped as he wanted to explore the planet that the TARDIS had chosen for him. 

"We agreed to one quick trip in order to drop off the creature. Now we need to get back to Ianto's flat and have dinner while we settle down for the evening," Jack explained to him. 

"I just want to see what is out there. Please, Jack, it will just take five minutes," The Doctor practically begged. He hated Jack for making him feel that he had to beg to explore a new planet. 

"Fine," Jack relented as he was also curious about what was outside the door. He put his hand down heading back to the doors with the Doctor happily following him. He grabbed his coat, putting it on as together they stepped out onto the barren land. The day was warm out despite Jack expecting a wind chill due to the landscape. Ahead of them was a deserted plain with a single large tent sitting on it. Looking behind the TARDIS, though, revealed a destroyed city. Buildings were crumbling, from old age. The roads had grass growing up through the cracks but no people or animals could be seen in the deserted city. 

"Where are we?" Jack wondered. He turned his attention back to the land in front of them and once again besides the large tent he could see no evidence of humans. 

"The Wastelands of Dacavo. I had heard of this place before but I thought it was only a myth," The Doctor explained as he started towards the large tent. "Legend says that there was a large war that destroyed the planets main cities. Those who survived, broke into two groups as they settled into the Wastelands that was now the mainland of the planet. While it is safe to wander the Wastelands during the day, at night you must move on or the savages will find you."

"Then we should leave," Jack told him in concern. 

"Not yet because there has only ever been one reason that I have wanted to come to Dacavo and if I am right, and I am positive I am, then that is the Circus at the End of the World. The greatest show that the planet has ever seen and the only safe place at night from the Savages," The Doctor told Jack excitedly. 

"You want to go to a circus?" Jack questioned not sounding as excited as he glanced at the Doctor. The Doctor nodded happily as he stared out towards the tent. "What if you're wrong about the scavengers, Doc? If it was just the two of us, I wouldn't be worried but your son and my lover will also be with us. I don't want to put the two of them in danger just so you can see a circus."

"The circus is safe-ish," The Doctor reiterated. Jack rolled his eyes and the Doctor sighed. While he knew Jack was right and they had to think of the two people waiting for them on the TARDIS, he really wanted to go to the show. He hadn't been lying when he told Jack he had wanted to come to the planet's circus ever since he first heard of it and he felt that if he missed it this time he would never get an opportunity to see the show again. "I will move the TARDIS closer to the exit that way if the scavengers do show up we can be out of the tent and back to safety in a matter of minutes."

"Alright, let's go to the circus," Jack agreed. The Doctor smiled, turning to hug Jack tightly. Jack hugged him back, unable to contain his own smile. Letting go, they returned to the TARDIS. The Doctor input the coordinates for the circus into the TARDIS's memory. He changed the actual coordinates to Donna's home making the quick trip to retrieve his companion. He wasn't sure if Donna would actually enjoy the circus but he wanted to share it with her. Landing in her front yard, he raced towards the TARDIS doors.

"Wait here," he told Jack as he hurried off. Jack half listened as he followed the Doctor to the door watching the Doctor race up the steps. He knocked on the door, bouncing on his heels as he waited for the door to open. With some of his past companions, he would have landed directly in their homes or bedrooms in order to pick them up. He only made that mistake once with Donna. He didn't soon forget the slap on his arm as she yelled at him for barging in on her. He wondered briefly if he still had the red mark or the bruise but he wasn't able to see it through his jacket or long shirt. 

"I said I have it," Donna's voice carried through the door. She had heard the TARDIS landing out front and made her way down from her room before her mother could answer the door. The door opened and Donna smiled seeing her spaceman bouncing excitedly on the front step. 

"Come on, Donna. We have to hurry or we are going to be late," he told her grabbing her hand. 

"Late for what, Spaceman," Donna questioned him. 

"The circus," the Doctor answered happily. He hurried down the stairs, dragging Donna after him into the TARDIS with him. He saw Jack shake his head out of the corner of his eyes, but it didn't bug him. He hurried up the ramp, sending them back on their way. While they traveled Jack went into the back of the TARDIS to retrieve Ianto. He also got Conner from his cot putting a fresh nappy on him before strapping him to his chest. The three of them returned to the control room as the Doctor landed the TARDIS. Stepping out this time, the tent was lit up against the black sky of the wasteland. They followed a crowd of people through the opening of the tent into a large open area. Most of the crowd was humanoid from the planet but scattered among them Jack saw people with blue skin and also a four-legged creature that was chatting happily to something that looked almost like a cat but with lizard like scales. 

They found a seat close to the doors where they could get out easily if necessary but still have a good view of the show. There was little to see as the crowd wandered in but the set up for the circus. There was a large circle on the floor with a wire above and a rope swing for the act. Once the crowd was settled, a tall skinny man with a long face and long black clothing. A hat stretched high above his head as dark as the rest of his clothing. The lights dimmed focusing on the man as he smiled at the crowd. 

"Ladys and gentlemen, welcome to the circus at the end of the world," the Ringmaster called out. The crowd cheered, clapping as others joined the man in the circle. Every one of them as unusually tall and skinny just like the man. Their movements stiff, almost robotic as they made their way around the ring. Clowns with sinister make-up juggled balls that reflected the lights above and sticks that had red on them. Their black and white clothing looked dirty and old. The acrobats came next their clothing just as black and dirty. They flipped and twirled, climbing up to the ceiling and flipping back down until they came to a halt just before touching the ground. As they flipped across the ground, Jack soon found himself forgetting their rugged appearance and just enjoying the show. He made sure, however, to keep one eye constantly on the door. The last thing he wanted was for the scavengers to take them by surprise. 

"Try to relax, sir," Ianto whispered as Jack distracted him by turning towards the door again.

"I am relaxed," Jack responded. Ianto made a noise as he could tell Jack was tense about something. "I am just keeping an eye on the door in case scavengers show up."

"Scavengers?" Ianto asked in confusion. 

"They track the people on this planet, causing mayhem and stealing their provisions, but like I told Jack, we are safe here. You don't need to worry about the scavengers," The Doctor informed Ianto. 

"Yes, but you didn't explain why they avoid the circus," Jack argued. 

"Quiet," Donna snapped as she missed what was being said down in the ring do to their talking. 

"Sorry," the Doctor mumbled turning his focus back on the circle. They watched as the clowns juggled fire before animals were brought out to perform. The Doctor had never quite enjoyed watching animals being forced to perform but he still enjoyed the performance. Sooner than he would have liked, the lights were being raised in the tent and people were climbing to their feet. Jack unstrapped Conner and handed him to his father before making his way outside to check that it was clear. The rest of them followed him, with both Jack and Donna surprised that they made it through a trip without having to run for their lives. The Doctor sent the TARDIS back into the vortex once they were all on board. It was a short trip to take Donna home and then to take them back to Ianto's flat. 

From there they settled down for the evening. The Doctor actually found himself enjoying his time spent with the two men as together they ate a simple dinner of chicken with rice. He cared for Conner making sure that he was fed and bathed before settling down to watch the telly with Jack and Ianto. Due to their long day at the circus, though, the three of them found themselves heading to bed early. Ianto went to the bathroom to shower, while Jack changed into a pair of sleeping trousers. The Doctor laid Conner down in his cot, then climbed up on the bed. He sat there waiting as Ianto came in first taking a spot on the opposite side. Jack joined them last, settling down between the two men. The Doctor snuggled up to Jack, as he reached out to lay his hand on Ianto's waist. Ianto smiled sleepily at him, turning his head to kiss Jack. Their kiss was far from chaste but less passionate than they would normally share in the privacy of their bed. The Doctor tried not to watch as he ran his hand slowly up Ianto's side resting it against the side of chest. Breaking the kiss with Jack, Ianto leaned forward kissing the Doctor softly on his forehead. The Doctor hesitantly returned the kiss with one of his own on Ianto's check, then a quick peck on Jacks. Laying his head back down he felt Jack kiss him on the top of the head, as together they settled down to sleep.


	41. Chapter 41

The Doctor lay awake, alone in bed feeling antsy. It had been two weeks since they dropped the CaniOryct back at its home then went to the circus. Since that day, the TARDIS had remained parked in the corner of Ianto's living room and he had been forced to become domesticated. The days were routine with waking up in the morning and going to Torchwood for the day. There he was given a little bit of freedom, as long as he could see one of the other members. In the two weeks that he had been helping out there, he had cleaned up the vault and replaced the alarm system on it, had helped Tosh with her rift project, helped Jack categorize new artifacts and began working on a new lock for the main door as well as various other minimal tasks around the hub. While it kept him busy during the day, at night he was made to return to Ianto's flat. Once there, they would relax watching a movie or just the telly while they ate dinner together before climbing into bed together. 

While a part of him knew that he was being kept in Cardiff due to his own actions, a larger part of him just wanted to run. He longed to go into the TARDIS, set the controls to random and see where he ended up because while the TARDIS hardly ever took him where he wanted to go, she usually took him where he was needed. He was linked to her telepathically so she always knew if he needed to run across an open field, save a city, or just watch a star being born. Even now he could hear her humming to him, offering him comfort in the long night. He rolled onto his back staring up at the ceiling as he considered trying to sneak through her doors. There were just two things that were stopping him, though. One was the little boy who was sleeping peacefully in his cot on the other side of the room. Conner wouldn't understand why he left and truthfully the Doctor didn't want to leave him again. He wanted to watch his son grow and hear him call him daddy. The other was the two men that he was coming to care deeply about. At night, he would join Jack and Ianto in their bed to sleep but he would often wake up to find himself alone. Even now, he could hear Ianto and Jack in the living room enjoying each other's bodies. 

He had once enjoyed sex. He had slept with more than one person over the years before the Time War had taken everything from him, including his love of life. Rose had given that back to him and on a lonely night, after he thought he had lost her, he had given into his feelings for her. Their bodies had moved as one under the blankets in her room and while he would deny sleeping with her to any of his other companions, for it was none of their business anyway, he would always cherish that memory. Even if for the longest time he felt that it had been a mistake because it wasn't long after that she was taken from him permanently. He had often wondered the first few nights as he laid in bed holding her coat against his chest if it would have hurt less to lose her if he hadn't given into his feelings for her. It had taken him a long time to move on and he regretted how he treated Martha due to his pain of losing her. 

Then there was Jack. He considered sleeping with him many times over the years. He had almost given into his feelings before the Gamestation changed everything causing Jack to be immortal and hard to look at. Even the TARDIS had run, taking him to the end of the universe to try to escape the immortal. That decision changed his life as the Master was awoken once more to wreak havoc on the Earth. He had come to care for the con man again over the long year as he was able to look past the immortal light that offended his senses and see Jack for the man he was. In the end, Jack had refused to travel with him, not that he really blamed him. That year had been difficult and he understood Jack just wanted to get back to his normal life. The Doctor had considered visiting him but the man who sired his son changed everything. Even if he hadn't, the Doctor knew that he would never go to Jack for a one night stand. Even if he tried, Jack had Ianto and that was the way it should be. 

The Doctor turned rolled on his back, slipping his hand down his stomach. He stopped just above his groin as he tried not to listen to the two men whispering each other's names. He knew that if he got up and went out there Jack would ask him to join in. He wasn't as sure if Ianto would allow it because while kisses and hugs came freely from the young Welshman, he reserved any other touches for Jack. He felt dirty as he slipped his hand lower, touching himself for the first time in years. His body responded to the stimulius and he grew harder. He brought himself quickly to release, biting back the groan that threatened to escape his lips. Ashamed of his actions, he removed his hand quickly from his trousers. Standing up, he listened for a moment to make sure that Jack and Ianto were finished before opening the bedroom door. Trying not to look at the two men lying naked in each other's arms on the couch, he raced across the living room and into his TARDIS. He ran up the ramp, pulling the lever that would lock the door keeping Jack on the other side. The TARDIS hummed at him in concern but he ignored her as he just had to get away for a moment. Hoping that they would forgive him, he pulled the handbrake sending the TARDIS on her way. 

-DW-

Donna never realized the reason he showed up at her doorstep in the middle of the night asking her to travel with him. She didn't consider the fact that her spaceman was once more running from something as he took her to Shan Shen. He just needed a moment to feel alive again as they wandered the market. He introduced her to a drink that he had favored and they bartered for trinkets for her grandfather. He laughed feeling alive again as he tried not to think of the men that he had left in Cardiff. He promised himself that he would return to them that night and deal with Jack's anger. That was until Donna entered the Fortune Teller's tent. A parallel world was created due to the Trickster's Brigade. Everything was put right but in that world, Donna had met a young woman who told her one thing that the Doctor couldn't ignore. Just two words that would change his life once more. Bad Wolf.

"Doctor, what is it? What's Bad Wolf?" Donna questioned him as they raced back into the TARDIS. The TARDIS was red inside as her cloister bells rang throughout the ship. 

"It's the end of the universe," The Doctor answered. As happy as he felt that Rose was returning, he also felt conflicted. His life had changed drastically during the years that she had been gone. He found himself telling this to Donna, explaining how she had met Rose as they hurried back to Earth. Landing, he rushed out to find nothing had changed. It was Saturday now, and the world looked normal. Going back in, he started to read the monitor, wondering if he was wrong. He flicked a few switches and the TARDIS shook violently. 

"What the hell was that?" Donna wondered. 

"I don't know, it came from outside," He told her. He ran to the door, opening it to see what had caused the TARDIS to shake. It was apparent immediately, though, as he stared out into the empty space. Donna was yelling at him wondering what he did but even before he checked the readings he knew in his hearts that they hadn't moved. The earth was gone and with it, he had lost both Jack and his son. Filled with regret, he wondered how he was going to get them back.


	42. Chapter 42

In retrospect, running from the Shadow Proclamation after seeking their help hadn't been the smartest idea. They would be angry at him for refusing to allow his TARDIS to be taken into war once more. He had made the mistake in the past of assisting them during the Time War and it was because of that they allowed him to enter their base, providing him the help that he needed to figure out that Earth wasn't the only planet was taken. It was Donna, though, who figured out that twenty-seven planets were actually taken and also how to track the lost planet. He had allowed himself to feel hope that he would see his son at the end of the trail. Upon arriving at the Medusa Cascade, though, the trail had gone cold. 

"No, no, no, no, no," the Doctor screamed in anger as he kicked the bottom of the TARDIS console repeatedly. He ran the scan again, desperate to find a minute trace of the planet, but the scan turned up nothing once more. He ignored the pain in his foot as he held onto the console, kicking her once again. She blew cold air on him. "It can't be gone, you have to find the planet."

"Doctor," Donna said softly behind him. He turned to look at her briefly, the full strength of the Oncoming Storm staring at her. "Doctor, please the Earth can't be gone. What about my Mum? And Granddad? That's my family."

"And my son is there," The Doctor snipped at her. "You think I just want to give up. The problem is the trail is gone, Donna." 

"Then find it," Donna begged him. 

"I can't," he yelled at her. He repeated the words as he sunk down on to the captain's chair. Conner was gone. After everything that he did to protect his son and make sure that he was safe, he was gone. Taken from him by an unknown force. He regretted his choice to run, rather than face Jack and Ianto. He owed the men an apology. If he ever saw them again. 

"Doctor, what do we do?" Donna questioned him desperately. He shook his head as he stared forward. The anger was gone from his eyes as he tried desperately not to let the tears escape. He just wanted his baby. To hold his son against his chest and feel his hearts beating. "Doctor, please don't do this to me. You never give up. There has to be another way."

The Doctor didn't look at her as he listened to her begging. He wished more than anything that she was right and that there was another way. He couldn't think of one, though. He pulled himself to his feet, moving towards the corridors. Donna grabbed his arm trying to stop him and he pulled it away from her continuing on. A ringing of a phone, though, caused him to pause in his steps. He looked at Donna, but she looked confused. Hope filled him as he realized that it was Martha's phone that was calling him. He rushed forward answering the phone. Martha wasn't on the line, but there was a signal. A signal that he could trace back to the Earth. Using his stethoscope he found the signal and maneuvered the TARDIS through the cascade. The Earth, along with the other twenty-six planets appeared before the TARDIS. On his monitor, however, appeared several familiar faces.

"Where the hell did you go?" Jack snapped from the top right corner. Tosh and Ianto were standing with him and the Doctor could see Gwen working in the background along with Owen. While he was happy to see they were safe, he looked desperately for any sign that his son was with them. 

"Jack now's not the time," Martha chastised him from the square right below it. The Doctor glanced down briefly to see her sitting with her mother before turning his attention to the upper left-hand corner. Sarah Jane was on that screen with a young man that he hadn't seen before. Fear filled him and he quickly calculated the time. Three days, he had only been gone three days, that couldn't possibly be Conner with Sarah. Relieved he turned his eyes back to Torchwood as Jack began to speak. 

"Doctor, it's Daleks," Jack informed him the anger still clear in his tone. The Doctor felt his hearts skip a beat at the word. All he could think about was the fact that he had left his son behind and now he was in danger from his greatest enemy.

"Conner?" He questioned his voice cracking.

"He's fine. I left him at Ianto's flat but don't worry, he was just watching the telly and eating crisp when we left," Jack answered sarcastically.

"Jack," Martha drew out his name in annoyance. 

"He is sleeping in my office," Jack told him his own glare turned briefly at Martha. 

"Doctor, the Daleks. They are taking people into their spaceship," Sarah Jane informed him as she wasn't quite sure why the Doctor and Jack were obviously angry with each other or who Conner was. 

"Sarah Jane, who's the boy?" The Doctor wondered acknowledging her. "Blimey, everyone is here. Everyone except Rose." Before he could continue the signal was interrupted turning the screen black. For a brief moment, he hoped that Rose's face would appear. Instead, the face of Davros came on screen. He listened briefly to Davros before deciding to do what he did best and run. He set the TARDIS to land in Cardiff near Torchwood, going out into the abandon streets. 

"It's like a ghost town," Donna commented as they stood in front of the TARDIS. 

"Sarah Jane said they were taking the people. What for? Think, Donna. When you met Rose in that parallel world, what did she say?" The Doctor questioned trying to make sense of the information. 

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" Donna wondered. The Doctor narrowed his eyes at Donna as she indicated with her head for him to turn around. He did slowly, surprised to see the woman standing in the abandoned street. She was older than the last time he saw her but still his pink and yellow girl. He couldn't contain his happiness as he ran towards her, eager to hug her once more. In his excitement, though, he missed the Dalek coming around the corner and a glancing blow from its ray gun hit him in his chest. Pain filled him as he collapsed to the ground. He could feel every cell in his body coming alive with regenerative energy as Jack appeared. Despite Jack's anger at him, Jack helped him to his feet supporting him as they went into the safety of the TARDIS. 

His mind was racing. He didn't want this body. This was the body that he had spent day after day scrubbing raw to remove the touch of the man. The body that betrayed him allowing itself to be violated by others. It was also the body that Jack loved and that had been made for Rose. The body that shared its DNA traits with his son that he had grown to love despite the circumstances. He looked into Donna's terrified eyes. Donna wouldn't understand him changing now, not after they worked to save this body after his suicide attempt.

"Good luck," Jack told him, but he couldn't change, not yet he decided. He could heal, though. He had one chance to make this body his own again and he was going to take it. He felt the regeneration energy coursing through his body healing it. The pain from the Dalek blast vanished as the wounds on his wrist healed and the scar on his stomach faded, leaving his body like new once more. He felt the changes starting as he forced his arms down directing the regeneration energy away from his body into the hand that had briefly been attached to his body. 

With his body healed, he set forward to save the people of not only the earth but the entire universe. He hated that Jack sacrificed himself to give them a chance. He was taken down to the dungeon of the ship where Davros was being kept. There, he was not only made to witness them killing people with a device known as the reality bomb but forced to watch as his TARDIS was thrown into the heart of the ship containing a Z-neutrino energy core. He watched on helpless as he waited for the TARDIS to be destroyed but as he watched, he felt her live. She disappeared from the core but he could still feel her in his mind. Confused he acted as if she had perished as he tried to figure out how she was still with him. His question was answered a short time later as his companions filled the dungeon with him. Sarah Jane, Jack, and Mickey threatened Davros with a white star while Martha had something called an Osterhagen key. Knowing that they had each brought their own way of destroying the Earth broke his hearts as he came to realize that he had turned these loving people into the killers that they had become. 

He refused to look at them until he heard the sound of the TARDIS returning. He was surprised when Donna and a man who looked like him ran out. There was something different about the man, though, something wrong. The man was half-human and half-Time Lord, a meta-crisis due to the energy in his hand. The man was full of anger, having been born in battle and he destroyed the Daleks with no remorse. The Doctor knew what he had to do and after making sure that every planet was returned to its rightful spot he began to make plans to take the meta-crisis to the other universe where he would be safe with Rose. Rose could take away the pain and hatred in his heart making him a better man just like he had done with the Doctor. Setting the controls, he retreated to his bedroom to wash and change. He had just finished showering when a knock sounded from his door. 

"Come in," the Doctor called out, expecting to see Jack. Jack was still angry at him. The door opened and his duplicate stepped into the room closing the door behind him. 

I know what you are planning to do to me and Rose, but I am asking you to reconsider. We both know that Donna's body isn't capable of sustaining the energy that she received and it is going to kill her unless we find a solution," his Metacrisis stated. The Doctor sat down on the edge of his bed, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn't deny that he was planning on leaving them behind as he felt that the man deserved to know the truth. 

"I have a solution," the Doctor replied unable to keep the sadness out of his voice over the fact that he was going to lose his best friend. 

"You're not strong enough on your own to do anything but take her memories. I can help you remove the excess energy from her body and build a wall that will keep her safe and allow her to continue to travel with you. All that I ask in return is that you let me stay," his duplicate pleaded with him. 

"What about Rose?" The Doctor wondered. Despite the fact that he was considering trying to have a relationship with Jack and Ianto, he still cared for Rose and didn't want to see her hurt.

"That's up to her but I will spend my life with her, if she'll have me," the man answered.

"I'll consider it," he responded. The second Doctor didn't argue further as he opened the door to the room. On the otherside of the door Jack was waiting. He stepped in as the other man stepped out closing the door behind him. The anger was clear in Jack's eyes again and the Doctor knew that he couldn't run this time. He had no choice but to talk to him.


	43. Chapter 43

Jack closed the door to the bedroom, leaning against the door to stop the Doctor from being able to run. He crossed his arms as he glared down at the Doctor doing what the Doctor thought was a very good attempt at his own coming storm look. He was positive that Jack wouldn't appreciate the compliment, though, so he kept his mouth shut as he stared up at the Captian. He expected Jack to start yelling at him, to tell him how stupid that he been for running. Jack standing there quietly was even worse as Jack was never quiet. He always spoke his opinion, letting others know exactly how he felt. 

"I'm sorry," the Doctor spoke up first, trying to break the silence. 

"Three days. For three days, Ianto and I had no idea where you had gone. He was worried sick that you had tried to kill yourself again despite taking Donna with you," Jack seethed, his voice barely rising despite his anger. "We took you into our flat, gave you a place to rest and heal while we cared for your son. I am sorry if you overheard me having sex with my lover, but what I don't understand is if it bothered you that much, why you didn't say anything to me rather than run. I can't change who I am but I can talk to Martha about giving you another place to live while you continue to heal if you would rather not stay with me anymore or we can see about having you stay with Rose in a flat somewhere. It's up to you who you want to stay with as I obviously haven't been able to provide you with the help you need. One thing I do know is that I am going to deadlock your TARDIS and store it in Torchwood until you're ready to travel again." 

"While I appreciate all that you have done for me, I don't need a place to stay anymore. My body is healed from regenerating," The Doctor stated. He unbuttoned his shirt sleeve, pulling it up to reveal that while his arm was still lined with black stitches they no longer held a cut closed. The skin was fully healed showing no signs of the damage he caused it. 

"Your arms may be healed but I am not as sure about your mind," Jack stated as he looked at the Doctor's healed arms. While he was happy that the Doctor didn't change bodies, he was worried about the Doctor claiming that he was fully healed. He knew for a fact that just because your body could heal, it didn't heal your mind. He had his own demons to deal with and he wasn't going to let the Doctor travel again on his own until he was positive the Time Lord had dealt with his own. 

"I won't be alone this time. I have Donna and Rose as well as the meta-crisis. And if you will allow it, I also have you and Ianto," The Doctor told Jack nervously not sure how he would react. Jack took a step forward away from the door. When the Doctor made no move to rise, Jack dared to step forward and sit on the bed next to him. He turned so that he could look at the Doctor as they continued to talk. 

"You will always have a place to stay with Ianto and I but we can't just take off in the TARDIS with you. We have Conner to raise and keep safe as well as Torchwood to run," Jack responded. He saw hurt flash across the Doctor's eyes but it was gone just as quickly. "We can still travel with you on the weekends or for brief trips if you would like, once you are healed. We could probably even take longer trips once Conner is old enough to travel."

"I would like that," the Doctor replied a smile crossing his face.

"I have to ask, though, Doc. You never cared about me before now. What changed?" Jack wondered softly. 

"I have always cared about you, Jack," The Doctor answered him. Jack rolled his eyes at him causing the Doctor to sigh. He was going to have to say more than he wanted to in order to make Jack understand. "I have lived a long time Jack. My body may be young but I am old and tired. I am tired of hurting, tired of having nowhere to call home anymore, tired of losing everyone that I have ever cared about," The Doctor admitted. 

"So you decided to show how you feel about me by running?" Jack questioned. 

"He wanted to join in with you and Ianto but he was too afraid to ask," The Doctor's duplicate answered for him as he entered the room. The Doctor's face turned bright red and he glared at the man. Jack's mouth dropped, dumbfounded that the meta-crisis would admit that. The man shrugged at Jack's confusion. "I am part Donna now. She doesn't have the filter that he keeps."

"Fair enough," Jack answered. 

"Why are you here?" The Doctor questioned irritably. 

"We are arriving at the beach in about ten minutes and the landing sequence will need to be started soon so that we come out of the vortex properly," The meta-crisis answered. 

"You and Donna can start the sequence," The Doctor told him. The man nodded heading towards the door. He was almost there when the Doctor spoke up again. "Tell everyone that I will be out there soon to talk to them. You might also want to tell everyone goodbye."

"I will," The second Doctor answered, ignoring the threat. The door closed leaving Jack and the Doctor alone once more. 

"Is what he said true, that you want to join Ianto and I in bed?" Jack questioned, careful with his wording so not to scare the Doctor off. The Doctor turned brighter red as he hung his head and then nodded. "I don't think Ianto will mind, but we will discuss it more once we are home, alright?"

"Alright," The Doctor agreed. He didn't correct Jack that Ianto's flat wasn't his home as it was nice to have a place to settle down again. A place where he could raise his son and settle down with two men who he cared about. With the thought of Conner, he reached up and rubbed his eyes. He missed his baby terribly. Sitting here with Jack wasn't going to get him back to his son any faster. He needed to drop Jackie and Mickey off in the other universe as well as anyone else who wanted to stay before the walls closed trapping him forever away from his child. 

"Let's go talk to the other's," The Doctor stated. Standing up, he offered a hand to Jack, pulling him to his feet. Hand in hand, they went towards the control room where the others were waiting.


	44. Chapter 44

The Doctor walked hand in hand with Jack towards his control room. As they approached he could hear voices and laughter which caused him to smile. He paused in the doorway looking out into the room. He could see his duplicate sitting on the captain's chair with Sarah Jane. They were laughing as they spoke about an adventure they shared when he was in his fourth body. Donna was making her way around the console setting the TARDIS to exit the vortex. The Doctor's happiness turned to concern as he watched. His Donna couldn't change a switch before now and now she was flying his TARDIS. Though she didn't show it, he couldn't imagine the amount of pain that her head must be in from the raw energy that didn't belong there. They were going to have to help her soon or her mind would burn up before they could save her. Behind her, he could see Martha and Mickey talking. Even from the doorway, he could tell that Mickey was flirting with her and Martha was enjoying it. His smile returned as he watched them. He was proud of the man that Mickey had grown into from the coward that he had watched hiding at Rose's legs. He wasn't going to tell him that, or the fact that he thought that Mickey would be good for Martha. 

Turning his head towards the opposite side of the room, he saw Rose. She was standing with her mother and the two of them were talking quietly about something. He could tell from the look on Jackie's face that she wasn't happy with their conversation even if she understood why. She made eye contact with him briefly and a moment later Rose turned around. She smiled as she saw him standing with Jack and his hearts sped up. He felt just like he did back when they used to travel together. He always loved her smile and the way that she made him laugh even when his hearts were hurting. He was falling for Jack, though, and even if he didn't know if a relationship would work between Jack, Ianto and him, he wanted to try. He just hoped that he could make Rose understand and have her help his duplicate to become a better man. They could share their lives together, aging at the same rate rather than her dying while he had to carry on alone. He cleared his throat loudly and the second Doctor looked over at him. 

"Quiet," the Meta-crisis called out. The laughter died out as everyone turned to look towards the man sitting on the captain's chair. "Don't look at me, he's the one who wants to talk to you." The Doctor rolled his eyes as they turned their attention to him. 

"In a few minutes, we are going to be landing on Pete's world. I can only stay long enough to drop off whoever wants to stay before the walls close again, now that the Reality Bomb never happened," The Doctor explained to the group. 

"It's dimensional retroclosure. See, I really get that stuff now," Donna exclaimed happily, not helping the worry that the Doctor was feeling. 

"But I spent all that time trying to find you. I'm not going back now," Rose exclaimed unhappily. 

"And I want you to stay, but we need to talk before you make your decision because a lot has changed since you left," the Doctor informed her. Rose nodded as he motioned for Rose to come over to him. He released Jack's hand as the second Doctor stood coming over to them. The three of them made their way out of the control room into the first door that they came to. One of his larger gardens stretched out in front of them providing them a neutral place to discuss what was going to happen now. 

"I was going to be with you forever," Rose stated before he could say anything. 

"I know," he answered not sure what else to say. 

"I don't understand then, I spent years trying to get back to you and now you don't want me to be with you anymore," Rose wondered. 

"A lot has changed since you left, Rose. I had no choice but to keep moving forward and as happy as I am that you are back, nothing can be the same as it was. I travel with Donna now and I have a son who I spend my nights with and during the day is being cared for by Jack and his lover Ianto," The Doctor explained. 

"You have a son?" Rose questioned. 

"I do. His name is Conner and he is just over a month old. He needs me to be there for him and I need you to be there for him," The Doctor told her motioning to the second Doctor. we saved the universe, but at a cost. And the cost is him. He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He's too dangerous to be left on his own."

"You made me," The meta-crisis exclaimed. The Doctor looked at him. 

"Exactly. You were born in battle, full of blood and anger and revenge," The Doctor informed him unhappily. He turned to look at Rose. "Remind you of someone? That's me, when we first met. And you made me better. Now you can do the same for him."

"But he's not you," Rose whined

"He needs you. That's very me," The Doctor told her softly. 

"I look like him and I think like him. Same memories, same thoughts, same everything. Except I've only got one heart," The meta-crisis let her know, getting her attention again. 

"Which means?" Rose questioned. 

"I'm part human. Specifically, the aging part. I'll grow old and never regenerate. I've only got one life, Rose Tyler. I could spend it with you if you want," he advised her. A small smile appeared on her face. 

"You'll grow old at the same time as me?" Rose clarified. 

"Together," he agreed. He could see Rose thinking it over as the TARDIS informed the Doctor that they were going to be landing. 

"I need to go back to the control room. And I'm sorry, I am so sorry but if you are going to stay then you need to tell your mother goodbye because once the walls between the universes close they won't open again," The Doctor told her. 

"I made my decision long ago," Rose answered him. "But's it's not right because he is still not you." 

"Talk to him and you will see that he is me," The Doctor advised her softly. He moved towards the door not saying anything else. Rose didn't stay in the garden with the meta-crisis as she followed him out. She crossed the room over to where her mum was standing wrapping her arms tightly around her. They hugged as the Doctor landed the TARDIS on the beach that he had once told her goodbye. He watched Jackie leave the TARDIS alone as Mickey also chose to stay behind. He felt bad for her but she had her husband Pete and a son named Tony waiting for her. He piloted the TARDIS back into the vortex taking her back into the correct universe before making sure that the walls were closed behind them. With the walls closed, he turned the TARDIS towards Torchwood because as much as he wanted to return to Conner, he still needed to save Donna and make things right with Rose first.


	45. Chapter 45

The Doctor didn't leave the control room as he walked around the controls pressing buttons, flipping switches, turning off and on faucets as well as ringing what looked to be an old bicycle horn. He didn't take his eyes off of Donna the entire time as he listened to her rattling on about planets that they should all visit, including Feldspoon. He exchanged glances with his meta-crisis. He still didn't think there was any way to save Donna besides removing her memories. The other thought that together they could save her, though, and he had to have hope that he was right. He couldn't lose Donna, not now. He began the landing sequence as they arrived in Cardiff, setting her down in Jack's office. The crying of his son alerted him to the fact that Conner was still in Jack's office. He raced off the TARDIS happy for the excuse. Ianto was sitting in Jack's chair rocking Conner as he continued to scream unhappily. Ianto looked frazzled as he rocked the infant.

"What's the matter with Conner?" The Doctor wondered as he hurried off the TARDIS and over to his screaming child. 

"I don't know he has been screaming like this since the Earth was returned to its rightful place. I recently changed his nappy and he doesn't want a bottle, to sleep or to be laid down," Ianto informed him tiredly. The Doctor held out his hands for Conner and Ianto happily handed him over, relieved for the break.

"I bet that didn't feel nice to be hurled across the universe, but you are safe now," he cooed as he cuddled him close. Conner's face was red and his hands were in fist as he continued to scream his unhappiness. "Oh, Conner what's the matter?"

"Who's this," Sarah Jane wondered coming off the TARDIS. Jack was with her but he hurried out of his office, eager to see Ianto and the possible damage that was caused to the rift by the earth being moved. Ianto shook his head from where he was still sitting in Jack's chair. He stood up hurrying after his lover. 

"My son, Conner," The Doctor answered. 

"Your son?" Sarah asked him in surprise. The Doctor nodded and Sarah held out her hands for the baby. He looked at her reluctantly as he cuddled Conner a little closer. Sarah smiled her understanding as she lowered her arms. 

"Sorry," he told her. He kissed his baby on the head, then laid his head against his. He could feel Conner's mind searching for his and he connected with it easily through their bond. 

"Is this your son?" Rose questioned as she came off a moment later with Mickey and Martha.

"His son?" Mickey asked in surprise as he looked at the baby. Mickey looked at the baby, trying to find any resemblance to the Doctor. The baby had dark brown hair and was red from screaming making it hard to find any.

"Yep," The Doctor responded popping the p at the end. 

"How did you get a baby?" Mickey questioned curiously. He was looking at Conner, so he didn't notice the Doctor pale slightly at the question. The Doctor swallowed hard, not answering Mickey's question. 

"Are you alright?" Martha wondered. The Doctor nodded. 

"Fine," He squeaked. He kissed Conner on the top of the head then offered him to Sarah Jane. She took him putting him against her shoulder as she snuggled him close. She patted his back gently, making soft shushing noises. Conner didn't care as he continued to scream. The Doctor reached out, placing his fingers to Conner's temples. Conner's Time Lord side was confused by the planet moving and causing his head to hurt. The Doctor soothed Conner's mind, building up a wall to help him. He carefully broke the connection using the bond to help Conner keep the wall intact. Conner calmed in Sarah Jane's arms as the Doctor leaned forward kissing the back of his head again. 

"Can I hold him?" Rose wondered. 

"Alright," Sarah agreed, handing the baby to Rose. She took him, holding him to her. He made her miss Tony but she had made her decision. She was going to stay with the Doctor and together they would raise his son. With her arms free, Sarah turned to the Doctor giving him a hug. "It was good to see you again. I have to be getting home, Luke is by himself and he is only 15, but I expect you to stop by sometime and bring that beautiful baby with you."

"I will," The Doctor told her. He didn't ask how Sarah Jane had a fifteen-year-old son because he didn't want to tell his own story. He watched Sarah Jane hurry out of the office, then turned to Rose. He took Conner back, carrying him onto the TARDIS with him where Donna was waiting for him with the other Doctor. Donna was sitting on the captain's chair holding her head as he entered, closing the door behind him. 

"We need to remove the energy now or her mind is going to fry," the Meta-crisis informed him. The Doctor didn't even think about it as he crossed over to where they were. He started to lay Conner down on the seat beside her but then thought better of it. He stood there trying to figure out what to do with his son in order to help Donna. The TARDIS made the decision easy on him as she hummed at him. Turning he saw a small place had been set up for him. He thanked her, laying Conner down. He could still see Conner as he returned to them. "We are going to remove the excess energy from your body and then hide as many memories as possible in order to keep your mind from burning."

"I don't want to forget, but you're not strong enough to help me beyond removing my memories," Donna informed them softly. 

"And you won't have to. The Doctor needs the energy and his body will readily accept it, then together we can lock away enough memories to help you," The meta-crisis answered her calmly. 

"I don't need the energy," The Doctor replied indignantly. 

"Yes, you do. You regenerated and then put all of your excess energy into your hand. Your energy is probably in the sixties at the moment making you feel lethargic but not quite low enough to let others know how bad you are feeling," The meta-crisis advised him. The Doctor narrowed his eyes. The man was right, but the Doctor didn't want to admit it. 

"I feel fine," He responded. 

"Really? Do you want me to get Martha on board so that she can confirm you are fine?" The meta-crisis asked causing the Doctor to glare harder. 

"Can we concentrate on Donna?" He questioned. The Meta-crisis smiled knowing he was right. He placed his fingers to the back of Donna's temples allowing the Doctor to place his fingers in front of his. The Doctor took the energy from Donna's body, his own accepting it readily allowing his own energy levels to rise. Together they started to build a wall around the memories that she received. They gathered as many as possible, before placing the wall in a room. A second wall was built around the room, hiding it from Donna. As a fail safe, however, he put in a way for her to expel any energy that built up if she ever accidentally made it through the door. Pulling carefully out of her mind, she collapsed on the seat in front of them. 

"Did it work?" the second Doctor wondered. 

"I think so," The Doctor answered. He connected with the TARDIS who confirmed that Donna was safe. She would sleep for a few hours but when she woke, she would still know who he was. Grateful, he picked Donna up in his arms carrying her to her room to sleep. He removed her shoes, tucking her into her bed. He was grateful the other Doctor had allowed him to keep Donna with him, even if he wasn't sure what to do with the man. Returning to the control room, he found the man holding Conner. 

"I remember carrying you and giving birth but the Doctor is your daddy. I guess that makes me your uncle now if he lets me be apart of your life still," the meta-crisis told Conner softly. 

"Of course you can be part of his life," The Doctor responded. "I know things are going to be difficult as you adjust but you are welcome to stay on the TARDIS as long as you need to."

"Thank you," The man smiled at him. 

"Now, I am going to help Jack and the rest of Torchwood with the rift, do you want to come?" The Doctor asked. The man nodded standing up. He offered Conner to the Doctor but he shook his head no. Still smiling, he cuddled him close as together they went to help Jack.


	46. Chapter 46

The hub was a hive of activity. Though the alarms had been silenced, all around them the red lights flashed as new artifacts came through the rift. Owen and Tosh were already out in the field and Gwen promised that she would join them after taking Sarah Jane home. Next out were Jack, Ianto, Mickey, leaving the Doctors at the hub with Martha and Rose. Together they worked to coordinate the small group in order to get to the artifacts as quick as possible. The rain that was bathing the earth did little to help them find the pieces nor did the traffic. They also had to rely on the old walkies as the phone lines were also congested as people called their loved ones making sure they were alright. 

"Are you sure it landed here?" Owen asked over the walkie for the second time in as many minutes 

"Yes, just keep going forward it should be in the field directly ahead of you," The second Doctor responded as he looked at the monitor. 

"You mean the muddy rain soaked field that I am currently standing in?" Owen questioned, his tone showing just how he felt about standing in the field.

"That's the one, now go straight and it should be laying on the ground in about 50 feet," the meta-crisis replied. He heard Owen mumble into the walkie about Time Lords being nice and cozy in the hub while he did the real work. The Doctor ignored him as Ianto got on the line asking about his own artifact and Conner chose that moment to start crying. 

"I've got him," Rose announced putting down her own walkie. The two Doctor's exchanged glances. While they both trusted Rose they weren't really keen on having new people care for their baby. The meta-crisis looked away first as the Doctor watched her take Conner into her arms cooing happily at him. 

"I'll go make you a bottle," Martha told her. 

"I can do it," Rose offered. 

"While I appreciate the offer, Conner has special requirements when it comes to his formula. I will make him a bottle this time and I can show you how to later," Martha responded. Rose nodded settling back. Relieved that Martha was helping, the Doctor turned his attention back to the screens in front of him. When Conner wouldn't calm down, though, he took a moment to gather the carrier that Jack kept in his office. He placed Conner on his chest, resting one hand on the baby's temple while he continued to talk to Tosh through the walkie. He carefully soothed his son's mind, as he worked. Soon Conner was sleeping peacefully against his chest, allowing him to concentrate on his work. 

The long day, combined with his low energy, however, made his body start to give out on him long before his mind was ready. He tried not to show how tired he was becoming as he led Jack to the next artifact or let anyone know how much he just wanted to crawl into bed as he forced himself to focus on the next task. As the night wore on, they finally started to get ahead of the rift. Tosh, Gwen, and Owen all headed home for the night as Ianto, Jack, and Mickey turned their SUV's to head back to the hub. The Doctor didn't mind as Martha headed on to the TARDIS to sleep rather than return to her own flat. 

"Goodnight, Doctor and Doctor," Martha commented with a yawn. 

"Goodnight," They answered together. 

"If you are going to be staying with us, we really need to figure out something else to call you besides the Doctor," Martha told him as she paused at the bottom of the stairs. 

"Why?" the meta-crisis asked sounding genuinely confused. 

"Because it gets confusing referring to you both as the Doctor," Martha told him. 

"Not for me," they responded at the same time again. Martha rolled her eyes. 

"If it helps you can call me John," the Meta-crisis offered. Martha smiled. 

"I will see you in the morning, John," she told him. He smiled back as she headed up the stairs to sleep. 

"Goodnight, Doctor," Rose said on purposely ignoring his duplicate. She gave him a hug before sauntering up the stairs after Martha. 

"She'll come around," The Doctor reassured John. 

"I don't think she will. She wants to be with you, not some one hearted man who looks like you," John answered him. There was no bitterness in his tone or sadness. 

"I can't give her what she wants. Not anymore," The Doctor replied. 

"I know and maybe one day she will understand that as well," John sighed. He turned back to the computer, obviously not ready to head to bed quite yet. The Doctor bid him good night as he headed up the stairs to his TARDIS as well. The TARDIS control room was empty and he paused on his way up through to pat the coral. The TARDIS hummed at him comfortingly as she reassured him that Martha and Rose were in their own rooms and that Donna was still sleeping soundly. Relieved, he headed towards his own room, loosening his tie as he entered the corridors. Turning down the corridor with their rooms he saw more doors than normal. Curious he looked at them as he continued towards his own room. On one side he saw Jack's door, a door he didn't recognize, Donna's room and Conner's door. On the other was Rose's door, Mickey's door, Martha's room, and a door that looked similar to his. Going to the door, he opened it looking in. The room was set up like his own with a large bed, bookcases, and a desk. The TARDIS was obviously trying to make his duplicate feel comfortable. The Doctor didn't mind as he closed the door crossing the corridor into his own room. He laid Conner carefully down in his cot, then changed into his pajamas. Retrieving Conner, he sat down on his bed giving him his bottle as he cuddled his baby close. 

He held Conner, rocking him and talking to him softly in Gallifreyan until the baby drifted off to sleep in his arms. He returned him to his cot, making sure that he was settled before slipping underneath the blankets to sleep. He wasn't sure how long he managed to fall asleep for before he was woken up by the sound of his door opening. He opened his eyes to see Jack and Ianto coming into his room. 

"Are you sure we should be in here?" Ianto questioned softly.

"I promise you, Ianto, he won't mind," Jack reassured his young lover as he turned his eyes towards the Doctor. "Would you?"

"No," the Doctor agreed sleepily. 

"See, now come on," Jack told Ianto, pulling on his hand. Ianto came the rest of the way into the room, closing the door behind them. The Doctor turned on the small light beside his bed, illuminating the room enough for them to see by. He watched as they both stripped down to their pants and then pulled on a pair of trousers that the TARDIS provided for them. Going to the opposite side of the bed, Jack slipped beneath the blankets first, moving to the middle to allow Ianto to lay down next to him. Rolling over the Doctor kissed the men softly before laying his head on Jack's chest to sleep. He felt himself starting to drift off and he welcomed the darkness. He was almost asleep when he felt Jack move. 

The Doctor tensed, waking up as he felt Jack's hand drifting lower to rest on his pants near his groin. Jack didn't move his hand, as the Time Lord turned his head to look in Jack's eyes. Jack was waiting for him to react and as much as he wanted Jack to touch him, he wouldn't allow it unless it was alright with Ianto. The Doctor glanced towards Ianto, their eyes meeting. Ianto nodded, moving his own hand to rest on top of Jack's. Taking a deep breath, the Doctor leaned up to kiss Jack softly on his neck as Jack's hand moved. 

He bit back a gasp he felt Jack's hand touch him for the first time. The Doctor laid there holding on to Jack trying to keep his breathing even as Jack's hand rubbed him through his pants. He looked at Ianto seeing Ianto was biting his own lip. Moving only his eyes, he saw that Jack's other hand was busy with Ianto only his hand was in Ianto's pants. The Doctor quickly turned his eyes back to Ianto's face, his cheeks turning red. The Doctor didn't think about his embarrassment for long as Jack's hand slipped inside his pants and he finally felt Jack's hot hand. The Doctor bit back his cry as he reached out for Ianto's hand, gripping it tight. The Time Lord gasped and moaned until he heard Ianto cry out his own release, not able to hold back any longer the Doctor fell over the edge with a deep moan. Still holding Ianto's hand, the Doctor kissed Jack's chest feeling Jack return the kiss on the top of his head. Sated and content, he finally drifted off to sleep.


	47. Chapter 47

John couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned in the familiar feeling bed as he tried desperately to allow his body to rest. However, his mind was too active to give into the exhaustion his body felt and he couldn't help but wonder if he had made the right decision to stay in this universe with the Doctor. He had made the decision while surrounded by the people the Doctor called friends as they raced to the other universe before the walls closed. At the time, he didn't want to be separated from the people he knew nor the child that he remembered carrying but was no longer his own. Now he wondered if it would have been easier for him to adapt to his new life if he had stayed in the other universe with Rose. Rose did want him, though. Being alone with her wouldn't change the fact that she didn't want the one hearted man that could share his life with her. She wanted the Time Lord who was now just beyond her reach and there he would have been alone without the people the Doctor called friends to support him as he tried to figure out who he was now. 

Giving up on sleep, he pulled himself out of bed reaching for the blue suit. He paused as the suit didn't feel quite right anymore. Picking up the suit jacket, he left his room heading into the large wardrobe room. There was a special spot in the room where the Doctor kept all of his old clothes from the simple black jacket and white undershirt he wore in his first body to the cricket outfit he favored in his fifth. At the end of the room was the leather jacket with the red sweater he favored in his last body, and he thought of adding the blue suit to the room. It didn't feel right, though, as this was the Doctor's room, not his. He took off the blue suit, placing it in an empty space on the side of the wardrobe as he started to look for his new outfit. He spent the next hour trying on and dismissing several outfits. Nothing felt right as he stood in front of the mirror. He didn't like the black slacks, nor did he like any other pair of trousers. He found a pair of black jeans similar to the ones that he wore in his ninth body. He put them on, then added a dark red long sleeve dress shirt with a simple white undershirt. He tried on a black dress jacket but dismissed it. Staring at himself in the mirror something still didn't seem right. He went to the bathroom pulling out the razor and scissors. He trimmed his hair combing it over. He also shaved his sideburns down thining them out but not removing them completely. Happy with his new look he went to the kitchen to start breakfast for everyone.

"For your sake, I really hope I am dreaming as I don't think you are stupid enough to be wandering the TARDIS when you are supposed to be on bedrest," Donna informed him crankily as she came into the kitchen.

"I don't need to be on bedrest," John answered her sounding confused. Her statement sounded familiar. He blamed the lack of sleep with his new part human brain as he handed her a cup of coffee. She took it from him looking at him suspiciously. He just about had while the conversation was familiar when she spoke up again. 

"So you didn't just have surgery yesterday?" Donna questioned him. He frowned as his mind finally caught up to the fact that she thought it was a month prior. To her, the Doctor had just had a c-section to deliver Conner. Only she didn't know why he had surgery and was worried about the Time Lord. 

"No, I didn't. I've never had surgery," he told Donna calmly. Donna opened her mouth to argue him. "Before you tell me I'm lying, look at me closely Donna. I'm not the Doctor, not anymore."

"If you're not the Doctor, then who are you?" Donna wondered sarcastically. 

"I don't know, I'm still cooking," John answered her as he held out his hands to look at them. 

"Very funny, now get back to bed," Donna snipped at him. 

"I promise you, Donna, I'm fine and don't need to go back to bed. I haven't had any surgery," John told her. Untucking his shirt he lifted it to show her that he had smooth skin on his lower abdomen with no bandage or staples. "See Donna, I'm fine and it has been a month since the Doctor had surgery and give birth to Conner."

"Conner?" Donna asked her brow narrowing in confusion as she tried to figure out why that name sounded familiar. Her mind felt scrambled and she could clearly picture two doctors as well as see her spaceman laying on his bed upset.

"Yes, Conner, his son. Now sit down at the table and have breakfast." Donna nodded taking a seat at the table. John tucked his shirt back in then brought over a plate of food for her. She picked up one of the pieces of bacon, taking a bite of it as John sat down across from her with his own plate of food and cup of coffee. 

"If you're not the Doctor then why do you look like him?" Donna questioned after a long moment. 

"I'm a biological meta-crisis. I was created from the Doctor's hand after he put it in his hand while regenerating. When you touched the hand. BOOM, I was created," John reminded her. Donna jumped as he screamed boom but settled back down quickly as she stared at him. For some reason what he said made sense to her. Not because she remembered what happened, no that part still felt hazy, but because she actually understood what he meant by a biological meta-crisis. It was impossible, though, as a Time Lord had a triple helix DNA strand while a human only had a double helix. She didn't know how she knew that either. 

"Doctor?" Donna started. 

"John," he interrupted her. 

"John, why do I understand what a meta-crisis is or know that you have a triple helix DNA strand?" Donna wondered. 

"Because the meta-crisis went both ways. You received the Time Lord's mind but we had to lock most of the information away from you in order to keep your mind from frying. We tried our best to only lock away the Doctor's memories so I am sorry if you lost some memories. You may find, though, that you better able understand things, like a Time Lords DNA sequence," John explained to her. 

"But I'll be alright?" Donna asked. 

"Yep, good as new," John exclaimed happily. Rolling her eyes, Donna reached out and stole one of John's sausages. Jack laughed as he stood up to go get more.


	48. Chapter 48

The Doctor woke up feeling uncomfortable in Jack's arms. His body felt sticky and he pulled himself up out of bed wandering to the shower. He pulled off his pants throwing them in the laundry as he tried not to think about how nice Jack's hand felt on his member last night. He forced his thoughts away from Jack as he took out a pair of small scissors. The black stitches still decorated his arms and he cut them off carefully removing each stitch until his arms were lined with tiny holes. He didn't like them but they would heal quickly now that the thread wasn't blocking their way. Feeling slightly better, he climbed into the shower, letting the hot water wash over him. He scrubbed his body, no longer focusing on making the skin red. This body was his own again, all the marks from others gone with his regeneration. He dried off wrapping a towel around his waist as he went back out into his room. 

"Come back to bed," Jack told him sleepily. 

"I will in a minute, I just want to put on new trousers first," The Doctor informed him heading over to his closet. 

"Why? I'll just be taking them off again," Jack informed him. The Doctor paused in his step, his face flushing with embarrassment over Jack's words. He thought about putting his trousers on anyway as he turned to go back to his bed. He averted his eyes as he let the towel fall to the floor before climbing up into the bed. Jack pulled him close to his body, kissing him softly on the lips. He returned the kisses hesitantly as he wrapped his arms around Jack, feeling his hot body against his cool skin. Jack returned the hug, holding him close. The Doctor felt Jack's hands on his back drifting lower until one came to rest on his bottom. 

"No," he gasped as Jack's finger moved between his cheeks. Jack quickly pulled away, moving his hands to the Doctor's back again. The Doctor looked up at Jack with relief that Jack had listened to him. 

"I'm not him, Doctor," Jack whispered softly as he ran his fingers along the Doctor's spine. 

"I didn't say you were," The Doctor responded. 

"But you didn't expect me to listen to you when you said no, you are in complete control of your body, Doc. If you don't feel comfortable with something I am doing, I want you to tell me to stop and I will immediately," Jack informed him. The Doctor nodded leaning up for another kiss. Jack returned it just moving his hands slowly. He pulled away from the Doctor, turning his head to kiss Ianto softly as Ianto sat up in bed. "Joining us?"

"Yeah," Ianto answered scooting closer. He pressed himself against Jack's back, nipping Jack's shoulder.

"Do you mind if Ianto," Jack wondered breathlessly. 

"No," The Doctor responded. He reached behind himself, opening the drawer beside his bed and pulled out a small bottle. He saw hope in Jack's eyes as he passed it to Ianto. The Doctor laid back down holding Jack tightly as Ianto pressed even closer to Jack. Jack groaned pushing his mouth to the Doctor's lips. The Doctor felt Jack's hips moving in time with Ianto's thrusting and moved his own hips to match. Jack quickly fell over the edge between the two men followed by Ianto and finally the Doctor. Feeling sticky again, the three of them made their way to the shower, washing, and shaving.

By the time they finished dressing, Conner was awake and demanding attention. The Doctor happily tended to his son, changing his nappy and dressing him before going with Jack and Ianto towards the kitchen for a cup of tea and a bottle for Conner. Going into the kitchen, he found that breakfast had already been made and John was sitting at the table with Donna eating. 

"Sit, I'll get your meals," John offered getting quickly to his feet. 

"You don't have to," Jack told him. 

"Nonsense, now sit," John responded motioning to the table. The Doctor sat down next to Donna and Jack sat on the opposite side with Ianto. A bottle was sat on the table first before John hurried off to finish plating their breakfast. 

"How are you feeling this morning, Donna?" the Doctor wondered as he picked up the bottle and put it in Conner's mouth. Conner began gulping the bottle greedily causing the Doctor to smile at him. 

"Confused. I thought John was you this morning and wondered why you weren't on bedrest, but seeing you with Conner also makes sense to me. Why is that?" Donna questioned him as she looked at the baby. 

"We had to remove my memories without interfering with your own. I am sorry if things got a bit scrambled in the process but it was the only way to save your life. The memories of this last month are still there and I can help you to find them if you want," The Doctor offered. 

"I'm not letting you in my head again, spaceman," Donna snipped. The Doctor laughed not offended by her sudden change in tone. "One time was enough. Now I have all this alien information and I know what a biological meta-crisis and how to rewire a circuit in the TARDIS console."

"Is that a bad thing?" The Doctor questioned his brow narrowing in confusion.

"She seems to think it is," John laughed as he came over with three plates. He set them down on the table and turned back towards the other side of the kitchen quickly returning with three cups. He handed them to the correct people before taking his seat next to Jack. "She is also unhappy that she now knows what the square root of 7053 is."

"83.982," Donna answered. She reached out and slapped John's arm. "I said stop it."

"Sorry," John groaned as he rubbed his arm. 

"So, John, not that I am complaining but what is with the new clothes?" Jack wondered as he looked John over. He had always liked the Doctor in the tight brown suit that he wore but he had to admit that he thought the dark red shirt with the black jeans was a nice look as well. 

"The suit just didn't feel right anymore," John answered with a shrug. He looked towards the Doctor. "I put the blue suit in the wardrobe room if you're looking for it."

"That's alright, I don't need the blue suit anymore," The Doctor responded. The blue suit had been for Rose as blue was a mourning color on Gallifrey. He didn't need to mourn anymore because not only was Rose back but he was being a relationship with Jack and Ianto. The suit could stay in the wardrobe room for now and he would stick to the brown suit that he favored. 

"No, neither do I," John answered as Rose came in. He mentioned to her that breakfast was ready but unlike with the others didn't offer to get her any. While his single heart still wanted Rose, she had made it clear from the start that she wasn't interested in him. A fact that she reinforced as she made a face at him as she ran her eyes along his body taking in his new clothing before sitting down next to the Doctor. The Doctor stood up to move next to Ianto as Mickey and Martha joined them a moment later. Rose moved so she was across from the Doctor leaving them to sit between her and Donna. John quickly got their breakfast, setting it down. As he took his seat once more he noticed Donna was staring at him. "Leave it."

"I didn't say anything," Donna commented. 

"No, but you were going to," John snapped back at her. 

"So, after breakfast is finished, if you would mind helping us John we have a lot of new artifacts that need to be cataloged," Ianto spoke up trying to break up the tension in the room. 

"Sounds good," John responded. He looked towards Rose again but her eyes were on the Doctor. Wondering once more if he had made a mistake in choosing to stay in this universe, he started on his own meal.


	49. Chapter 49

By the time that breakfast was finished, John's head was drooping. Martha watched as his chin briefly touched his chest, his eyes closing. He quickly raised his head again with a sniffle as he rubbed his face with the back of his hand. He noticed Martha watching him and he smiled sleepily at her picking up his coffee and taking a long drink of it. He set the cup back on the table. Focusing his gaze back on Martha, he narrowed his eyes in confusion. 

"Do I have food on my face?" He questioned trying to figure out why she was continuing to stare at him. 

"No but you do look exhausted, John did you sleep at all last night?" Martha wondered. 

"I wasn't tired," John informed her. 

"Rather than helping Ianto with the artifacts, maybe you should go to bed for a few hours then," Martha suggested. John shook his head no as he yawned. 

"I think you should listen to, Martha," The Doctor told John from the opposite side of the table. Martha looked towards him. The Doctor never listened to her regardless of the reason. He had proven that time and time again, so him asking John to listen to her was suspicious. She tried looking him in the eyes, but he refused to meet her stare as he looked down to his son. He kissed the top of Conner's head cuddling the baby as he finished giving him his bottle. 

"Since when do you listen to Martha?" Jack questioned him. 

"I listen to her," The Doctor stated sounding offended as he looked at Jack. Jack cleared his throat and the Doctor lifted his head. "Sometimes." Jack laughed and Ianto wrapped an arm around his shoulder pulling him into a side hug. The Doctor smiled leaning his head briefly against Ianto's shoulder, not wanting to show affection in front of the group. 

"Exactly, so don't think agreeing with me is going to get you out of another examination in the next few days," Martha responded. The Doctor mumbled under his breath as Martha turned her attention back to John as he began to speak. 

"If I go to bed now, I won't sleep. I will just lay there awake thinking until I get restless and find something to do again. I promise you though, Martha, that I will go to bed when I am tired. Even if it is an hour from now, I will lay down," John reassured her. He could see the doubt in Martha's eyes and he understood why. Despite the Doctor's argument, he knew that Martha was right. The Doctor didn't listen to her when it came to his health and she had no reason to believe that he would be any different. "I know that you don't believe me, but I'm not like him. Not exactly, I get part of my personality from Donna."

"Alright, I will trust you this time Mister, but if I find you sleeping anywhere but your bed, I am dragging you to the medi-bay," Martha warned him. He saluted her with two fingers before dragging himself to his feet. 

"I knew he wasn't you," Rose mumbled. 

"Shut up," John snipped at her. He picked the dishes up off the table, dropping them into the sink with a loud clatter before storming out of the kitchen. Jack stood up followed by Ianto. Ianto offered a hand to the Doctor and helped him to his feet. 

"Come on, we should catch up with John so that we can help him categorize the artifacts," Ianto suggested. The Doctor nodded.

"I can help," Rose offered also getting to her feet. 

"I'm sorry, Rose, but I don't know what artifacts are dangerous and would like as few people handling them as possible. If you are looking for something to do, though, Gwen or Tosh should have work they need help with," Jack suggested. Rose crossed her arms, pouting at the suggestion. The Doctor ignored her as he passed his son to Martha to be cared for while he went to join Jack and Ianto in cataloging the artifacts. John was already down in the vault slamming things around in his annoyance. He swore as he broke an artifact in half, then slammed both pieces into the correct drawer. 

"She will come around eventually," the Doctor tried to reassure John. John glared at him.

"I made a mistake asking to stay here with you, but don't worry I will be leaving soon," John told him angrily as he snatched up another artifact. 

"Nonsense. You belong here with us. If you stay, I am even willing to offer you a job here at Torchwood," Jack informed him. 

"That's very kind of you Jack, but you don't have to take pity on me just because I look like him," John snapped. He slammed the artifact down on the ground and picked up the one beside it. 

"Believe me, I'm not taking pity on you. I've thought about expanding the team for years but I never knew who I could trust. Besides, I could use your mind here to help with identifying the artifacts and helping out around the hub. I've already offered Mickey a job and he has accepted and I am going to be asking Martha to stay on as well. That is if I can get her away from UNIT," Jack answered as he picked up the artifact John abandoned to examine it. 

"Can I think about it?" John wondered. He yawned setting the artifact down again. He was too tired to concentrate and knew that he really should listen to Martha about going to bed. The problem was that he was also too irritated now at Rose to sleep. He huffed sitting down heavily on the floor and picking up the tablet. He began entering in the information for the first artifact that he identified and found, much to his annoyance, that he didn't mind the paperwork. He blamed the part of his DNA that came from Donna for that. He was tempted to throw the tablet, instead, he set it down on the floor storming from the vault. 

"Maybe one of us should go talk to him," Jack suggested. 

"Don't bother," John called back. Out of all the changes to his body, at least he still had his Time Lord hearing. It allowed him to hear the Doctor breathe a sigh of relief that he didn't have to go after his double. It also allowed him to hear Rose, laughing along with Martha and Gwen in the hub. Not sure where he fit in anymore, he headed to the familiarity and safety of the TARDIS.


	50. Chapter 50

John wandered deep into the corridors. He was searching but he didn't know what for. He felt lost, angry, and confused. He didn't know who he was anymore nor what he wanted. He kicked the side of the ship as he turned a corner causing her to hum at him. He didn't care as he continued moving forward. Turning another corner he saw a single door at the end. He ignored the door, turning around to see a door at the opposite side as well. Irritated, he tried to go back down the original corridor to find the same door blocking him.

"I'm not going in there," John told her stubbornly as he sat down in the junction. The TARDIS hummed at him irritably, nudging him softly to go through the door. He shook his head no, crossing his arms. "I can sit for as long as it takes for you to remove the doors and let me continue on my way." He thought he heard the TARDIS laughing at him and he sighed. He was foolish to think that he could out wait the TARDIS. In this half human body, he was going to have to eat, drink, sleep fairly soon. He pulled himself to his feet.

"Fine, you win. What is through the door?" John questioned her. She didn't answer him as she pushed him to go through it again. He walked forward, opening the door and going inside. In front of him, red grass stretched out almost endless to meet with the silver-leaved trees in the distance. He looked up at the simulated twin suns in the red sky. He had memories of running through this grass as a child, going to see his childhood friend. He also had memories of his father holding him high above his head so that he could touch the leaves. Only those memories were from Donna, and not the Doctor as the Doctor's father would have never dreamed of playing with his children. He flopped down into the grass, crossing his arms behind his head as he stared upward.

His memories were not his own, that much he was sure of. This body only came into existence yesterday and he never had a childhood. He didn't grow up under the red sky, nor did he swim in the blue water of the earth. There were no classes at the academy nor dance recitals. There was no longing for children of his own nor the overwhelming sadness for the children that he lost in the war. There was only him. A man who had no past and no future. He felt tears in his eyes and he used the back of his hand to wipe them away. He returned his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. Not caring if Martha found him, he listened to the TARDIS's song as he drifted off to sleep in her garden.

-DW-

"I need to go get more nappies from the TARDIS," Martha lied as she stood up. She had been working with Rose and Gwen for the last few hours and while she still enjoyed Gwen's company, she was beginning to wonder what the Doctor ever saw in Rose. She still remembered caring for him as he pined over his lost lover, but Martha couldn't believe this was the same young lady that he cared so deeply about. It wasn't necessarily the way Rose was acting, as it was apparent that she was knowledgeable and able to lend assistance to their work but more in the way that she discussed her time with the Doctor as well as her future plans together. As they talked about their travels with him, it almost became a contest between them of who saw more and was taken to better places. She also told Martha about places she wanted to go with him, forgetting that he had a son now to keep safe or that he was with Jack and Ianto. It seemed to Martha that Rose was convinced that given enough time the Doctor would take her back and they would be together just like before. 

"I can go," Gwen offered, not seeing Martha's irritation. 

"That's alright. I want to check on John while I am in there," Martha commented. 

"The real Doctor doesn't need to sleep as much," Rose spoke up casually. Martha glared at her. 

"John hasn't slept, that's the problem. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go," Martha told her more calmly than she felt. She picked up Conner, from where he was sleeping peacefully in his cot and snuggled him against her chest. While she was positive that Gwen and Rose could care for Conner, she wasn't sure how the Doctor would feel about her leaving his son in Rose's care. Conner didn't mind as he sighed against Martha's chest, his little hands reaching out to grip her shirt. Martha kissed the top of his head as she walked. She loved Conner, just like she loved her own niece Keisha. She once had hopes of having her own children one day, but her injuries during the year that never was prevented that from happening. Still, there was always adoption, if she ever found the right man to settle down with. 

Entering the TARDIS, she immediately headed for John's room to check on him. She had watched him disappear into the TARDIS a couple of hours ago and hoped that he had finally gone to bed. Knocking softly on the door, she waited for a minute for an answer before trying the handle. Opening the door slowly, she peeked her head in to find that the room was in fact empty. 

"Where's John?" Martha wondered. She waited for the TARDIS to give her some sort of response, but the TARDIS remained quiet as she stood in his doorway. Confused by the TARDIS's lack of response, she tried again. "Can you take me to John so that I can make sure he is alright." Once again the TARDIS refused to answer her. Not sure why the TARDIS was ignoring her, Martha went to Conner's room and retrieved several nappies before leaving the TARDIS. Placing them near his cot, she continued on her way through the hub and down to the vault where the other's were working. Entering the archives, she saw that Ianto was sitting at his desk working while the Doctor sat on the floor leaning against Ianto's legs. He was typing information into a laptop as Jack continued to put the artifacts into their correct locations within the vault. 

"Do you need something Martha?" The Doctor asked without looking up from his laptop. His question alerted the other two to the fact she was there and Ianto looked up from his paperwork at her. 

"Have any of you seen John?" Martha questioned, not sure how he knew that she was there. 

"Isn't he upstairs with you?" Jack wondered as he came out of the vault. He handed the Doctor down a strange looking artifact and he stopped working on his laptop so that he could examine it. 

"No, I thought he went to the TARDIS but I just went to check on him and he wasn't in his room and the TARDIS refused to tell me if he was on board," Martha answered. The Doctor lifted his head as he briefly closed his eyes. He sat silently for a moment, then opened them again. 

"He's aboard the TARDIS in one of her gardens," The Doctor told Martha as he pulled out his sonic. It beeped as he ran it across the artifact. 

"Will she take me to him?" Martha wondered and the Doctor shook his head no. 

"I promise you, Martha, that John is safe. The TARDIS is helping him to cope with his new body, just like she helps me after I regenerate," The Doctor reassured her. 

"But he didn't regenerate," Martha argued. 

"No he didn't, but his body and mind are new. He needs to figure out who he is now and the TARDIS is good at that. John will come out again when he is ready or the TARDIS will let us know if he needs help but for now you need to trust that she knows what she is doing," The Doctor informed her. He put the sonic back in his pocket and then without warning smacked the artifact on the ground as hard as he could. The artifact shattered into several pieces, sending shards across the archives. 

"What the hell did you do that for?" Jack snipped in disbelief. 

"It was a tracker. For, I don't know and I would rather not take the time to find out," The Doctor answered. Shaking his head, Ianto returned to his paperwork as Martha spoke up again. 

"Couldn't you just sonic it to turn it off?" Martha wondered. The Doctor shrugged. 

"Probably but if it was re-enabled the weapon could be here before we are able to prepare for it," the Doctor responded. He picked up one of the larger pieces and pulled out a tiny piece of metal. Pocketing the piece of metal next to his sonic, he began working again, leaving the rest of the shards on the floor. 

"You're cleaning this up before we go upstairs," Jack informed the Doctor. The Doctor saluted him with two fingers and Jack turned to go back into the vault. Realizing no one cared she was there anymore, Martha headed back up the stairs to find Mickey and Owen or anyone else that she could work with besides Rose.


	51. Chapter 51

Three days passed before John emerged from the TARDIS. During those three days, little else changed as everyone worked to restore the rift and collect the artifacts that were coming through. Jack was thankful for all the help that Mickey, Donna, Martha, and Rose provided and wanted to keep all of them onboard to continue to help. The problem was Rose. Despite her ability to help and everyone insisting that she was doing a wonderful job, Jack knew better. He could tell they weren't lying about her work ethic as she did just as much work as the others but he saw the tension in the room when she was around. The laughter died down and conversations stopped. He noticed both Martha and the Doctor did their best to avoid working directly with her, even if it was subtle as Martha kept to the autopsy room and the Doctor the vault. He was going to have to address it eventually, but for now, he kept a silent eye on them hoping they would work it out. 

"Feeling better?" Jack questioned as John stepped out into his office. John's eyes were brighter than before and he looked well rested. His dark red shirt was clean and he was still wearing the black jeans only he had changed to black trainers rather than the converse that the Doctor favored or the black boots that he had favored in his previous body. 

"I think so. Sorry, I was gone so long but I have thought about your offer and would like to continue working here if that is still alright," John advised him as he took a seat in the chair across from Jack. 

"Fine. The Doctor explained that it could take a few days for you to adjust. He also said that the process would be quicker if you could have used the zero room but he just hasn't found the time to clean it," Jack explained. John laughed. 

"I don't think the zero room would have helped me much, even if it was clean. I needed to figure out who I was now," John answered him. 

"And have you?" Jack questioned. John shook his head no. 

"No. This body is half human and therefore different than any I have possessed before. I once told people that I was half-human on my mother's side but I never imagined it would be like this. Though I still have my Time Lord hearing, but I can't feel the world turning beneath my feet. I can still see time twisting and molding. I also see your uniqueness. The way time bounces off of you in a way that offends my Time Lord senses but the Doctor has come to find comforting and beautiful in its own way," John informed him. Jack smiled at that comment and John smiled back as he continued. "I still need to figure out who I am, but hiding in the TARDIS won't help me."

"If there is anything I can do, just let me know," Jack offered. 

"I will," John agreed starting to stand. 

"Also, if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here or if you would feel more comfortable talking to someone trained to help people, I have a list of people who are willing to help and I am sure Martha does too," Jack informed him. John laughed loudly, his whole face lighting up. 

"I'm not the Doctor, Jack. You don't have to be afraid to say the word psychiatrist to me." Jack nodded turning back to his computer. Taking advantage of the silence, John hurried out of Jack's office and into the main hub. He paused at the top of the stairs as he looked at the group of people gathered in the hub. They were all working and no one took notice of him at the top of the stairs. That was alright by him, though. He walked slowly down the stairs, turning towards the direction of the archives. He went down the stairs, pausing in the doorway. 

The Doctor was standing with Ianto near the vault door. Their lips were pressed together in a soft kiss, neither one of them taking charge. It was more than a friendly kiss but less passionate than the ones he knew that the Doctor wanted to share with Jack. John cleared his throat and they broke apart quickly. Both their faces were bright red but John pretended not to notice as he came further into the room. 

"I've come to offer my help with the artifacts," John informed them. 

"I would ask if you are planning on breaking anymore but the Doctor has already broken several as well," Ianto told him.

"I told you why I broke them," The Doctor responded indignantly. 

"Because it was easier than identifying it," John teased him. 

"It was a tracking device," The Doctor declared. 

"But we can't prove that since you broke it. It could have just been a piece of silverware or a child's toy," Ianto laughed. The Doctor glared at him making a humphing noise and Ianto laughed. He kissed the Doctor on the side of the head, but with John there, the Doctor pulled away without returning the gesture.

"Where should I start?" John questioned. Ianto pointed at a small group of artifacts that were sitting on the desk. 

"Those are ones that we have yet to identify," Ianto answered. Both Jack and the Doctor had already looked at the artifacts, so Ianto didn't have much hope that John would be able to identify it either. John walked over picking one of them up off the desk. Out of habit, he reached for his sonic only to remember that he didn't have one. 

"Here," the Doctor said as he reached into his own pocket and pulled his out. John took it from him, as he did he noticed there was something different about the weight of the sonic. He looked down to see that it wasn't the Doctor's usual sonic but a new one. This one was longer with four prongs holding in a green jewel. John looked at him questioningly. "The TARDIS thought you might need it."

"Thank you," John exclaimed. He tested it, seeing that the sonic grew longer when he flicked it with all four prongs opening wide. He flipped it in his hand, catching it. At least it was still weighted correctly. Setting to work, he scanned the first artifact. 

"I'm going to check on Conner and then see if Jack needs anything," the Doctor told John as he headed towards the door. 

"I'll come with you," Ianto spoke up immediately. John smiled as he heard them hurrying out the door and up the stairs. Knowing that he wouldn't see any of them for awhile, he concentrated on identifying the artifacts.


	52. Chapter 52

While Ianto went up to Jack's office, the Doctor instead headed into the autopsy room, where Martha was. While he knew what Ianto was planning by going with him to see Jack, he wasn't sure he was ready to join them quite yet. He wanted more than anything to lay with them and feel his body move with Jacks but he couldn't bring himself to go further than the gentle touching. Every time he thought about going further he would remember waking up naked in the bed, not knowing what happened to his body. He then remembered meeting the man face to face and forcing himself into his memories. He shuddered at the thought as he quickened his step in his search for Martha. He found her in the side room tending to his son. He smiled as he walked up to her taking the infant from her arms. He cuddled him close, kissing him on the top of the head as he cooed happily at him. Taking a small breath in through his nose, though, ruined his happiness. The top of his son's head smelled wrong. He looked up at Martha, his eyes showing his unhappiness. 

"What's wrong, Doctor?" Martha questioned him seeing the look on his face. 

"He doesn't smell right," The Doctor complained. 

"I had to give him a bath after he spit-up all over his clothes. We didn't have his usual soap, so I used one that was safe for his skin that we had here at Torchwood," Martha explained. 

"There are several bottles of his soap inside the TARDIS," The Doctor informed her as he turned towards the door. 

"Doctor," Martha spoke up as he put his hand on the handle. He paused, waiting for her to continue. "Do you want to tell me what is really bothering you or do you want to continue to pretend that you're upset about the way Conner's head smells?"

"I'm not hiding from anything," The Doctor told her. He sighed, leaning his head against the door for a moment. Martha was right, by taking Conner and giving him a bath he was, in fact, avoiding Jack and Ianto. He kissed Conner on the top of the head again as he turned back to Martha. "I really don't like the way he smells. He needs to be bathed with his own soap, but I can do that tonight when we retire to the TARDIS."

"Are you sure?" Martha wondered as the Doctor handed her back his son. 

"Yeah," The Doctor whispered as he left the room. He closed the door behind him as he headed up the stairs. Rose saw him heading towards Jack's office and he quickened his step. He went inside to find Ianto looking over a piece of paper as Jack continued to work. Ianto turned his head as he heard the Doctor coming up behind him and smiled at the Time Lord.

"We are going to take a break now, care to join us?" Ianto questioned Jack as he laid the paper back on Jack's desk. 

"I can't right now, I have too much to do at the moment. I have paperwork that needs to be approved and new members to finish adding on to payroll, as well as new artifacts that need to finish being categorized. Also, Torchwood two was in contact and I need to speak with them," Jack answered without even looking up from his computer. 

"Alright, well we will be waiting for you in the Doctor's room. If you change your mind," Ianto informed Jack. He reached out taking the Doctor's hand in his as together they started towards the TARDIS. They had almost reached the Doctor's room when Jack's brain caught up to what Ianto had told him. Deciding that he could take a break after all, he took off after the two men catching up to them quickly. 

"You're going to help me finish my work once we are done," Jack told Ianto sternly. Ianto smiled at him. 

"Yes, sir," He laughed as Jack's hand came to rest on his bottom. Together the three of them went into the Doctor's bedroom. Clothes were quickly stripped, with the Doctor's pants remaining on as laid with Jack and Ianto rested naked on the bed. The three of them kissed softly, Jack taking his time to make both of the men in bed with him feel loved and needed. He tried his luck, by slipping his hand into the Doctor's pants happy that the Doctor just groaned, pushing his mouth harder against Jacks. He tried hard not to pull away as Jack's hand drifted down his bottom again, a shudder going through his body. 

"Are you alright?" Jack questioned as he felt the Doctor shake in his arms. 

"Fine," The Doctor lied. He tried to kiss Jack again but Jack stopped him. 

"Remember what I told you if you are uncomfortable with anything tell me and it stops," Jack reminded him. 

"I know, but I want this," The Doctor whispered. 

"Are you sure?" Ianto questioned from his place beside Jack. The Doctor shook his head no. He wasn't sure if he wanted to allow Jack into his body, but he wanted it to be his choice this time. He looked at Jack, then Ianto before he spoke again. 

"No, but I want to try," he admitted. He closed his eyes as he reached down and pulled off his pants kicking them off the bed. 

"Alright," Jack agreed. He rolled the Doctor so that the Time Lord was between him and Ianto. It took little communication between the two of them in order to get the Doctor resting with his back against Ianto's chest his legs spread wide by Ianto's legs. Ianto held the Doctor tightly to his body as Jack stared the Time Lord in the eyes. With gentle movements, he opened the Doctor's body before pushing himself up into his body. The Doctor's breath quickened but with the two men holding him so tightly he let himself give into the feelings. He whimpered softly, holding onto Ianto's arm with one hand and his other hand gripping Jack's arm tightly. He fell over the edge first, relaxing back against Ianto as Jack found his own release deep in his body. Jack rolled them so that he could reach Ianto and a moment later Ianto found his own release. He sprawled out, wrapping his body once more around the Doctor's, his hand drifting down to where the Doctor's body was still joined with Jacks.

"I love you," Ianto whispered. 

"I love you, too," Jack responded. 

"Mmmm," the Doctor moaned, not able to say the words. He closed his eyes, resting his head against Ianto's chest. Ianto smiled, kissing the Doctor softly on his forehead. He then laid his head back on the pillow closing his own eyes to rest. Jack briefly thought of all the work that he still needed to do as he leaned up and grabbed a blanket pulling it over the three of them. Settling down, he decided a quick nap was a good idea before round two.


	53. Chapter 53

The Doctor lay panted as he held on tightly to Jack's hands as his body moved with his two lovers. The Doctor was laying on his back with Ianto buried deep inside his body. Jack was behind Ianto, setting the pace of his movements. With one final thrust, Ianto fell over the edge causing a chain reaction that quickly sent the Doctor and Jack following him. Ianto collapsed on top of the Doctor as Jack rolled to the side. The Doctor placed his hand on Ianto's back as he lay there trying to catch his breath. His body ached but it was a welcome ache this time that could be soothed by a hot bath with the two men. He lifted his head kissing Ianto's forehead before turning his head to look at Jack. 

"I want a hot bath," he informed his lover. 

"That sounds nice," Ianto agreed, not lifting his head off the Doctor's chest. 

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather have a round four?" Jack questioned. Both of the men moaned causing Jack to chuckle. He sat up on the bed, stretching his body. "I will go start the bath then. You two join me when you are ready."

"Thank you," The Doctor told him as Jack stood up. He didn't watch Jack leave the room as he let his eyes drift closed. He only intended on closing them for a minute while the tub filled, but he found his mind clouding over again. He opened his eyes looking out into the unfamiliar hotel room. The door opened and the strange man with the light blue skinned stepped out. He was wearing the same black suit that the Doctor had last seen him in. He smiled at the Doctor as he straightened his tie. 

"Hello John, I didn't think I would see you again," the man said as he came towards the bed. 

"What? What are you doing here?" The Doctor wondered, trying not to let his unhappiness come through in his tone. 

"You invited me," The man told him. The Doctor narrowed his eyes in confusion. The last time he remembered seeing the man he was seizing on the floor of the bathroom. The Doctor had tried not to think of the man since then, but Conner was a constant reminder of the man who had violated his body. 

"I did no such thing," The Doctor snipped at him. 

"Don't be like that, John. We shared a night together and now we have a beautiful son together," The man answered him. The Doctor stood up glaring at the man.

"He will never be your son," The Doctor growled angrily at him. "You used my body for your own pleasure and hurt countless other people."

"So did you," the man taunted him. The Doctor scoffed. 

"You're wrong. I never hurt anyone the way that you hurt me," The Doctor hissed. The man reached out to him. "Don't you dare touch me. You don't have the right to touch me." 

"Doctor?" The man questioned. The man's hand rested on his shoulder and the Doctor pulled away from him as his eyes flew open. He looked up into the concerned eyes of Jack staring down at him. 

"Sweetheart, are you alright?" Jack wondered in concern. The Doctor nodded as he sat up on the bed, breathing hard. He looked around his familiar room seeing no sign of the man that had hurt him. 

"Fine, it was just a bad dream," The Doctor answered. "Is the bath ready?"

"It is, we're just waiting for you," Jack told him. He reached out for the Doctor's hand and the Doctor took it allowing Jack to help him off the bed. Together they went through to the large bathtub in the middle of the bathroom. Ianto was already sitting in the tub waiting for them. He lifted his arm as the Doctor climbed down in the water and the Doctor sat down next to him snuggling up to Ianto. Jack sat down on Ianto's other side, putting the young Welshman in the middle. The three of them sat quietly together, letting the hot air soothe their aching bodies. To everyone's surprise, it was Jack who spoke up first about leaving the tub. 

"We need to think about getting out soon. I still have a lot of work to finish and then I need to decide what to do about Rose," Jack explained. The Doctor leaned forward looking over at Jack. 

"What do you mean? I thought Rose was doing well here," The Doctor wondered. While he had done his best to avoid Rose the last three days due to her inability to understand that he was with Jack and Ianto now, he saw her working with the others and thought she was adjusting. 

"It is not her work that is the problem, nor is it her attitude towards the others. The problem comes from the fact that she refuses to understand that we are a couple now. She spends all her time talking to the others about how she plans on traveling in the TARDIS with you and Conner. They are trying to be kind to her but everyone is tired of hearing it," Jack informed him. The Doctor sighed. 

"I'll talk to her again," The Doctor answered him. 

"You don't have to talk to her alone, Doc. I can sit down with the two of you if you think that it will make it easier," Jack responded. The Doctor shook his head no. 

"No, I can do it," the Doctor replied, leaning back in the tub. He had given Rose a brief explanation of why they couldn't be together as he stood in the garden with his duplicate. Over the last few years, he had moved on. He had taken on new companions and learned to love again while Rose's life had come to a standstill. Yes, she had lived with her mum and Pete in the separate universe and had also worked at Torchwood but that was as far as she had allowed herself to move on. He had found out from Mickey that she refused to date, to make new friends or to even have a social life outside of work. She kept telling everyone that she was going to find a way to return to the correct universe and travel with the Doctor again. Now that she was back, nothing was going to stop her from being with him again except to somehow make her understand that it was over between the two of them. 

"Are you sure?" Ianto questioned, holding the Doctor a little tighter. 

"I am," the Doctor told him with a weak smile. He kissed Ianto on the cheek before laying his head on the Welshman's shoulder. Despite Jack wanting to get out of the tub, he moved sides so that the Time Lord was now between them content to hold his lovers for just a little longer in the warm water.


	54. Chapter 54

It was with great reluctance that the Doctor pulled himself out of the warm water. He dressed quickly in his brown suit before leaving the TARDIS to find Rose. Jack caught up with him in his office, offering once again to go with the Doctor but as tempting as the offer was he had to do this on his own. Kissing his lover softly, he left Jack heading down into the hub. He found Rose easily as she was sitting in front of the rift computer working. She looked up, smiling happily at him as he approached. He had always loved that smile but he forced himself not to smile back at her. 

"Rose, can I talk to you a moment?" The Doctor questioned her. 

"Of course," she answered immediately. She turned away from the computer, turning her chair so that she could look at him. The Doctor glanced around seeing Owen, Tosh, Gwen, and Donna within hearing range. Even if they were looking at their own computers and pretending not to listen, he could see their eyes glancing over curiously. 

"Come with me," he told Rose, not wanting to have the conversation in front of them. Rose stood up and the Doctor turned leading the way. Not sure where else to go, he took her outside into the Plas. The camera turned as they headed towards the bench facing the water and he glared at it, letting Jack know that he knew they were being watched. The camera turned back towards the hub as they reached the bench. Rose took a seat on it but the Doctor chose to lean against the railing with his back to the water. 

"Come sit by me," Rose told him. He shook his head no. 

"I'd rather stand," He answered. He didn't add that his bottom was sore thanks to Jack and Ianto. What he got up to in the bedroom with the two of them was his own business. Still, he didn't mind the soreness and wouldn't mind joining them again. He reached up rubbing the back of his neck as he forced his mind away from Jack and Ianto and back to Rose. 

"It's a beautiful day," Rose commented. 

"It is," The Doctor agreed as looked up at the sky. Though the sky was slightly cloudy, it was warm and sunny out making a nice change from the last few days of rain. "We should still have more rain than usual do the atmospheric disturbance. Still, it will pass. Everything does."

"That's alright. I enjoy the rain," Rose informed him. "But we both know that you didn't bring me out here to discuss the weather so why don't you tell me what is really bothering you."

"I've been talking to Jack and he tells me that you are doing well here. He thinks you are an invaluable member of his team. He would love for you to stay on and help but he can't allow at the moment. Not until you come to terms with the fact that I am with Jack and Ianto now and the three of us are raising Conner together," The Doctor explained to her. 

"I could be a good mother to Conner," Rose insisted.

"I know and I am sure that one day you will make a good mother but not to my son. I tried to tell you this before you decided to stay and I'm sorry if you thought by staying that somehow we would end up together," The Doctor apologized. Rose reached out to him but he didn't take her hand and after a moment she let it drop as she continued. 

"I waited for you, Doctor. I knew that one day that we would be able to be together again after you came to the beach to show me that there was a way back. That was the reason I went to work at Torchwood in the first place. To find my way back to you," Rose explained to him. The Doctor closed his eyes briefly as he bit back an explanation of the consequences of her actions, choosing to focus on their current conversation. 

"I went to the beach to tell you goodbye, Rose. Not to show you the way back," The Doctor informed her. He opened his eyes again to see her looking up at him with tears in her eyes.

"And on the worst day of my life. You said Rose Tyler before you were gone. How was that sentence supposed to end?" Rose questioned him. He sighed. 

"Does it need saying?" He asked her, not wanting to say the words not now. That part of his life was over and telling her he loved her wouldn't change anything. 

"Please, Doctor, just tell me," Rose begged him. 

"Saying the words won't change anything. It has taken me a lot of years to learn that some things are better left in the past. I have no choice but to move on and I believe it is the time that you learned to do the same," The Doctor told her. He knew his words were hurting her but they had to be said. He had no choice but to somehow make her understand that while a part of him loved her and always would he had moved on. He had found a man that he could spend the rest of his life with. He had told you many years ago that she could spend forever with him but he couldn't spend his life with her and he had meant it. With Jack, though, he could. Jack wouldn't die and leave him like everyone else. 

"Can we still be friends?" Rose asked. 

"Of course," He told her softly. He held out his arms to her and she stood wrapping her own around him. He hugged her tightly, as he silently hoped that she took his words to heat. That she moved past their reunion and allowed herself to love again. Releasing her, he took her hand as together they went back into the hub. Jack was once again waiting for him, sitting inside the visitor center for their return. He released Rose's hand letting her go into the hub first as he stared at his lover. 

"How did it go?" Jack questioned once Rose was out of hearing range. 

"She's a little upset but you should have any more problems with her telling people she is leaving with me and Conner," The Doctor informed him. 

"And how are you?" Jack asked in concern. 

"Sore," The Doctor admitted. He groaned as a large smile crossed Jack's face. Shaking his head, he went back into the hub to continue his work.


	55. Chapter 55

-Four months later-

The hub was running with a precision that Jack never thought possible, thanks to his abundance of employees. Thanks to the knowledge of John, Donna, and the Doctor, their systems had been upgraded allowing them to collect artifacts quicker and more efficiently than in the past. Rose had settled in, still not quite accepting that she was no longer going to be with the Doctor, but trying to learn to move on. She tried to get along with the others, still feeling like an outcast and choosing to spend time down in the archives helping Ianto with the paperwork that needed to be done on a daily basis. It was because of her help that Ianto was finally caught up on all of the paperwork that he needed to do allowing him to spend more time with his family. For the first time since Torchwood three had been founded, it was ahead of the work that needed to be done on a daily basis allowing more time to research the rift and help those in Cardiff who needed it. It also allowed them time to explore their relationships. 

"Oh my god. This place is turning into a brothel," Gwen cried out as she opened the door to the archive room to find it occupied by two people. She slammed the door closed as she heard laughter from the other side. She really should learn to knock as in the last few months she had walked in on a combination of Jack, the Doctor, Ianto or all three together. She had found Mickey and Martha making out inside of the small room off the autopsy room while Tosh and Owen had also become close. She thought she had learned where in the hub it was safe to go but now she had another two to worry about running into. 

"It's not a brothel yet, but arrangements can be made," Jack told her as he came up behind her. 

"At this rate, it is going to become one," Gwen huffed as she hurried up the stairs, mumbling under breath as she went. Curious Jack went to the door opening it enough to peek in. 

"Oi. A little privacy," John yelled as he heard the door open again. The door remained opened as Jack stared into the room in amazement. John was standing at the desk, with his trousers around his thighs while Donna sat on the desk with him between her legs. She glared at Jack. 

"Get out," She snapped at him. 

"The Doctor is not going to believe this," Jack told them as he turned to leave. 

"Don't you dare tell him," Donna yelled. It was too late though as Jack hurried up the stairs eager to inform the Doctor that Donna didn't think John was just another scrawny spaceman. Donna sighed as she looked back at John but he didn't look as concerned. While he was still learning and adapting to his new half-human body, there was one thing that he knew for sure. He cared deeply for the woman in his arms. She was always there when he needed her, whether it was with a kind word or a harsh slap on his arm. He also knew that she didn't care he only had one heart now because she was able to see him for John and not the lesser Time Lord he had once thought he had become. 

"They were going to find out eventually," John informed her. "Besides, I don't think the Doctor will mind. He has Jack and Ianto now and before he knows it, Conner will be old enough to go on trips in the TARDIS as well."

"I still think we should have kept this private until we know where this is going," Donna informed him. John smiled at her as he kissed her softly on the lips. Donna kissed him back just as softly as he pulled away from her. He fixed his trousers then helped her to straighten her own clothes. He kissed her one last time before taking her hand and starting up the stairs to join the others.


End file.
